That can work out fine (sometimes) in the dating world, but it’s a really, really frustrating way to ask for a sale. Everyone you meet has a problem. Some of those problems you’re able to solve. By quickly and clearly communicating that fact, you can avoid wasting time and get to the ask.
So… What's Your Problem?
Building a scaffolding to the ask by focusing on the problem isn’t always easy. If you enter a conversation with a referral, it’s a little tricky. If you’re going into a conversation cold, it can feel impossible. If you don’t build towards your ask in the right way, it’s awkward and abrasive for everyone involved.
Focus on learning about the other person, not on proving yourself to them.
Okay. You’re at a networking mixer. A complete stranger comes up and shakes your hand. What do you do?
Do you start rambling about who you are or what you do? No. That doesn’t reveal the problem. Instead, ask questions. Get to know the person. Here are a few to get you started:
- What’s a day like in your life?
- How long have you been in business?
- What’s your area of expertise?
- What kind of growth are you getting?
- What kind of challenges are you facing right now?
- What do you need to get to the next level?

