Are you a good listener? How do you know? And if you aren’t, how do you get better? Knowing the answers to these questions is crucial to getting where you want to be in business and life. In my experience, being a great listener comes down to three principles: listening to understand, asking great questions, and validating what you hear. Here’s my take on how to leverage these three principles in your next conversation.
Listening Principle #1 – Listening to Understand
How much do you really understand when you listen to someone? It may be less than you think. Here’s an exercise I recommend to really focus in on where your listening skills are at. Sit down with someone and have them tell you something. Anything. Then, say it back to them verbatim.
Don’t paraphrase it, don’t tell them what you think they said, say exactly the words that they did. They’ll tell you how accurate you were. Trust me – this exercise can be very difficult, but very enlightening. Really understanding what someone is saying to you takes practice, focus, and patience. It’s also one of the most important things you can do to ensure you’re being an active listener.
Listening Principle #2 – Asking Great Questions
Another way to get the most out of your conversations is to learn to ask great questions. Find places in your conversation to ask open-ended questions that draw out more about what the other person is trying to say. Simply asking “why” at the right point can uncover information that’s crucial to understanding their point.