Simon:

When we start to be truly grateful for where we are in this moment, we begin to energize ourself. We begin to understand that we have more resources at our disposal than we give ourselves credit for. And that is why when we express gratitude with intention, and it's not just great for our own personal energy, but it's also great for business.

Chris:

So happy to be here with you, to be able to have this conversation around energy, why energy is everything. My guest today is Simon Ong. Simon.

Simon:

Thank you so much, Chris. So I guess sort of a quick introduction before handing back to you, Chris. Everything I do is built to energize people to see their world differently and to awaken their imagination of what is truly possible so they can live a better story. And I do that through my work as a coach, working with people such as Michelin star chefs, TV presenters, celebrities, entrepreneurs and leaders, a keynote speaker having presented at companies such as Salesforce, Google, Virgin, and Barclays. And more recently, one of the positives that came out of the COVID Pandemic, apart from becoming a father for the first time was landing a book deal with Penguin Random House to write my debut book called Energize that is released in April.

Chris:

Congratulations buddy. Congratulations on the Child and the book.

Simon:

I've been telling people that it's been one of the greatest challenges I've ever had to deal with. Not just because writing a book is a challenge, of course it is. But what made it tougher was raising a child at the same time as writing a book in lockdown with no family around because my wife's family's in New York and my own family are mainly based in Singapore and Australia.

Chris:

Giving birth to two projects like that, that's a lot for anyone to take without the extended family support. Is that what you're saying there, Simon?

Simon:

Definitely, definitely. It certainly tested my ability to multitask different jobs, from writing a book one second to dealing with a crying baby and nappy is another.

Chris:

Wonderful. So you of all people are probably the most appropriate person to talk about energy because my gosh, how do you balance all that stuff? Writing a book is a very taxing endeavor. I've done it once myself. It was a very torturous process. I have two children myself and I remember those early days. It's not a lot of sleep and not a lot of getting done, always on constant alert. So why are we talking about energy today? Why is energy the field that drives our success and gives you the power to achieve your potential?

Simon:

Sure. Well first of all Chris, I think that when many of us sit down and plan our futures, what happens is the first place that we start is we have a vision, a vision for our personal life or vision for our business. And then when we work back from that vision, we start to put together a plan. So we start to plan well, how are we going to make that vision a reality? And out of that plan comes a series of actions or a series of tasks that we have to address in order to make that plan a reality and that vision manifest. Now the thing is, what happens for many of us is once we've got this plan together and we've got a list of things we have to focus on, if we don't have the energy to execute and follow through on them, all of those things will remain a distant dream.

And so actually energy is the foundation of accomplishing a lot of things in our life. When we think about productivity, the first concept that comes into our mind is time management. But for me, a step before considering time management is energy management. Because what I experienced when I was in full-time work is that if you get given a day off work, so let's say your manager says to you, "Tomorrow, work isn't busy at the moment. Take a day off work, do what you need to do and enjoy your day off." Many of us, what we actually do, including myself at the time when I was in employment, is we would wake up late and then we would end up watching daytime television and then I would only get around to doing the things I wanted to do by mid-afternoon or towards the end of the day.

So even though I had the time, I lacked the focus or energy to actually get the things I wanted to do done. And that is why when you see those people that are energized, they're able to get far more done in hours and days than many are able to get done in weeks, months, or even years. And that's what I wanted to explore in this book is that there were two factors that contributed to that. The first is when I was working in the field of finance, I experienced burnout in the second job I had after Lehman Brothers collapsed. And I was one of the employees in Lehman Brothers as it raced towards its demise in September, 2008.

And so after Lehman, I went to work in a hedge fund as a trader and the hours were long. I was in the office around 6:00 or 7:00 each morning, and very often I wouldn't finish until 7:00 or 8:00 in the evening. I was a junior at the time, and so it meant I had to cover for the New York guys who were in the office later in the day. And there was one evening towards Christmas, one year in which I went to a client entertainment event and I told my girlfriend at the time that I would be back home on the last train.

Now what actually happened is I didn't get home till around 3:00 in the morning. My girlfriend at the time, as you can imagine was worried sick, she tried to call me but I didn't answer because my mobile phone didn't have any network when I was at this club on the ground. And then I couldn't pick up the phone on the way back home because I was far from being anything close to sober. We had a soul-to-soul conversation the next day, we talked about what I was going through.

I was going through a period in life in which I was lost, and I just simply hadn't any energy to focus on what was most important. And I realized then what was going on, Chris, is that for this job, which I'd only embarked in this career because I had mistakenly believed growing up as an Asian child, the success was defined by my job title, be a banker, be a lawyer, be a doctor, be an accountant. So this career for me was very unfulfilling. And so experiencing that burnout made me realize that if this job was going to cost me my physical and mental energy, it wasn't a job worth pursuing. It wasn't a job worth continuing in. And so that was one of the reasons I wrote this book is to really talk about this idea of burnout and stress, which I went through and it really affected my physical and mental energy.

At that point I decided to refocus my career on addressing that first, to get my physical health in order, i.e, getting sufficient rest, feeding myself better, moving my body more. And then on the mental side is to really start asking myself the question of what success meant for me. And actually going back to what we said earlier, Chris, about vision, is that I think that many of us are exhausted because we are trying to run someone else's race. We are measuring our progress with metrics determined by other people that we haven't stopped to reflect on what the success mean to me. What does fulfillment look like? And then the challenge when we have had the time to answer those questions is to design our life around those answers. Because I think that when we understand the work that we are meant to do here on planet earth, we awaken the greatest sources of energy that there is.

And then the second factor that helped to contribute to this idea of energize, Chris, is I would speak at conferences and organizations, and after my talk, when I would walk down from stage, I would often get asked by members of the audience, "Simon, if I only had a small percentage of your energy, I could accomplish so much more in my life and career." And so comments like that got me thinking, what contributed to make me feel energized every single day, to wake up to the smell of possibilities, to wake up to the idea that life can surprise us in very unexpected ways, and also to wake up with the desire to be better than who I was yesterday? What was it that contributed to that? And so that's how the genesis of the book came about, Chris.

Chris:

Wonderful. I want to jump in on your story here a little bit. I have a bunch of questions I'm writing down as you're talking to be able to follow up with you. But for a period in time in my life, I worked to not to have to work anymore because I thought that's the ultimate form of success, where you can build up enough financial resources where you now no longer have to work. It's just joyful to work. And I found something that was happening, I was starting to check out. And I remember this very clearly, I was having a meeting with my financial planner. And in case you guys don't know what a financial planner is, once you make some money, you work with someone to make your money make money for you.

And I'm meeting with him and it's a discussion that my wife and I have had over the last couple of years, but I decided to ask him one day out of the blue. And discussion that my wife and I had been having, which is, "Honey, when can I retire? When is enough money, enough money." Because I enjoy working, I enjoy talking about money, making money, but I don't count it. I don't look at it. I have no idea. And since my wife and I started dating, she took care of all our finances. I have no idea what's in our account. I have not been to the bank except for when I have to sign paperwork.

And so she kept telling me, "Just a couple of more years, honey." Because I'm just envisioning this future where I get to sit on my boat and go fishing and that's all I want to do. It's every man's dream, I think. And she kept saying, "A couple more good years, we're in a good groove now [inaudible 00:10:47] profitable, do that and it'll set up our nest egg." So I kept thinking that carrot was being dangled out to me just every few years into the future and I'll eventually get there.

But on this occasion, I'm sitting down with my financial planner and I asked him, his name is John by the way. So I said, "John, when can I retire?" And he is like, "What do you mean?" I was like, "Well, I was just thinking I don't want to work anymore." And he's like, "Okay." He looks over the paperwork and he looks back at me, he's like, "I have some news for you." I'm like, "What is it?" He said, "You could have retired years ago given how much money you have, the assets you've accumulated and how relatively little you spend. You live a very modest lifestyle, you could retire now." And I was in shock and disbelief and I turned over to my wife, head to the side like, "Honey, you've been telling me all this time, a couple more years, John is telling us it could be done."

And she starts backpedaling. It's kind of hilarious. She starts backpedaling like, "I didn't say you need to work more. It was nice that if you could." And so that day I go home and start thinking about this thing where I started to design a life for myself where I didn't work anymore and I didn't have that fire. And it became very clear to me. And I'm concerned because I have this theory that the reason why some men who after retirement seem to not live very long is because they lack purpose. They don't know what else to do. A lot of men, especially my father who's old school, he doesn't have any hobbies, he doesn't have anything else to do. So when there's no work left, they start to not regulate their energy much anymore.

It wasn't until I found a bigger mission, a bigger purpose, which is to teach that fire that I thought was slowly going out, had reignited in ways that today, it's like I jump out of bed every morning, sometimes at 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning like, "I'm ready to do what needs to be done today." So that's how my energy is today versus how it was when I was figuring out I don't want to work anymore.

Simon:

Definitely Chris. Well, I can relate a lot to that because it reminded me... Again, my background was in finance and I remember catching up with an old friend of mine who still works in the industry and I said to him, "What is it you want to do long term? Do you want to remain in the world of finance?" And he said, "Simon, I'm not sure, but I think there's more that I need to do here because someone that I started this journey with, he's earning more than me and I need to be earning more 'cause I don't think I'm paid enough." And so I put a question back to him and I said to him, "Well, if you were to earn more than him, so let's say you get to the point that you are earning more than this friend of yours who you are seeing as your competition, what next? What would you do next?"

And he couldn't answer the question of what next because he was so focused on just the money side that he hadn't given a thought to what else was beyond that. And there's a great analogy that is often shared on social media about how money is just like petrol is for a car. When you go into a car, in order to go from A to B, you need to put petrol into the tank to get you to your destination. But in order to know how much petrol to put in or how much pitstops to have on your route to point B, you have to know the destination. And it's sort of the same thing with money. When you start a business, you've got to understand, well how much money do I need to achieve X? Money's just a fuel, but you have to have an idea of what is that thing that is bigger than just you?

And what I found Chris, is that some of the most successful leaders and business owners does that I've come across, what they have is they have attached their desires to something bigger than themself. And I think what they've understood is that our value as a human at the end of the day is determined by how much more we have given to the world than we have taken from it. And it's a journey I've been on. It sounds like you've been on as well, Chris, is that for me, it's really a journey from focusing our energy on career virtues to legacy virtues. So when we grow up as a young child, we're always taught to focus on career virtues.

So career virtues are the things such as how much money are you going to earn? What brand or company are you going to work with? What is your status within the competent society? All of these things that you put on your resume are what I would call career virtues, the things that you want to show off with your friends when you catch up over dinner or drinks. Whereas legacy virtues are very different. Legacy virtues are the things such as, well, what is the impact and influence I'm having on the lives of other people? And this is very much connected to your work, Chris, when you say you want to influence 1 billion people's lives and to equip them with the skills to pursue what is meaningful for them, that is more of a legacy virtue. It is the things that people talk about after you've passed.

And so one of the things that energizes me in the present, when I think about legacy virtues, it's asking myself, "How do I want to be remembered?" And for many of us, we probably haven't thought about that question in any depth. I don't know if you've heard this story before Chris, but the Nobel Prizes, few people know how the Nobel Prizes came to be, but the way it happened is that Alfred Nobel came to read a newspaper which mistook his brother, Ludvig Nobel for him. So Ludvig Nobel, Alfred Nobel's brother died in a warehouse fire and the newspapers thought it was Alfred. And he had this rare opportunity to read his eulogy before he had even passed. While he was still alive, he was able to read his eulogy. And the title that they had on the article was, "The Merchant of Death has died."

So in that moment he saw that the world regarded him as a merchant of death because his claim to fame was inventing dynamite and explosives. And so reading this article while he was still alive was the catalyst for him to ask himself that deep question, "How do I want to be remembered?" And so what he did is he channeled into his will, a written statement that would pass on his wealth into the Nobel Prizes to award those for their contributions to humanity. It was that experience that allowed him to rewrite his legacy.

And I think that's what stops many of us being energized. We don't know what it is, that vision that we're hitching our desires to. We haven't really explored those answers, because for me, when we have clarity on a compelling and magnetic vision, productivity becomes easy. It's like what the Indian philosopher, Patanjali noted. He's written some great works, but in particular there's one statement that always resonates with me. He said that, "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitation, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive. And you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."

And I think that is why it is so important to reflect on what is most important for us in our life. What would make your life meaningful? What would help you write a legacy that you can be proud of? And how can you begin today?

Chris:

Wonderful story. It reminds me of something because you were talking about being more productive and you said a lot of times we think it's about time management. And you mentioned before we get to the time, we have to talk about our energy management. And I forget if it was Jim Rohn or maybe Jack Canfield who said this, but something to the effect of, "Don't wish to be more productive because productivity is the byproduct of having clearer goals." So perhaps, your way of describing energy is tied to having clearer goals, that it's serving a higher purpose. Is that the case?

Simon:

In part, yes. So when I think about energy, Chris, I kind of think of in four buckets. So it's physical, it's mental, it's emotional, spiritual. So spiritual is the part of understanding what is our purpose, what is our contribution to the world, but you need to have attention in each of those areas. So I'll give an example. With regards to physical energy, if you have got only two hours of sleep the night before, no productivity hack tip or strategy is going to help you, because you're starting the day off... It's like climbing a mountain and you're starting your journey up the mountain beneath sea level. You're already starting with one foot off the ground and so you're tied back. And so I think that's where the physical energy comes in. The foundation of any productive day is sufficient rest. That's the physical side.

The spiritual side, and the mental side is really knowing ahead of time, what are my goals? How will I know today would've been a productive day? Because otherwise, and just putting another Jim Rohn quote, Chris, what he said is that, "Either you run the day or the day runs you." And that's why one of the simplest habits we can all do to manage our energy first thing in the morning is the night before, plan your day tomorrow. Because otherwise, what happens is when you wake up in the morning, when your energy is at its highest, what are we using it for? We're using it to write down what we want to do for today, we're writing down all our tasks, we're thinking about what's in my diary? What meeting do I have to go to?

And so the morning when your energy is at its highest, it's suddenly leaking away by doing things that actually aren't helping move you forward. So if you were to do that ahead of time, what happens is that first thing in the morning, you can get absolutely focused on the most important task when your energy is high. And that's what stops many people is that by the time you get round to actually doing the work that you wanted to do, your energy's already taken a hit. I mean, many people, the first thing they look at in the morning is their smartphone. Straight away, your energy's being taken away from the present moment and being controlled by the news, controlled by everyone else but yourself.

Chris:

I heard you describe the four forms of energy. I wrote down the three, I didn't get the fourth one, physical, mental, spiritual. What was the fourth one?

Simon:

Emotional.

Chris:

Emotional. How ironic that I forgot emotional energy. My friends will know what I'm talking about. Okay. So you're giving us some things to think about here. I'm curious, Simon, given that you're speaking about this, what is your big goal? What is the legacy, virtue that you're talking about?

Simon:

Sure. So for me, the legacy, virtue is really to know that I have impacted as many people's lives as possible and transformed them and also left a legacy that not only can I be proud of, but my children will be proud of. And I think when you become a parent, it completely changes the way you see legacy. I mean, before you become a parent, a lot of what you do is for yourself, but I think once you start a family and you become a parent, that completely changes how you see a legacy. For me, it's not just about the quality of children I raise, but it's also making them feel proud of their father, making them feel proud of the parents. And so that's what it is for me.

When we think about goals connected to that legacy of mine, so to impact as many lives as possible. When I started on this journey, a lot of my goals were very much tied to things like money, to achieving certain things such as getting featured in certain news outlets or earning X number of clients. But as I started to focus my energy more on the legacy side of things, my goal simply became to be better than who I was yesterday, to simply be better than who I was yesterday. And that shifts my energy more towards the mindset of an eternal student. Just focus on being better than who you were yesterday. And in a year from now, three years from now, five years from now, you'll be surprised at just how far you will be in your own personal development.

And there's a British philosopher here in the UK, Chris, called Alain de Botton, and he recently said something which I thought summed what I just shared very well. He said that if you are not embarrassed by who you were last year, you are not growing or developing enough. And I think that is a position we should be in the sense that if we're constantly growing, if we're constantly seeking challenges to make us better than who we were yesterday, of course when we look back, we're going to be a little embarrassed by some of the things we did a year ago, even two years ago because of how much we have grown since then.

Chris:

Ooh, that really aligns with my own thinking there. Alain de Botton is an amazing philosopher and he has this YouTube channel called The School of Life, for those of you that are curious. I love his talks. He's kind of very dry in his delivery, but he's rather humorous and he has deep thoughts of course, as a philosopher would have, and you would expect that. But this idea of being embarrassed by who you were a year ago is about having these benchmarks of progress. And sometimes this is quite interesting because people will say some things as a form of an insult, "Oh, you've changed. I don't recognize who you are." And that's usually done in a pejorative way. And for me, it's like it's a compliment.

When I was at art center a couple years back and I was part of an event there and I ran into somebody who I hadn't seen in over 10, 15 years and he's like, "I could barely recognize you, Chris." And I was thinking, "Oh, that's good. I think that's good." And my thought was, "You look and sound exactly the same." And it's this drive that I have to try to be this, like you said, an eternal student to always want to learn and to be insatiably curious about the world and the way things work. Now, I'm curious how you manage that yourself and what do you do to keep pushing yourself forward?

Simon:

Sure. So for me, Chris, I think, and I'll talk about where the drive came from first and then how I continue to be motivated, to push forward. So for me, I think where the drive came from is from an experience when I was 19 years old, I remember I was at school and during a physics class, I got called to the headmaster's office. Now, when you get called to the headmaster's office, more often than not it's because it's for bad behavior or you're about to get a telling off from the headmaster. So I walked along this long hallway on route to the headmaster's office with anxiety, flooding through my system wanting to understand, "Well why am I called to the office?" Because I was a very shy Chinese student, I kind of kept myself to myself and just wanted to fit in.

And so after inviting me to sit in the chair, the headmaster started by saying, "Simon, I want you to take the rest of the week off school." And he then proceeded to tell me that the reason is because your mom had an unfortunate accident and she slipped into a coma and the hospital staff don't know if she's going to make it. And so waiting outside the room in the reception area was my father with my brother in the car. And we drove to the hospital within an hour later. Unfortunately she didn't make it. So 19 years old, I lost my mom. She hadn't even reached 50 years old. She passed at 49.

And as you can imagine, there were many life lessons that came from such a personal tragedy. But I think the one that really stuck with me and has been the catalyst for a lot of my drive was two words, Chris, that came from that experience. And those words don't wait. Don't wait. And I think that if we are to fully embrace those two words, don't wait, it can not only be the antidote to regret, but it can set us on a path to fulfillment. So for me, that experience was a huge catalyst in giving birth and fire to my drive. And I think what helps me keep that drive is really by managing my energy.

That early experience in the banking industry of burning out taught me that if I want to have the impact I want to have in the world, I need to focus on designing a routine and a system that allows me to thrive, not just survive. And so it's to understand how can I protect my energy for what is most important, but also how I can recharge myself for what is to come, especially this year with the book coming out, I need to manage my energy well because around the launch there's going to be a lot of events and a lot of press that I have to do as part of the contract.

So once we have clarity on what is it we're working towards, we've then got to be responsible to manage the energy to ensure that we are able to show up each day as our best selves. Otherwise, what we see in the newspapers and these Gallup polls about employees and entrepreneurs across the planet is many simply just burnout. And that is why in one of the chapters of the book, I talk about the idea that consistency always beats intensity. Consistency always beats intensity, because you rather find your energetic rhythm and get into that flow rather than go all out, guns blazing and then you lose the willpower, you lose the drive to continue because you just exhausted yourself.

So I think that's where the drive stemmed from, Chris. And in terms of managing it now, it's just being really aware and more in tune with myself. I guess the acronym I use is being a better CEO, which I like to call chief energy officer, because I think that when we quiet down our mind and our life, we begin to appreciate that our body's always speaking to us. The question is, are we listening to it?

Chris:

Okay. I'm on the train with you here. We're talking about energy, how to manage it and how to direct it towards things and considering the four components of it according to what you're thinking about, physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional. And you just touched upon something about this need for constant improvement. At least that's how I heard it. But I know when I talk about this, this can be, and I'm putting air quotes here, "triggering" for a lot of people because it creates this pressure to always do more, to be better, and it's associated with hustle culture. And then of course, you mentioned burning out. How can someone who's listening to this and hear the two of us talking about perpetual growth, constant improvement and not to feel like you guys are pedaling something here that I just feel like it's not helping me with my energy management right now?

Simon:

Sure. Well first of all, Chris, I think where the pressure comes from is often when we talk about our personal growth or improvement, we as a society tend to be comparing our speed versus other people. So what happens is that we look at other people who are on the same journey as us and we keep saying, "Oh, well we're not doing enough. I should be doing more because this person's here, this person is there." And that can create a lot of pressure on us by always comparing our speed and our direction against other people. And so for me, the way to take that pressure off is simply just to focus on your own journey. And this all comes up to each of us individually because only you will know this, are you just a little bit better than who you were yesterday? And it doesn't have to be significantly better.

Again, the key here is even if it's just one tiny step better, and that's it. Just imagine if you did one step each day, no more, for one year, that is 365 steps closer to wherever it is you're working towards. And now any of us can take just one step, but I think what happens is that we can pressure ourself to need to take giant steps, or we pressure ourself that we're not doing enough. So we've got to fill in all the blank space in our diary and schedule with more in order to catch up with others. But the problem is there's no one to catch up with because their destination can be very different to yours. What is important to them may be very different to you. And so I think the improvement part is important because what happens is that as you create momentum, that itself creates energy, actually by spending energy in a way that is important to you, that itself creates more energy to explore more possibilities.

When I was on this journey from being an employee to an entrepreneur, what I discovered is that once that feeling of making momentum an ally kicked in, I never want to go back to the way things were because that experience just energized me to want to do more. But again, it's more within my own definition of rates, not more in terms of relative to other people. And I think that's where a lot of pressure comes in, Chris, is that we see where other people at and we think we have to do what they're doing in our own life.

The way I see it is that you should draw on the inspiration, draw on the insights, draw on the learnings from other people, yes, and then figure out how can you take what resonates most with you and apply in your own life. Because we all have different obligations, we work different constraints, we all have different routines that work for us. And so it's about designing your own philosophy and living life true to you.

Chris:

Wonderful.

Simon:

I was curious on one of the questions you asked me earlier about drive, it's so good to put a question back to you, Chris.

Chris:

Okay, sure.

Simon:

So I know you do a lot of work, you're impacting many lives with the community and the work that you do. Where does your drive come from?

Chris:

I think I mentioned it briefly before. My drive comes from this desire that I've been able to achieve more than I ever dreamt possible. And I'm in a good place financially. I have enough, I have more than enough. And it's a conversation that my wife and I had with of all people, our attorney. We sat around and we're designing a living trust so that in the untimely demise of both of us, what should we do with our money for our children, and how do we want to take care of them? And that question really brought a lot of things into focus. And what I don't want to do is for my children to count the days in which their parents might die so that they can inherit whatever money we've saved up. I didn't want that. I wanted to give them the very best in education and help them out a little bit, but then I wanted them to have their own success, challenges, struggles and failures. I didn't want them just to live under our shadow.

And so it started us thinking about what do we do with the money that we have that we have yet to spend? And does having more of it make us better people? Does it make us more comfortable or feel more secure? And it started to spend, my head at least in a lot of different directions. And as an immigrant to the United States, I've been able to achieve things and get things that, like I said before, part of the American Dream. And what I want to do is make sure that everyone else has some shot at their dream, whatever, or however big or small it might be. So I'm doing the best that I can to share what I've learned in as many ways as I can so that that can lift people up into their fire.

Simon:

I love that, Chris.

Chris:

Okay. Simon, why don't you tell us another idea from the book, the things that you've been thinking about and writing about.

Simon:

Sure. So one of the exercises I share in a book, which if you have a pen and paper at hand actually, you can jot this down. I'm often asked, "What is the quickest way that I can elevate my energy and mood, especially on those days when I don't happen to be operating in the way I want to be? And so it's an exercise I do myself, but I also get many clients to undertake, and it consists of three parts. Very briefly, the first is to write down the name of somebody that you can be truly grateful for, somebody who has shaped you into who you are today. It could be a friend, a family member, a colleague, a mentor or a coach. The second part of this is to write down why you chose that person. What have they done for you specifically that made you choose that person that you can be most grateful for? What would life be if they were not in your life? In what ways have they shaped you into the person you are today and how you go about working with other people?

Now the key to the second part is to write that down in as much detail as possible, because the third part here is where a real magic happens. The third part is to give that person a call. Pick up this phone and call that person and read out word for word, sentence by sentence, everything that you wrote down, and simply notice what you notice. If you are curious to learn more about that exercise, I recommend going on to YouTube and searching for SoulPancake gratitude. They did this exercise with a sample of people, and what they found, you can watch on YouTube, is that the person that came into the room, the least happiest, came out of the room the most happiest after doing that exercise. It is powerful in terms of elevating your mood and energy in an instant.

Chris:

So Simon, what you're talking about is the act of expressing our gratitude for other people makes us happier and increases our energy. Is that the idea?

Simon:

Definitely. Because what I come to realize is that gratitude is the gateway drug to abundance. What happens is that once we become truly great about what we have, for example, the home that you are in, no matter how small or dingy it is, it's every homeless person's dream. So what happens is that when we start to be truly grateful for where we are in this moment, we begin to energize ourself. We begin to understand that we have more resources at our disposal than we give ourselves credit for. And that is why when we express gratitude with intention, and it's not just great for our own personal energy, but it's also great for business, because many of us, we express gratitude very superficially. We've got to a point now where people just randomly pick three things that come to their heads and go, "Yeah, the sun was out today, I caught up with a friend for coffee, and this happened in my business. These are the things I'm grateful for."

But the thing is, when you slow down deliberately and express it with intention, it deepens the power of gratitude. And I'll give you some examples, some practical examples of how gratitude can be used in business. So I remember Chris, back in the beginning of 2020, I was invited onto Sky News, which is a national news channel here in the UK, for what was a six-minute interview. And after I walked out of the studios, I walked up to the security garden, I said, "Could you write down on a bit of paper all the names of the team that invited me into the studio?" And so what I did when I went home, there were about three people's names he put down, I went onto a gift site and I got those three people a box of chocolates and I sent it to them first class. So it was with them within just two days.

And one of those members in the team sent me a WhatsApp back and said, "Simon, that is only the second time that that has happened to us since we've been here in the production team." And it got me thinking, surely all the people that have been invited into the studio, wouldn't they want to say their thanks? Wouldn't they want to express gratitude for the fact they had this opportunity to share their insights with a nation? And that's when it dawned on me that actually very few of us, whether it's our personal life, whether it's in business, express gratitude with intention.

And I think that when you do, the reason I say it's good for business and it's good for us as well in terms of energy is because I remember years later with another event organizer, I said, "I'm looking to run an event with a colleague of mine. We're partnering up on the business idea and I'm wondering if I could use your space and how much it would cost." And I still have her Facebook message she sent back to me and she simply said in there, "Simon, do not worry. The event space is yours and anything we can do to help support you, please let us know. We still haven't forgotten that Christmas hamper that you bought us a few years back." And so I think these are the practical ways in how we can embrace gratitude in both a personal and professional manner.

Chris:

Wonderful. You said that consistency beats intensity, that you have to be able to do this over long periods of time. The second word is intensity. However, I take a little umbridge with this because I work in a very intense way. So I'd like to, with your permission, make a little adjustment to that. So my version of this would be consistency beats intensity when intensity isn't consistent. Is that okay?

Simon:

That's perfect, Chris.

Speaker 3:

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Speaker 3:

Welcome back to our conversation.

Chris:

So my friend Rukia is up here on stage and I think she has something to add or to say possibly, Rukia?

Speaker 13:

Hello Simon. Thank you so much for having this conversation with us all today. I like what you said about the energy, consistency beats intensity. And I like the three words, Chris, not to disagree with you, but I love the three words and it leaves a lot open for interpretation and to fill in the blanks. So you worked at Lehman and after 2008 during the crash, I think you were realizing that you need to make some changes and you wanted to have work-life balance. What are some things that you did to have a more consistent routine? Because with the restaurant industry, and like Chris just said to echo that, but a lot of industries, there are periods where the business is more intense, there's these peaks and valleys, so we are working crazy for summer events and then comes holiday and then comes fall. So what do you do to mitigate your energy and stay consistent during those times?

Simon:

Sure. Rukia, great question by the way. So I think with any industry, there are going to be different challenges for us in terms of, as you said, periods in which there are lots of things going on and periods where there aren't. So just to give you an example of how I can relate to what you shared is the launch, my book is at the end of April. So I already know that in April and in the three to four weeks after, the publication day, things are going to be pretty busy for me. And so knowing that, what I am doing is ahead of time, I'm already diverting any meetings or any sort of demands on my time that is not book-related around that day to be pushed till June onwards. I'm also making more space in my diary to ensure that I can actually make time to go for the gym and do activities that will help me decompress during what will be a very busy period.

So I think if there are things that you know ahead of time, that is great because that gives you data and insight on how you can manage your energy ahead of those things actually coming up, which is what I'm doing with my diary coming up to April. So when those things are known, Rukia, it actually makes it easier for us to manage and protect our energy. What is the real challenge is when things come up unexpectedly. When things come up unexpectedly, that is when we've got to schedule our diary. We've got to learn to adapt. And for me, that's the greater challenge than the periods of intensity or periods when there's nothing going on because at least you know what's coming up, it gives you information to help you design your schedule to make sure you are able to show up as your best self each day, Rukia.

Speaker 13:

Okay, that's great. I'm going to ask you one better question too. So when you are going to do the book launch, you'll have all these talks coming up, podcasts, different meetings, TV shows, and there's an energy that comes with that, right? You're in the groove, you talk to somebody like Chris. That's more energy to manage. So you have to manage your physical energy and then you have to manage your mental energy. If you could speak on that.

Simon:

Sure. So first of all, one thing I will say is you are correct, Rukia. The opportunity to speak in rooms, to speak on television, to speak on radio, that in itself for me is energizing. That gives me more energy because it gets me excited to go and do some of these things. But I also know that in order for me to show up as my best self in each of those opportunities, I've got to ensure that I have that energy.

So for example, in the beginning of March, for three days, I am going to be in the studio recording the audiobook, a day before then, I am partnering with WeWork and a celebrity here in the UK for International Women's Day to deliver a keynote. And then the day before that I'm going to the factory where the book is going to be printed so we can capture some content. Now, I know for that week that I have to have a good voice. And so in the week before, what I'm doing is if I have other speaking events, I will keep my daytime relatively free and make sure that I'm topping up on as much tea, honey and ginger as I can.

So for me, what I'm doing there is I have to preserve my asset, so to speak, which is my voice, so that when those things come up that are energizing for me, I can deliver and enjoy that as best I can.

Speaker 13:

Awesome. Here's a little tip. I saw a documentary about Celine Dion and before she goes on tour, she doesn't talk on the phone or to anyone, she'll tap on the phone once for yes and two for no, something like that. Thanks so much.

Simon:

Thank you so much for the great questions, Rukia, and I can relate to you about the writing the book. Anybody who's written a book, in fact, I have huge respect for.

Speaker 13:

Thank you.

Chris:

Thank you, Rukia. Does somebody else up on stage want to have or a thought or a question for Simon?

Speaker 14:

I have a question, Chris.

Chris:

Hi Heather.

Speaker 14:

Hi, how are you?

Chris:

I'm doing great. Good to hear your voice.

Speaker 14:

Thank you. Simon, quick question for you. So you say when you get involved with projects, it gives you a lot of energy, but for me, it's actually the opposite. I'm a really introverted person, so I'd lose energy afterwards. Any advice on how to recharge if what you love to do, actually... It's not that I don't want to do it, but it kind of takes a recovery period.

Simon:

I'm curious, Heather, first of all, when you say that you lose energy afterwards, what do you think gives you that loss of energy?

Speaker 14:

I think it's the interaction with people is kind of exhausting to me a little bit. I love people and I love being engaged with people, but I really need kind of downtime afterwards. It's a lot of stimulation.

Simon:

So it sounds like, if I'm not mistaken, Heather, that maybe the projects are exciting, but it's the after feeling where you feel you've lost a bit of energy because of the people interactions.

Speaker 14:

Exactly.

Simon:

Well, first of all, I think whenever we get involved in projects, they can be exciting at the beginning, but there are always going to be aspects that can impact our energy and especially if we're introverts and the projects involve dealing with a lot of people, interacting with many people there. And I think what you said just now about getting downtime after, that's how you want to recharge. I mean, what you want to do is that once you've done the project, once you've interacted with people, make sure you are getting downtime. Because what tends to happen is many of us actually forget that downtime part. We just move from project to project to project, and we're just leaking energy all over the place. And so I think the very fact that you are aware that you need the downtime, you are aware that you need this time to decompress after your involvement in a project, it sounds like you are managing things fairly well there, Heather, if I'm not mistaken.

Speaker 14:

Oh, well, thank you for the advice. I think it's touch and go, but thank you for the encouragement of what I think I'm already doing.

Simon:

Perfect. Thank you so much. But like I said, Heather, the awareness is key. We can't change what we're not aware of. Self-development in my eyes always begins with self-awareness and it's great that you've got that with the way you interact with people and with the projects you're working on.

Speaker 14:

Thank you so much.

Chris:

Go ahead, Henry.

Speaker 15:

Simon, real quick, how do you repel energy sucks? Those energy sucks that come in and out of your life each and every day, how do you repel them?

Simon:

Good question. I guess you're referring to people, places and things, Henry, so I'm just going to take that as an assumption, if I'm correct there, Henry?

Speaker 15:

That's correct.

Simon:

Perfect. So if I start with people, I categorize people in one or two categories. There are people that we, let's say we call them energizers and there are people that are, let's call them drainers. So when you are around energizers, you can't help but fill your energy lifted. It's like when you walk into a room, there might be two people in front of you and you feel drawn to want to engage with one over the other before any of them has said a single word. And what is drawing you to them is their energy. The way I think about it is energy in this sense is a language with no words, but yet you and I can feel it, whether that's through the voice, whether that's with the body language, whether that's through just the charisma or the presence of somebody when they come in a room.

And then there's the drainers. Your very being around the drainer saps you of any energy you had when you first walked in that room. And so in order to manage that, we've got to protect our energy. We've got to be spending more time with those who energize us, who are the so-called energizers and less time with the drainers. That's the first thing. And now this doesn't just apply to people, this applies to what we watch, what we listen to, who we follow on social media, even our physical environment. A simple as simple shift, Henry, in our physical environment can radically transform the way our mind operates.

I had a client I was working with last year who didn't really feel motivated to plan his week ahead. He said, "I plan my week ahead, but I really feel uninspired when I do it. And I just end up writing the same thing I wrote last week and I'm not really writing the things I want down and putting a plan together." And I said, "Where are you doing this planning?" And he said, "Oh, just my kitchen where I've been doing it all the time." And I said, Well, what I want you to do next week is I want you to plan it in inspiring places that you would love to spend more time in."

And so the first place he spent time in was the Ritz Hotel here in London. And he sort of got a table, he ordered some tea and he started planning his week ahead. And he sent me a photo on WhatsApp and he said, "Simon, I've just spent the morning in the Ritz Hotel lobby planning my week ahead. I'm inspired, I'm excited, and I can't wait to get started." So even our physical spaces, when we change the spaces we spend time in, that can transform the energy we bring to the activities we do in that's surrounding, Henry.

Speaker 15:

I love it. So is it more of a value-based thing, meaning intuitively you know what your values are? So when something approaches you, person, place, or thing, you know right out of the gate, this thing is going to be a drag or it's going to be a charge. So it's really being very self-aware. Am I offkey there?

Simon:

You're perfectly on key, Henry. And this is why building a better relationship with your body and whatever you want to call it, gut, intuition, I mean, I call it energy, but in yoga they call it prana, in Maori culture they call it mana, Chinese culture, they call it chi. In Star Wars, they call it the force, whatever we want to call it, we're referring to the same thing, which is energy. I think when we better understand it, what happens is that that voice has a lot of wisdom in it. That voice has a lot of wisdom in it. So as you said, Henry, when you meet someone and you have a feeling that you don't want to spend much time with this individual or you want to spend more time with them, that is your energy speaking. Again, this is something you feel but you can't always articulate.

It's like when someone asks you, "How did you know it was the right time to get married?" People wouldn't say, "Well, I sat down, I had a checklist. We ticked the boxes and we arrived at a score and I said, oh, because we're above 80, we can now get married." No, most of us would just say it just felt like the right time. It just felt that this was a time we were meant to get married. And with a lot of these things, it comes from feeling, it comes from that voice inside. When we silence that critic and cultivate the guide within, what happens is that we understand just how much wisdom there is inside of us. It's why the saying that goes, "The longest journey that we as humans make are the [inaudible 00:56:02] from our heads to our hearts." It can never be more true, because while it may not always lead us to where we want to be, it always leads us to where we need to be.

Chris:

Thank you, Simon, for that. Thanks, Henry, for asking. Sona, did you have a question first?

Speaker 16:

I did. It was kind of summing off of what Simon just talked about and it was reminding me a lot about intuition because you were talking about how trying to articulate that feeling that you don't know how to articulate. That very much to me sounds exactly like intuition. So I guess my question to you is how much does intuition play a part in energizing oneself? Do you talk and discuss about building that inner knowing of what's going on?

Simon:

Perfect. Well, great question, Sona. I mean, for me, when I talk about intuition in the book, and really it's about understanding ourself at a deeper level, because for me, that is true wisdom, true wisdom comes under understanding ourselves better. And there's a woman that I interviewed for the book, her name is Diana Chao, so do check out her work, Diana Chao, surname, C-H-A-O. And she launched the world's largest youth-for-youth nonprofit called Letters to Strangers. And when I talked to her, what really helped her understand herself better and actually saved her life because she was close to suicide multiple times, was the activity of writing. And in the Ted Talk that she delivered, she shared that writing is humanity distilled into ink. Writing is humanity distilled into ink.

And this was really about me talking about how journaling has impacted my life. And she was also talking about how writing has impacted her life. Because I think when we write down our thoughts, what happens is that we breathe life into them, otherwise we just leave the thoughts up in our head and that can cause stress and overthinking. But when we download our thoughts onto paper, we give ourself the ability to reflect on what is going on in our mind and to organize them and get clarity on the best way forward by better understanding that voice within. Otherwise, it just remains in our head. And what happens is we just get noted up in this overthinking, whereas by process of writing, pen to paper is recommended, because when you have pen to paper, you are forced to slow down. You are forced to right with intention, you're forced to really think about the force that arise in your head.

So that's how I sort of talk about it from that perspective, Sona, how we deepen that intuition simply by getting to know ourself better, by deepen that relationship with our true self.

Speaker 16:

That's great. I'm excited to dive into this. I think intuition gets a really bad wrap and a lot of what you're discussing is exactly the process to deepen that inner knowing. I love that, putting from pen to paper. Yeah, this is great. Thank you so much.

Chris:

Thank you, Sona. So the thing I wanted to follow up with what Henry had asked you, which is, he's like, "How do you guard against energy vampires?" You call them drainers. And I'm just curious as to what role do we have, our responsibility and what energy we put out in the world that these energy vampires are attracted to us? How much responsibility do we have in that relationship? What do you think?

Simon:

Sure. My thought is we do play a big role in the sort of people that come into our life, especially if it's people who steal our energy. And that is because we are responsible for the boundaries that we put up. For example, if people drop your WhatsApp or drop your email, say I need this now, and you respond to all of them very quickly, what happens is you are telling these people that please come and demand anything you need from me at whatever time and I will get back to you soon as possible. So we have to be mindful of the message that we are sending out because what's happening is they're basically acting to us what we're telling them they can do.

Whereas if you were to say, for example, when somebody sends you an email and your auto response back to them is, "Thank you for your email. I check my emails twice a day, once at 10:00 AM, once at 5:00 PM, so please bear with me while I get back to your message. If it is urgent, you can reach me on this number." Now what you will find is that very few people actually pick up the phone and call you because it makes them think whether that message is actually urgent and has to be responded straight away, which in many cases it doesn't.

And so a lot of responsibility does come down to us and the message that we send out to other people, even when we reject or we don't want to say yes to something, how we go about seeing no also influences how we're treated. So if somebody says, "Can you do this? We need you to come and speak at this event. However, Simon, we can't pay you, but you need to speak for 90 minutes." Now if it is something that I don't feel particularly drawn to and I don't want to do, well, I'm not going to make an excuse because what happens when you make an excuse is that you are giving them the permission to come back with a reason why you should.

So if I say, "Well, I can't do that right now because of X, Y, and Z," they'll say, "Well, how about the next talk? How about we do it the next event, you can come down." So what's happening is that you're giving them an excuse to come back with an alternative to try and get you in. So I might simply just say, "First of all, please know how honored I am that you have considered me as a speaker for your event. I don't take that lightly because any referral, recommendation, I am truly grateful for. However, on this occasion I would like to say, no. This doesn't fit with my diary and plans at the moment, but please again, know how appreciative I am that you have considered me for this opportunity."

So when you say it in that way, you've shown gratitude. Again, going back to that concept of gratitude. You're shown gratitude with intention that they have presented you with this opportunity, but you've also communicated that this opportunity is a no. It's a no from you. And you've been clear in that, but you've also done it in a way that respects them but also shows them that you appreciate the fact that they have come to you for that opportunity.

Chris:

Wonderful. Thank you. So next up, and thank you very much for your patience, is David. David, what is your question?

Speaker 17:

Thank you. Thank you, Chris and Simon. It's an honor to speak with you. First, excuse me if I don't speak well. English is not my native language. My question for both of us is in a country where there is a huge of inequality, of opportunities like Mexico, how can I focus on gratitude?

Simon:

Sure. So first of all, thank you so much for the question. So the question was, in a country of such huge inequality such as Mexico, how can I express social gratitudes in that sort of a scenario? So first of all, what I am going to say is all of us, wherever we live in the world will have reasons why we can't experience gratitude. For your question, David, it was because a huge inequality in Mexico. For some other people it might be because of what is going on in the world right now. In Eastern Europe, it might be because of a personal tragedy. In my case where my mom passed away. Regardless of our background, our location, our upbringing, we're all going through some sort of challenges, whether that's personally or within the community or area that we're living in.

Now, I believe that in every situation there is always a positive to take out from a situation. And there are always things to be grateful for, however small. However small. Because what I talk about in the book is this idea of an energetic state, David. And what I mean by this is that in our lives there is no one reality, there are only customized realities. So what I mean by this is because we are living in the feeling of our thinking moment to moment to moment, our interpretation and derivational meaning from an event that creates our reality. So when something occurs in the world or in our life, the way I respond might be very different to the way you respond. But when we know that, we actually unravel a superpower that we all have in the sense that we design our own reality, we bend and shape our own reality by choosing different thoughts.

Now, it's not to say there are not bad things going on in the world or they are no negatives. It's simply to realize that we can choose to focus on what is in our control, because of course there are going to be things that are not in our control. David, for some it could be the political situation. For some it could be what businesses are doing or what's going on in the economy. But if we focus on what we can't control, it's very easy to get paralyzed by overthinking. But when we focus on what we can control, that is where we begin to feel energized. And that is when we begin to feel empowered to take some sort of action.

So I think when there is inequality, going back to your example David, the way that you feel gratitude, it's to look at your own situation, is to look at your own circumstance and asks, "So what can I be grateful for, and how can I use what is in my vicinity to influence some change?" So for example, in my situation, David, like with many people here in the UK, I wish the government could do more for those in society that need the help. I wish they could do more to help those who are below the poverty line. But of course the government can only do so much. So because I'm grateful for the position that I'm in, I'm grateful for what relationships and the network I have, what I decided to do was I joined the community here in London called The Conduit.

Now The Conduit is a members community, but it's about social impact. So it's about bringing people together from a wide spectrum and eclectic industries, from NGOs to sort of investors, to people working in charity right across the sector. And the program is built around the United Nations SDGs, the sustainable development goals. So for me, because I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to create a life that I want and to have the impact I desire, I want to make sure that I give back in my own way. Because as you said, David, there are huge inequalities in the world, in society, within the communities we live in. But if I focus on what I can't control, I'm never going to take any action. If I focus on what I can, then I can start impacting change in my own small way.

And imagine this for a moment, imagine each of us in this room impacts positively the society around us in however small a way, imagine how much we can shift society to a far better place. I hope that helps, David.

Speaker 17:

Yeah, so much. Thank you very much. Chris, thank you so much for all you are and do, my friend. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Simon.

Chris:

Thank you, David. Okay, we're going to move the mic over to Eugene. Eugene, what's your question?

Speaker 18:

Hey gents, how's it going? Simon, I was very interested in this topic as it came up as Chris originally shared it and a friend and myself were just chatting today about energies in general, the transfers of energies, but also more specifically, and this is what I would like you to touch on, but what you feel the differences between good and bad energies are. I know you've chatted about energy drainers, but I think that bad energy is quite an interesting topic, how you would handle that. And then subsequent to that, do you think that good energy and bad energy are created equal or... In my mind, the way that I was kind of viewing it today, I kind of used the example of a little bit of goodness can drive out a lot of darkness. And I was quite interested to hear your thoughts on that, if they're created equal, and also how would you typically deal with bad energies?

Simon:

Well, first of all, Eugene, I mean, so great question. I just want to take a few notes down there. I think one thing to keep in mind about how powerful energy is that energy as a concept and the construct itself is neutral in the sense that the more that we spend time around any particular type of energy, the more of that we become. So for example, when you talk about good and bad energy, the more bad energy you spend time with, without question, you are going to start feeling low on energy yourself. And the same with good energy. So the message from that is energy is infectious, no matter which type of energy you spend time with. So this is why we've got to be very careful about what is good and what is bad energy in our life, and then to manage that.

So if there are situations, if there are people, if there are places that are bad energy for you, then it's our responsibility to limit our exposure to them so that we can spend more time within the field of more positive energy. And that's what can help us feel better about our life. That is what can make us feel more empowered. And for me, ultimately, if I were to define good and bad energy, for me, it's simply love and fear. Love is the highest form of energy that is available on this planet. When you do something you love, when love is present in your life, you find the resources, you find the willpower to get things done.

Think about the first crush you had. Now, when that crush said to you, despite the fact that you had plans already in your diary, that he or she wanted to meet you for coffee or for dinner, one particular evening, what happens? You suddenly are able to clear your diary and then you are able to make whatever your crush has said they want to do with you. Now that is the power of love energy, and it's the same way you talk about a cause. When somebody believes in a cause so strongly, they find the energy to do things they probably would never have done before.

And so at the simplest level, good energy is all about love. Bad energy is all about fear. When we do things in which fear dominates, that is bad energy. And so it's really thinking about how can we expose ourselves more to that good energy, so we are able to express our potential and rip open, if you will, the portal to our hero potential. I hope that helps answer your question, Eugene.

Speaker 18:

It does, and I just love the way you framed it in love and fear because those are the extreme ends of the scale and it really solidifies it for me. The subsequent question of do you think that they're created equal, I'm just quite interested about that.

Simon:

So just to help me, Eugene, what do you mean specifically by are they created equal?

Speaker 18:

In terms of when negative energy does come into your life and you're replacing it with good energy, do you think that a little bit of good, a little bit of love can replace a lot of fear? Or is it much more on a person-by-person basis where it's related to circumstance and upbringing and all those other things?

Simon:

Well, my feeling is that, well, first of all, it is different for each of us, but in many occasions, and you would've seen it in life happen, whether it's in your personal life or read in the news somewhere, that a single act of kindness, a single act of good energy that occurs in your lifetime can overcome the fear, can overcome all that bad energy. There are many stories in which that has happened, whether it is somebody sacrificing their life for somebody else and in an instant that shifts and changes somebody's mind because they've just seen what they've done wrong because someone just sacrificed themself. So very often, a single act of kindness, a single act of good energy, especially unexpected, can literally shift the way we see ourself and the actions that we have taken.

For example, when I grew up Eugene, I've had a very interesting relationship with my father. I mean, my mom until she passed at the age when I was 19, when she was 49, she was the so-called emotional glue of the family. My father was very strict, as I guess most Asian fathers tend to be. And so our relationship was very distant. And so what I decided to do one year of Father's Day because he had moved abroad to Australia, Eugene. What I decided to do is, I knew he wasn't someone that you could have a deep conversation with. He's just not that type of individual. So what I did is I decided to write down in an email why I think he has been such an inspiration to me, what I've learned from him, and just really opened up in that email about our relationship. Because one of the things I've discovered when you do such an activity is that vulnerability is the gateway drug to connection. It deepens that connection. And by being that good sort of energy, the way he received that message was so beautiful, Eugene.

He wrote back and also wrote something which opened him up to me. I'll bite through words, not by voice or talk, but it was through the words where it was his best communication. But by understanding that we were able to suddenly create a lot more good energy in that relationship, but it was simply understanding the best way to communicate to one another in a way that we can both express our feelings, because it was very difficult doing it in normal conversation. But by using a medium that would work for both of us, he had time to digest what I had written, and he had time to then formulate his own response per his feelings and his thoughts onto the email. That in itself, that chain of conversation we had really brought our relationship to a new level.

Speaker 18:

I really appreciate that personal story there. It's really, really touching. The one thing I understand from what you just said now is that, well, the way that I interpret it is that energy is actually equal, but it's the intensity of the energy that changes the situation. Like you were saying with the vulnerability or just the actual act of kindness or love that you are showing, it's the intensity of that that can really mitigate the negative side or the intensity of the negative that can take away from the love. And it definitely goes back to what you were saying right in the beginning of this conversation. So thank you.

Simon:

My pleasure, Eugene, and very well summarized.

Chris:

Thank you very much.

Speaker 18:

Thanks so much.

Chris:

Simon, I wanted to share something about the kind of questions that Eugene was asking about energy and can positive energy combat negative energy and does it have to be done equal force? And I love what you said about that, that a single act of kindness, especially unexpected, can change the course of how we think and the actions that we take. I love that sentiment, and I just want to briefly share. Throughout much of my teenage years, I felt very much an outsider and really just wasn't comfortable with my own skin. And it was the act of a handful of teachers who showed me just the smallest act of kindness that got me through those rough patches.

My teacher, Ms. Karen Newyar, who taught English literature in high school, and she made some exceptions for me, I don't know why she was kind to me or why she gave me that latitude, but her general rule was every class period, if you didn't bring your English lit textbook, which was heavy, you're going to be docked a point. And anybody that didn't bring it was called out and was made sure that, as I said, as an example for the room. And oftentimes I did not bring my book because my backpack was heavy, and she always just on the sly, slid the book over to me, so it was all cool. And just that little gesture, it really just made me feel like I was a person worthy of being loved, and it got me through some rough patches. So a little bit of that kindness that you mentioned, that expression of love, can overcome a lot of fear. So I'm a testament to that.

Simon:

[inaudible 01:18:11]. And what you were sharing just now really reminded me of a Chinese proverb that says, "If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody." And I think it summarizes this universal principle that when you put your energy into service and contribution, energy will flow back to you in the form of empowerment, motivation, and personal fulfillment. And I think what a couple of people have said up here on stage, especially when it comes to gratitude and good and bad energy, is that I think whatever your circumstances are, we all have the ability to create a difference in someone's life, no matter how small. Think about it for a moment. If you're questioning what I just said, there is always somebody who is worse off than you are.

Chris:

Right. So there's a question here that was closely related to David's question. It's coming in from Rachel Black and I'm going to ask it again, and if you want to say it in a different way, that would be wonderful, or you can say it exactly the same way that you said before. But Rachel asked, "How would someone manage their energy if they are in a temporary survival mode, just like having a baby or living in a war zone, et cetera, especially with what's going on in Ukraine right now? What would be essential or some tips for energy management during this kind of time period?

Simon:

Sure. Well, first of all, I think we all go through some sort of temporary survival modes. If I look back, Rachel, to April, 2020, I became a parent for the first time, and while that is a big life event in itself, what made it tougher for me is that because it was April, 2020, this was only a few days after the country here, the United Kingdom went into his first lockdown. And so what that meant is that after my wife gave birth, and it was a C-section delivery, after my wife gave birth, us as partners in the hospital were only allowed to be present in the recovery ward for one hour after the birth of the children.

But the few weeks after that, and given all the restrictions and guidelines there were, that was sort of my own temporary survival mode. And now what I think is essential in those type of moments is just simply to take a step back and to reflect what your new priorities are. Because in moments like that, your priorities will naturally shift. For me, the focus in that moment was making sure that our child was as healthy as she could be. We had everything in place and that we had the numbers of doctors and nurses in case we needed them, which in our case we did within the first few days because we had to take her to hospital after she had a small complication a few days into coming home. And that preparation really helped us, but it's also making sure that we had the buffer in order to focus our energy on that.

So I think the first step really, Rachel, is firstly to understand that there needs to be a shift in priorities when these temporary survival scenarios kick in. And then once you sort of understand the shift in priorities is to make sure you have the time to adjust in the way you need to adjust for them. Again, I'm talking at a high level here because I think when we talk about temporary survival experiences, that can be very different to each of us. But Rachel, I hope that helped.

Chris:

Thank you. Simon, any parting thoughts?

Simon:

Sure. So just related to what I shared just now, Chris, about becoming a father for the first time, and also the fact that we're talking about energy, is when I held my daughter my arms for the very first time, apart from the fact that I was bathing in love in that moment, I was reminded of a fact that many of us forget very easily, and that is the fact that you and I are a miracle. The fact that we were born to experience this gift of life in all of its colors is an absolute miracle. In fact, we have won the greatest lottery there is going, the lottery of life. And the question I would love to leave you on is this, what are you going to do with your winning ticket?

Chris:

Thank you very much, everybody. Have a great day.

Speaker 3:

Thanks for joining us this time. If you haven't already, subscribe to our show on your favorite podcasting app and get a new insightful episode from us every week. The Futur Podcast is hosted by Christ Do and produced by me. Greg Gunn. Thank you to Anthony Barrow for editing and mixing this episode. And thank you to Adam Sanborn for our intro music.

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