Building Self Confidence

My question is when you're ina first time meet and greetwith a client and you know, it'sthis was a situation this week,it's for a campaign for a mayorand basically the mayor says,OK, this is exactlywhat he said.He says, I havemy side business,I have a landscape company andI have a big landscaping jobthat's coming to me and I can.But it's way over my head,so it's mind if I want it,but I have to realizeif I want it or not.And so basically, he was askingus, do you want this job?Might be way over your head?Can you handle?Yeah, you may.That's it.Do you have a question?Well, what I'm saying is,OK, I guess the questionyou see is that's a question.Well?you know, the programmersare certainly OK.How do you giveconfidence to the clientthat you can handle theirclient their project.OK how do you win confidence?Priscilla, in normal life,how do you win confidence?How do you gain confidence?How do you project confidence?How are you confident?All right.That's that's one of themindset I'm trying to work onbecause I'm notalways very confident,but I've always delivered,so I always figure it outand we'll, you knowwell, and in this case,we hire the specialist weneed when we need them.That's why we're nimble.Let's look into your life.Look at all the people,you know, friends, family,teachers, mentors, colleagues,coworkers, clients,what traits do confidentpeople exhibit?Affirmation they'revery sure of themselves.Yes, they are sureof themselves.And how do you know that?Just the order they would take.It's hard to create aura, right?It's hard to pin down aura.Can you give me somethingthat you can recognize?And somebodyeverybody can jump inas long as you're on thetopic, you jump in here.I've found just in this arenaof like instilling confidence,I've started from zero, soand I have no portfolio,so I don't have anythingthat you typically have.But I've been ableto instill confidencein the clients that I havegotten so far and conversationsthat I've had by justasking questions.They're just soimpressed that I digand that I find the realquestion or the real problemthat they're like, yeah, yeah,we want to work with you.What's that look like?So I'm like, I'ma little puzzledabout like, why it's aproblem, because that'show I've just been doing it.So, yeah, that's all Ihave to really add in,but just it's been justabout asking the questions.I don't even have the smartestthings to say all the time.It's just it's just been willingto ask the questions, I guess.I don't know.I'd like to bringsomebody online.I want to ask Claire.Claire, can youweigh in on this?You have a lot of smartthings to say, Claire.Well, you know, partof it for me is reallyallowing myself to feel thatthe person wants me to do well,you know, wants meto serve them well.So I have a practiceof just letting myselfbe supported by their support.Because, you know,trying to act confident.It's kind of like an outsidein approach and for me.Confidence comes from justtrusting, just trustingthat I can help them, trustingthat I can Intuit whatthey need and trusting that.Trusting that.Well, I really it's a faiththing to it's faith and trust,you know, and and Ithink too part of itis just doing it and then doingit again and then doing itagain and just beingable to receiveyour own appreciation for,wow, I really did that well.I didn't do it perfect,but I did it well enoughthat they were well served.I'm making some noteshere, I'm listening,OK, thank you very much, Claire.I just put you on the spot.OK, let me just try.I do appreciate thatyou're such a good sport.OK, let's try another person.Anybody else want to say ifyou think about the people whoare confident?And you don't even haveto really know them,just the people you assumeto be really confident.Yeah, I will think of peopleI've talked to most seems to mevery confident.How does he do it?Who?Mo Mo.Ok?OK.And what do you observe?Mo don't say anything.Oh, well, he seems.Well, first of all, he's veryarticulate and he speaks.He seems to speakhis mind, honestly.So he's honest, yeah,and I want to say,actually, Rachelsounds confident, too.And what does she do?Same thing.They're both well articulatedand speak clearly.OK but then I want toask them, have they everhad somebody ask aquestion and that Idon't know what's theexpression in Englishthat you get knockedoff your horse basicallywhere you're like, oh,caught off guard, right?Well, Moe andRachel, have you guysbeen knocked off your horse andwe're going to talk to zach?Oh yes, Oh Yes.But the main thing isI just in that example,I just don't get on the horse.I just don't have that the.For me, when I've experiencedthat in my life, wherea question takes meby surprise, it'sbecause I've triedto position myselfas if I'm I have somethingto bring to the table like,you know, I'm expectedto bring something hereand then I get anunexpected question.Then it's like, oh, no, it'schallenging this positionI've tried to craft for myself.So lately I've just beencoming as more of justlike being honest,like if I get like,I don't probablydo this perfectly,but I've beentrying to practice.If I get an unexpectedquestion to go, oh, well,that's an interesting question.Like either I don't know or justbeing completely OK with beinghumble and honest.And you know what?I may not know theanswer to that question,but I'm pretty sureI know somebody.I could ask that kind of thing.It's just like not expectingmyself to always havethe perfect answer.OK, but what wouldyou answer to?Can you handle this job?Is it in your bandwidth?Um, I might just behonest and be like,you know what, I've not everdone something like thisbefore.And if they stillwant me to do itbecause they likeme for some reason,then we would have aconversation about that.But I would be.I know people who would,who always say, yeah,I can totally do it, andthey fall flat sometimes,and they disappoint clientsand they burn a lot of bridges.So I just don't liketo operate that way.So I'm just honest.So let me jump in here.Let me just help you guyswith a way to phrase that.So if the clientthrows that at you,Priscilla asked me that onemore time or say that objectionone more time.Do you have enough bandwidthto take this project on?I don't know.Do you are you concerned thatI don't have enough bandwidth?Yes it seems like it'sjust the two of youand you hire here and there,but this is a big campaign.How many people do youthink needs to work on this?I'm not sure yet.We will have tothink about it, but Iknow it's a large project,it's not just the brochure.So it's a large projectsneed large teams.I would think so,yes, because there'sa lot of work to be done.And are you better servedby having lots of peoplework on it?In a sense, I wouldfeel confidenceto know there is awhole team behind.Are you willing to pay for that?Yes, I mean, this ispublic money, but Yes.OK so, you know, it'snot too, is it 20?We haven't discussed budget yet.We were just doinga meet and greet.No, no, I wasn'ttalking my budget.I was just saying, you'reuncomfortable with two peopleworking.I'm asking, are you comfortablewith where a team of 20?I would think so, Yes.OK, so I'm just curious,did we were a small companybefore you call this?No, I didn't know anything aboutyou, because this other I lovethat you look atour work and youassumed it was done by a lot ofpeople, now you're surprised.Yes so maybe.It doesn't matter.What doesn't matter whatthe size of the team?Yeah you call this right.We're having thisconversation because you'veseen work that you thoughtan army of people made.Mm-hmm In fact, two people.Could do the work of 20.Well, not really, but I see whatyou're saying to people cannotdo the work of 20, but if twopeople have access to a two,people can do the work of 20when they're the right twopeople, how many surgeons do youwant to operate on your body?Oh, Yeah.Depends what I'm doing when weget into the patterns you see.Mm-hmm But if youdon't feel comfortableworking with two people, I havea couple of options for you.I can send you areally high bid.I'll hire 18 more people.The two of us will do it and theother 18 will watch us do it.Or you can justhire somebody else.Well, that's whatwe're interviewingdifferent companies, sowe're trying to gauge,so I'm trying to gauge your.Yeah, if you canhandle this or not.Yeah, we might not be agood fit for each other.Christie alwaysturned jobs down.Well, becauseyou're being a jerk,you're beinginconsistent, presumptuousjerk, who's not logical.I don't want to workwith people like that.I mean, you literally said Ithought you were much bigger.I liked your work and Itold you this to people.And then now you wantto tell me how to do it.How is it that I wantto work with you?I don't even want to do anothercall with you, let alone workwith you.that's how youreclaim your power,you just give itup all the time.You just give it up.Wow, OK.Right so I mustsurrender myself.Hold on, hold.I'm going to say this,OK, because I wrote ita little note here.I think I'm confident.And I'm trying to likemap, like, what am Idoing in my mind, right?To see if I can translatethis to you guys?I think what I dois I just surrender.I have nothing to prove to you.So every time you tryto make me prove myself,I make you prove yourself to me.When you're not when you're ina meet and greet with potentialsthat you presentthe best of yourselfif you're alreadyembarrassing myself.But you see myself as me, flawedand angry and opinionated.That's me.But you're ready.But you're always sayingfine, and we're notgood to work with you.Oh, you said that?Not me.I just told you whatyou said back to me.Yeah well, we like towork with 20 peoplebecause you're obviouslytoo small to handle this.Even though I likeyou all your workthat you've done in everyclient you've ever worked with.It's two people.I like to have the ideabecause my ego is suchthat I need lots ofpeople moving around,so I feel important.Well, I don't think we'rea good fit then, right,that's what you're saying.No, no, no, Chris,I'm really sorry,I really love yourwork, actually,two people are amazing.Now I'm seeing thatyou don't need an army,you just need the Navy SEALTeam and they'll do the job.Oh, OK, then wecan work together.I have yet to I mean,it's a dumb idea.You guys, it's a really dumbidea that bigger is better.That more is better.You want more chocolate or youjust want premium chocolate,you want cases of wine orjust the best bottle of wine.What do you want?You want a ton of landin the desert somewhereor you want that premiumspot by the ocean.Your logic makes nosense to me, client.But isn't that a typicalclient idea, not the clientsI talked to.OK, we'll put us, putyourself in our shoes.I am putting myselfin your shoes.I'm telling you what to do.What you do is you bend,you break instantly.I don't bend like that.You're telling us yourclients all the time,I'm like, goodbye.You know, torture somebody elseso that they can torture you.You know, that's notgood for your health.It really isn't.So the minute you start to bea little bit more assertive,you'll see things change.I'm not for some fool totell me that I'm good.I'm self validated.If you asked me a question.I don't know the answer to,I just say, I don't know.I don't know.Why is that a problem?Is it a problem?So self confidence comesfrom assertiveness.No, it comes fromknowing who you areand knowing what you'regoing to wear, you will bendand where you want.I know who I am.I'm comfortable in my own skin.Some fool can tell me I'm great.I'm like, whatever.Some fool can tellme you're horrible.I will say whatever.I know what I am.To you.I think I do.Do you?So why do you let the clientspull you left and right?If you have that strong anchor,the tides cannot pull you.I'm building thatself-confidence, I'm just not,I guess I'm baby, I should reada book, I once you read a book,it's called the powerof self confidence.It's written by Brian Tracy.OK, Rita, today the power ofself-confidence by Brian Tracy.I'll drop you guysmy Amazon link.Do you want to use it?I don't care.It's like 4% OK, OK, all right.I'm going to lower your hand.Yes, you are going to comeon our show, are you ready?Well, obviously, my stupidmic doesn't work, so not yet.Well, you can test it beforethe show, I did, and it worked.I don't I don't thinkso, so I'm working on it.I would refer you to thestep three or the step twois test and validate.Well, I tried to, but Ihave patience, obviously.Don't try.There's just do I knowI'm working on it?Let's put it this way.Building up to it.