The Secret to Winning at Life

my guest today is Elisa Galea and I've met her in Australia and it was really neat just connecting because sometimes you meet people online you're not quite sure what to expect when they're in person and she's a ball of energy radiating positive energy and there's a bunch of things that she wants to talk about today so I'm gonna just shut up and hand the show over to you what are we talking about but before we do that Lisa why don't you introduce yourself thank you Chris hi everybody I am Lisa Galia and I'm a creative Alchemist I help people get what they want by using Behavioral Science and 30 years worth of design thinking and working in the advertising industry I really love what I do and I love helping people I help out the future as a business mentor and I work with the Australian government doing their leadership and Mentor program as well and it really gives me great joy when people win their goals and then I get to celebrate as well so that's one of my favorite things to do so today we are talking about winning goals and actually achieving what we want to do in life when I first got married I looked around in my house and I was I loved it it was a little 70s old kitchen and as I looked around I was like this is exactly what I imagined it was like my student little house and I had a second hand couch and I painted the kitchen it had a pretty cute Garden but as I did sit there I remember thinking you better imagine a better house next time since then I've been married for 25 years and we have found a few houses but I've never looked for a house I get really clear what I want and it seemed to just come my way I have got people who spend weekends looking for impossible houses they tell me is impossible to find one but they still keep going out there looking every weekend but for me everything when I've been really clear what I want has actually become available for me so today I wanted to talk to you about people achieving their goals because of all the coaching I do and because of all the things I do I'm seeing the mindset and I've Just Seen hundreds of people now and I really feel there's something we need to shift as a society so we all feel like winners I did have a dream that one where I'm at now I found my purpose as a 50 year old person and my dream is to find a place a new property where when I got old I could have other people come and share my chickens and my eggs and my honey and it would just be a place where people could come and fill their cups and I could teach from and that was really what I wanted we've got a caravan so we'd searched around and we looked at all the different areas and I realized it was a lot of money so I sort of put that on the back burner and was like okay cool that is what I want let's keep moving because you need a big deposit before the bank's gonna lend you money for that then last Christmas suddenly it became available to me so welcome to my new century and it's a new adventure for me and sometimes in life we go round in circles and I think there is no destination we're always learning and sometimes people forget that when they're doing their goals I have actually found exactly what I wanted five minute goal group with um people and one of the ladies I know when I found this property she looked to me and she goes she was in Mexico and she goes I don't know what you do because you do a lot of stuff but I do know when I met you you said you wanted a property where you danced along the river naked and no one saw you and you're obviously very good at getting what you want and I laugh because I think when I said naked I meant like just in my mind freeness I didn't actually mean that my husband was a bit disappointed when we arrived but I'm very happy now to be I have this place and start this new adventure and I want everyone to get positive and start winning their goals it is pretty magic here so I just thought I'd show you guys that I've got my river and I've got my birds and animals and I work in pretty much magic so knowledge is power I think that's the most important thing through my journey I'm fascinated with the human mind and once you start understanding your own system you can start working with the system instead of against it I think people are fighting the system and that's why it's so hard I don't think it has to be hard I think it's all about how you think about it effort is not the same as hard effort means you're putting energy in but you can enjoy that you can have fun you can when I've climbed I've done a lot of tracking you can sing at the last beat that's why people march when soldiers are together because you can change your attitude while you're doing the task but I want you to feel in control of your destiny I think it's super important that you do feel in control I know psychologically that is really the key thing not actually having what you want is actually feeling like you're you're in charge when you're riding this journey of Life as a species I do believe we have some big problems everything's evolving so quickly and we need to do some catch up we've got some big problems to solve some of them I don't think we even know what they are yet but I know that if we work together and if we actually do community like communicate we've got the most amazing internet the first time the way we can communicate together it just blows my mind and I think that the information we have will just be exponentially expanded because we're joining all these marvelous Minds together in the world which is so cool we're going to be able to solve whatever problem we have but first of all we need to start winning our own goals before we can lead people before we can actually help other people do things we have to be able to lead ourselves and when I started Googling about goals at the beginning of the new year it just didn't look that good it didn't look like people really did achieve goals had smart goals had everything there but basically it was a very small percentage a huge fan of percentages because I think they're made up depending on what people want to look at but it was like six percent if you were lucky actually got their goals and all over the world to be honest we were not happy humans I don't think our government systems um it needs to evolve our education systems like Dead Poet Society there's a lot of things we need to actually get into and change because technology is moving so fast and we've been given all these diverse marvelous Minds so we can evolve and we can win so let's get on it guys so we can actually do this all together your marvelous mind Supreme is pretty mental how our mind works we still don't really know like hardly anything but what is interesting it's only been the last maybe six years that we've actually started to be able to really measure what's going on in our mind and it's crazy how how it works in the future the technology well as we're seeing now the new AI is based on one of the processes they found of how our brain works from two years old we then start doing learned learning just from what we're doing so they fed into the AI up to two but our brain is just amazing it can do so many different things it can solve problems we haven't even imagined yet it took us to outer space it's taken us to design spectaculars all over the world you've seen the pyramids so many crazy things we've built over our period of time here from caveman we have now built our own metaverse so it is pretty cool what we can do there are no limits with this machine just so you get a little tiny little idea just in one millimeter so it's just that small one tiny cubic millimeter there's 20 times more connections than human beings all over our planet little one there's like 20 times the amount of people that are on the Earth so it's pretty crazy it's the most powerful machine you could ever imagine those of you who's stressing about AI like you don't have to stress because you can't even see the tiny little dot I put on the slide there if I actually did a size comparison because it got ridiculous but it's that small what it can do it's 0.5 of our processing power ours is like the size of a small Pumpkin like a cauliflower the AI would be lucky if it was the size of the cricket I did actually find a cricket here in Australia but it was so big it was actually way bigger than a um way bigger than an ai's brain I thought it might freak you all out if I started holding giant insects so the human brain is a pretty amazing complex thing so that's what I want you to know we can do anything guys I really want you to start believing that so why have we got this amazing mind I go on smart goals do this do that why are we not achieving our goals what is it I listen to what people say and I would say most people are not achieving their goals because they have no idea what they want so if we can't get what we want if we don't actually know they are often like give this delusional future like when they're imagining it it's like they suddenly control the humans other people change personality in their Futures it's not just them who change is everyone around them treats them differently which is never going to happen you can only control you and it's it's really quite delusional sometimes the you know I love dreaming big I believe in magic it's cool but when you are actually setting a goal it's not a dream it's actually I'm going to achieve this or I want to do this you've really got to look at the numbers and think yeah well if you're only earning a thousand dollars now you're not going to be earning a million by the year unless you've got you've got to find the solution our brain it's not magic I mean it was one thing the secret left out and it's like you do have to get clear on what you want that's really important our brain used to know that but there's a little secret the secret left out the secret is action is the key to anything so it's so important that we really take action as we move through anything in the world is how the whole system works oh to me it goes getting what you want it really it says online you know the object of a person's ambition or effort the aim or the desired result for me when I said a go I really want to get it it's like getting what you want is the reason I said a goal so let's get on it and find out how do we get what we want well curiosity is key my friends Sherlock Holmes Einstein the bush Hunters of the Kalahari they all had one thing in common they're all curious they use that Curiosity to drive their success we are learning machines if you think from when we're born we're given the most primitive the most primitive system and from that we go on to do the most amazing things I mean Einstein solved so many things so many different things because of his insatiable desire to know what was actually going on around us your brain will have changed by the end of this little talk it is so cool it's actually a live wire and that is the most amazing thing about our brains it continues to be a live wire our whole lives it's almost like a city that's evolving like New York and it just keeps growing and growing as we need the different areas when you don't use those areas it's like just like muscles you don't use it you lose it so really guys keep on learning new things keep being curious keep making that brain work for you it's making new connections it's like a live wire of communication networks like tree roots sending connections to each other and making it all work it's like if you zoomed in it's like a little tentacles talking and bumping and sending little signals to each other it's very cool but before I start today I wanted you to listen and I'm going to tell you a story I'm just giving you this warning because I cry very easily so do not panic it does happen at Hallmark ads it happens when I watch The Voice I'm an emotional human so I just wanted to let you know because sometimes it does freak you out so don't leave the building the show Will Go On I will move through it once upon a time there was a young girl and she was born in London and she was loved by her family and they wanted her to have everything that they hadn't had growing up they traveled all over the world visited different countries and she got to experience so many different perspectives of lives she was blessed to have a rich tapestry of colors mixing with all different types of people and it gave her confidence to be in all different types of situations she traveled from London to the Middle East and she experienced Golds and riches Beyond Your Wildest imagination a world completely covered in sand with silks and servants and chic's palaces but she also experienced the other side of life where she saw corruption and beautiful countries with problems and different things going on poverty and violence which was such a massive contrast to all the different places she'd been she traveled to Europe Australia and she found the happiest place on earth built by one of the most amazing thinkers Walt Disney there's a nod bump in the road as she did her early years in life but she was mostly full of fun and confident in her ability to solve problems she had a good sense of adventure and curiosity and she always managed to thrive she grew up blessed to know she was loved and she had a belief in magic and she thought that dreams would come true did she have goals I'm not really think so not in those early years there was moments when she wasn't really living into her values but she would really just exploring evolving something I do highly recommend people do in your early twenties because there's things you can do at that age that are not acceptable later on in life so go have fun then and explore and find out even more about yourself but back to the story of this little girl she did have a belief a very strong belief they had been implanted from a very early age at some point should get married she'd have her dream job and her dream house two kids and the dog and she would live her happy ever after she did find her prince charming she kissed him and he turned into a frog and together they started a family and I lived in the forest and they had children and pets and animals everywhere life was good and it was a lot of love but life doesn't always stay as you plan and things started to change when her daughter went to school fingers started pointing and people started saying things were wrong without realizing it she started to follow this path of wrongness and she entered a dark Forest she'd entered this maze full of judgment and blame and fear and there was witches and goblins they didn't like anything different they pushed her and they poked her and they tried to get to the child sometimes attacking when they found her unguarded but they were really afraid when things went the same as them she fought back with all her might her daughter fought but these people had found a new weapon they worked out how to hurt people anonymously and they were hidden while they heard others so it was a useless battle some people tried to help them but then they turned away it just made them feel useless and uncomfortable they could see it was destroying lives and everything started spiraling and spiraling and spiraling around her everywhere she looked she could see pain and hurt and she started losing her family as she went deeper and deeper into the darkness her child could sing like an angel and her voice LED these people to them eventually they found the child and they attacked her and stole her voice away she then was so lost she was so broken from writing she just curled up in a ball it was enough she'd hit rock bottom she'd just been attacked too much she couldn't fight anymore she kept looking for help she was afraid of the future she didn't know what would come next all she was was in looking around she was immobilized in fear eventually she fell asleep and as she fell asleep she dreamed of all the what-ifs that might be all the things that might happen as she went ahead she just became in a Amnesia of powerless she couldn't make any changes because the outside world everything looked okay no one could see what was going on she fought and fought to make sure that was okay but inside she was broken she was asleep and in this turmoil of going round and round with nothing changing no power just feeling the attack and just being on alert but not making any moves in life she looked around looking for people she looked for the White Knight who was come and save her but there was nothing there there was no one coming to save her she didn't know what she was going to do she was just there on her own she was asleep she heard the wind whispering to her and it woke her up and there was a lady there and the lady just said it's time it's time you are the only person who can do this it's time to take your first steps and so she did she had no idea how she was going to solve the problem she had no idea where she was going but doing nothing was getting her nowhere so she took that first step and as she did she started to feel some light as she did she started to feel in control she turned around and she looked at the lady to say thank you and the lady just held out her hand and gave her a hug she brought her in tight and as they broke away she gave her three crystals three amazing things that she realized would give her what she needed to move forward on her journey ahead Life's a roller coaster my friend you don't get to control the ups and downs it's not something we actually get to control but you do have a choice you have a choice on how you react to the right some people choose to close their eyes and just sit there and just wish it was all over and when they get off occasionally they even vomit it's just so much held inside them I'm not someone who's like that I choose to jump on board and wipe my arms in the air and enjoy every moment and that means the ups and downs but I do know that's the only thing I can do I choose to wave my arms and have fun I'm pretty certain if you're not enjoying the ride and you're not having fun you're doing something wrong but how about you I'm gonna go over the three gems that I found for you obviously that was my story and it's just so much easier for me to turn out as a fairy tale I do believe in magic and it's something I've believed in since I was 10 years old I might have a slight problem with the amount of things I've collected but it's something that gives me joy and it's something that fills my cup so I want today to tell you the three things a quick overview of the science I'm going to make this as simple as I can and I'm going to tell you the actions and hacks that you need to take over your operating system I'm not going to leave you with a list of tasks and things to do more goals that you've not achieved because your time's precious but I want you to start on a path that will give you back more time more choice and not more things to do I've created a checklist and that will be in the links below and that will give you a start as we go through if there's lots of reasons different reasons for everyone we've all got different Minds with Marvels but go through this list and you'll know what areas you need to work on things that maybe you need to just take a little check on and there is some exercises there if you think oh yep I've put some exercises there that you can try and start exploring so you can get on this pathway but do get in touch if you want to on social media you'll find me there if you've got any questions I'm a very friendly human get curious and let's enjoy the adventure not hard I aim to really show you how once you understand your system you don't have to make it this hard I see people on Instagram they're like it's hard it's hard you gotta fight yeah there is times where it feels tough there's times where you've got to move through but you don't have to feel like you're fighting the whole time let's get ready to level up are you ready to play and have some fun let's do this no matter where you are in your journey nothing happens without action that is key nothing happens in our world without an exchange of energy so where are you now I want you to relax and you don't even need to stress it's really cool if you're just listening in and doodling don't think about the brain science stuff I'm going to tell you just if you could write down what your current goals are that would be really cool because it will just actually give you that opportunity to compare the perspective once you've heard this and maybe change what you're going to do to start winning those goals just start paying attention and see how knowing this knowledge can change that for you and give you a new perspective so the first thing I want to talk about is a Talisman of security this was the thing she gave me it was an anchor an anchor is something that allows you to be still when you're in a storm it allows you to be safe which is what we need to do if we want to achieve our goals we've got to feel safe in the beginning no matter what's going on around us we have to be firm and strong and that's when an anchor helps us do in Behavioral Science it helps us in so many other things you can really use it as a trick to hack yourself another people we anchor very easily it's a tool we use as humans but it's something that once you're aware of and you can use is so powerful in being able to control Where You Are so the first most important thing if you want to achieve your goals is to look around where you're at now where are you are you set up for Success we've really got to look at our energy and what we're doing so we're going to just talk about really quickly what about it energy what is actually things we need to do sense and also um what else is really important for us to have this ecosystem ready for us one of the things when I have this light bulb moment and I've actually got these duels I actually did make it a Healer someone I never expected in life to me it wasn't someone I expected I was really I was really lost and I met a friend and she said how are you and basically I just burst into tears I don't think anyone had asked me and it was like I not good my friend not good and she sent me to see this woman Emery she had feathers in her hair and dreadlocks and she was like a full she was trained by Indian American people but at this point I was like cool I'll go see this lady I don't know when I saw her she explained my energy was just too low she said you're not going to achieve anything at the moment until you start actually filling your cup up and get your energy raised and when she said that and she was like you know with all computers she wasn't a big fan and I suddenly just had this moment where all the dots joined together everything connected like a genetics at Uni which I really thought was useless and I've studied about my daughter learning about all different types of neurodiverse brains which at the time you know there was effort it was effort and it and I've been through things I wouldn't wish on other humans through that Journey but all the little things that I had no idea why I'd learned them suddenly it just all came together and I realized this picture was like I'm made of energy I'm made of cells of course I am like how ridiculous of course I've known this all along basically I'm the same as nature all the elements in life is what I'm made of cells vibrating and it was really like oh yeah of course I'm cells vibrating and it just made me think oh what are you doing what are you doing with those cells I mean all we are is just some is a mass of atoms and there's just frequencies and chemical hormones moving around there it just was like this light bulb moment when I realized everything I had actually was going into this molecule system and this vibrating energy and I really realized like woof I had no energy I was like no wonder you don't have any energy I was you know too busy just like when I'm talking to people with girls when people ask me what did I how are you how are you doing how are you Lisa how you going to be I'm so busy so busy I'm busy I'm busy got five businesses me I'm a I'm a and I realized that was my life that was what she got on my plate that's what my word said I was busy our brain is this like amazing thing it's only two percent of our body weight but it actually takes hugees huge amounts of energy in comparison 20 of like our energy goes to this two percent so it's really important I realized to feed our brain like how how many of us are going on a journey trying to make changes are we not prepared we wouldn't try to drive to the top of Australia without petrol hour tank we wouldn't not ask questions we wouldn't ask people for help because we didn't know the way we would go I want to find out as much as I can about this journey so I'm prepared but with my own body I just basically completely ignored that and my vibrations were low so the first thing I needed to do was start actually looking after that because no one's going to get there but you're not going to get there unless your body is ready The Company You Keep matters as well because they're vibrating energy and you're wasting your energy I've noticed with a lot of people I meet I hear them speaking also on Instagram and I hear them in different places they're wasting so much energy thinking about what other people are thinking what are they doing and even when they're with other humans they're thinking about what the other humans thinking about and if they actually paid attention and watched and listened they'd know but they miss all that information because they're monkey mind's so busy but you want to find people where you belong you want to find people I think when you try to fit in which is I think one of the reasons I got lost you're trying to fit in and prove to all these other people that you're okay but when you're actually where you belong you don't have to do that and you don't have to have those barriers up because you're trying to fit in you actually get to let them down and not waste that energy find people who raise you up find people when you leave them you feel good not people who when you leave them you feel find really where you belong I've found just being when you're in like a community like the program it's just it's so cool when you see other people doing stuff it gives you that extra drive you need you think they're doing it so can I and then you see them doing even bigger things better things and your brain goes I've never even thought of doing that how am I going to solve that problem wow how could I do that and that is happening because of the people you're with there's other people who have a very different perspective of the world over the last couple of years I have had to protect my energy because some people it's not you just go ugh I don't need that I don't listen to those sort of things so it was this real thing of everything's energy for me and I really even with food like I said I thought oh my goodness I started actually seeing like Doritos in these huge I can't even imagine what the chemical symbol looks like with that but I didn't know it was way too big and I didn't want that in my body I actually started giving me joy when I take things off a tree I realize they're actually vibrating that's why we need to eat fresh food because at that point that food's alive it's growing and it's vibrating as well and I checked I've measured yes it does raise your energy just from eating those Foods it does raise the vibrational level of your body so it's really cool and for me it was just a game changer because suddenly I was like it wasn't a deprivation to not eat food it was actually well why would I want to put that in my body I think I actually went a little bit too extreme as you do when you first start changing things in life and it was almost like I was like I can't even put that stuff in my body but once your body is actually like under control I find now I can eat whatever I want I don't want to be deprived of anything if I want it but I do pay attention to what my body reacts because we're all different so it's about seeing what reacts well with your body so you are molecules and it's really important you pay attention to that so take action how can you actually use this information to move your system forward you want to start rebooting your system guys just like your phone my mum comes in and gets my phone's not working Lisa it's not working and I'm like have you turned it on and off earphones overloaded because you've not turned it off for two three weeks are you turning off your brain because like I said it's the most powerful system it needs to be rebooted occasionally that's why medication and meditation is so good but I don't care what you do as long as in the day you take breaks and just think about it switch it up turn off your machine also the sense model is like pretty obvious stuff and I've actually put it um or be on my website if you do want to download it is about brain Fitness and looking after your brain how to look after it properly I'm not going to go through that because I think most of us know that we need to eat properly but I do want you to remember that you are nature you don't make fruit you don't we can have plants inside it's cool but we wouldn't expect them to make fruit we wouldn't expect them to have flowers and Blossom because they're not going to thrive inside they need sunlight and sunlight gives us vitamins so we need to connect connecting with humans all of this builds stuff that makes our system Thrive and it's part of what we need you must drink water we're made of water at two o'clock in the afternoon a game changer for me is to have water and some glucose because I now know my brain is was having an afternoon fogs and really getting nothing done all afternoon even though I was doing stuff and thought I was busy because my brain actually once you go into dehydrated mode you just go into I'm not really going to function I'm in habit mode here just from sweating actually can put you in like a temporary 10-year aged just one hour of sweating so reboot recharge keep repeating and look after your system you are nature but do dream because you're made of the Stardust we are all sharing everything it is a cliche we're made of Stardust but just remember one accentual system we're all together in this and go get lucky because if we don't take action you won't and if you remember when you're a but in your teenage years or and you'd be like I'm gonna where are you going tonight say to my kids and they'll be like I don't know well we just thought we just see what happens we get lucky we didn't know what was going to happen we know how the evening was going to turn out we just were prepared for event room we're up for that and on that adventure fun random stuff's happened and people sometimes say oh you guys are so lucky and it's like yeah because we actually do stuff and we move around we actually take action we're not sure what's coming up like I said life's not controlling but I promise you it won't happen if you're sitting in the bedroom watching telly so let's get going guys and let's all get lucky tonight how do you do that do you look inside yourself you get clear on your purpose that is why everyone is so going on about it because our system is actually run by this so we need to actually get ready to be open-minded we need to actually know if we don't open our mind and we're not willing to change it we won't learn the subconscious brain is the most important thing here it is actually driving it's 95 percent actually some scientists say up to 98 is driving the system so it's so important that you understand that not your logical mind the system that's making all the decisions of running the show is actually the system one and that is your subconscious mind and your logical Minds two to five percent of what's going on here and the reason we have emotions the reason we have all these things is to send messages to the systems there's no reason we just have these different moods and things and that actually is what tells the system which is living in it's really weird when you start thinking about it too much but it's super important that you do have your compass point in the right direction your belief system is what actually has a huge impact on your everyday from the way you react to people and the way you interact with your whole ecosystem so it's controlled by your fundamental beliefs before I actually went on this journey I'd always had a weight problem I'd gone up and down up and down my whole life and after I started taking back control and thinking why is this I mean I and I go down there and then I come back up to over 80 I'd been over 100 kilos and I just started thinking about what do I believe about this and I realized in my brain I was a big girl in my brain I was big but as an adult I look back and realize oh I'm big because my mum's tiny she's only five foot I'm not big compared to me and one of the gifts of children is you get to look at their bodies and it's a reflection of you and you're like what I wish I knew I looked like that when I was 18 I wouldn't have been hiding in a tent I would have been like celebrating and running around in a diamante g-string it's like gorgeous but our silly brain has these weird things that trips us out so I want to make sure that you are pointing in the right direction because that belief is important that is what shaping your reality so even though you might tell everybody what you want you keep saying all these things unless you believe it you're gonna get nothing if you think about you know and you wanna new car something it's everywhere this is this brain thing suddenly we see all these opportunities when you're on a car when I was pregnant and I was trying to get pregnant the whole world was full of pregnant people and to be honest I haven't seen a pregnant person for maybe 10 years I don't know where they all went but at one point they were everywhere every shopping center I went into with prams and families when I wanted a mini something everyone drove a mini now I don't think that happened because of me I think the filter opened up that's what I know happened we filter our thoughts because imagine all the information that's going on in the world it's like huge is with neurodiverse brains there's so much information in there sometimes that filter is not working and that's why it's so overwhelming but we have to be aware that filter is actually based on our belief that's what chooses what comes in our brain just takes in and makes the best decision available with all the information we have so putting good information but be aware of what you're filtering out change your focus because you're looking our brain doesn't want you to do different things we don't want to waste energy so it's actually just looking for evidence that supports your beliefs that's what its job is show you you're right and then help you find what you're looking to find but it's not good enough to know what you want with goals I realize you've got to know why you've got to do that so there's all those exercises everywhere out there go have a think about do you know why you want this so many times I'm like I want to be like Mike I want to be like Chris I want what she's having there's no attachment guys you can't actually have a touch when you don't know what Chris is like is like you're just seeing one part of his life imagine yourself there I was actually coaching someone last week and got like the sick of work and they wanted to do stuff and I mentioned the community and they were like yes that's what I want to do is have a community I'm going to do this it's going to be excellent and I was like cool you want to be doing that five days a week you know you're probably going to have a team of maybe seven to eight people you're organizing and touching base and all these people will be hassling you every single day in a list I couldn't bear to have that as a community personally it's cool for other peoples you've got to really think about what you want because that's why you don't get it it's really why because your subconscious brain is not silly it's not like your logical brain doesn't think all these crazy things it actually looks and goes well you don't really want that because that's silly we know that is it it's also just so much of a waste of energy when you're trying to guess what's going on in other people's minds look internally yourself instead of wasting time on them no it's not what you want it's no way you want it what is the driver and guys I really want you to think about that I'm not talking I'm going to be happy I want money because it's really not enough when you think about those emotions it's like what do I want security do I want to feel good do I want people to do I want a community so people look at me it's okay whatever you want there's no wrong answers here but know why you want it because that's the only way you're going to get it our brain is there to solve problems for us but it can't solve problems if you're General like whether you said I want a car it's not going to show you one part or is it it's like you're suddenly you don't see yellow cars you say yellow cars because you're specific you don't see oh I want a car that's why you don't get what you want because it doesn't actually know what to look for it's pretty easy to get clear think differently that's what you need to do now I also realized why did I get lost I've never before got lost I'd achieved my goals I was actually I've never gone through that judgment and pain before people pretty much like me before I'm I'd fitted in actually I was very good at fitting in I think for moving around so much but what I think happened instead of focusing on what I wanted and what I was doing in my life I started getting focused on judging other people blaming other people looking and my filter became open for fear open for attack and to be honest that's all I saw I just saw that everywhere around me and when I decided to change I got online because I was pretty anti-social meter at this point and I just I had decided I'd already killed myself in real life before I jumped in there and I said I was seeing kind people I decided I want to see kind people in the world and since then like I was doing Papua New Guinea I do the leadership program I see kind people everywhere and I've met the kindest humans everywhere it's pretty cool like the people on the internet are like this huge connection with people I want to travel around the world just have a Love Fest hug everybody because I've made such beautiful connections there something I never expected because my filter was like this is terrible whenever I went in there before that's what I saw was evidence that I was right this was not the right thing that we were connecting in this crazy way and now I've realized it's an amazing thing because we can share our minds and we can find people where we belong we can do all these cool things so quickly it saved us in the last couple of years because civilizations do get destroyed but we have this amazing tool that we've built that we can use and it's cool it's new guys we're learning that's what I realize we're learning with it but it's pretty exciting it's not something like before I thought was so terrible and there is this horrible thing situation we do whatever we could to escape it that's what people think they'll do but the truth is unfortunately when you're not in control of the outcome very quickly we give up in 1965 there was a scientist who did an experiment he was carrying on Palm Pavlov and he wanted to see um what would happen if the dogs didn't have any control so he had one with a electric shock going for the floor one had a button it could go and press and the other one had nothing very quickly the dog with the button and then oh I touched that button it's gone away and he was a pretty happy dog he was doing okay the shot came turned it off he was no problem at all the dog with no control was in depression so quickly it's just when you feel powerless it doesn't make us feel good and we want to feel good we're on this journey you got to start with curiosity you've got to start with where am I and I want you to pay attention to your beliefs I want you to start looking around and think what does give me joy because I've sort of Forgotten I'd been going oh I love work but I I did I did love work but what actually brought me joy what lit me up and what thoughts did I say I started paying attention and now I listen all the time be really careful of your words because they are directing what you think is this a useful belief do you need it because what you believe is going to be shown to you with your filter and the cool thing is that then it's shown to you if it's a useful belief and it reinforces the outcome this is a ship you're actually gonna go like filter's gonna let in evidence that that is actually happening and then you'll go around in the circle of seeing actually results so that's happening and you'll be even more boom boom boom I'm going in a crappy Circle spiral downwards so be aware of what that belief is is it your belief because so often the beliefs we carry around are not ours they're our parents we get them when we're younger is it your belief and some of them it's so funny when you pay attention just not even my what I was even thinking about it and it's directed my life honestly they just get lifted off it's it's amazing it's it's freeing she's like oh my god I didn't even know I had that belief and it's been really messing me up when you take back control of your emotions and when you take back control instead of people attacking you and you're saying they make me feel this way you get to choose you have to take responsibility of this crap but you actually get to choose then to feel powerful I'm not talking about blaming I'm talking about looking and saying why has this happened why do I feel this way why am I reacting is this something I have control and I need to waste energy on it or if it's not even my monkey get off my back my friend so that is what you want to do go through your access baggage see what you've shoved in the back of that cupboard because that is why you can't take off yeah it's so heavy got to the checkout and they just went go unpack some up you're not flying today my friend because you're full of other people's rubbish so those childhood perceptions people say the weirdest comments and you've picked that up and like your whole life's been driven on all they said that to me and I must be true I remember when I I moved to Australia when I was 14 and it was something like I went to this school and everyone could play sport they're pretty sporty here I had gone to a school where there was no sport like I was in the Middle East and Africa and even in London it was an all-girls school I'd been there for a couple of years and it really was not Australia's sport level everyone had to do sport didn't they and then I did Sport and I'm like you can't even catch a ball you're crap you are so rubbish at sport and then I was like no you're not as I was older I suddenly realized like maybe you weren't rubbish at sport because my kids have been brought up in Australia and they started catching a bull when they were like three years old so of course when you were 14 you couldn't catch the ball because everyone else had been doing it for 10 years that was my belief if I'd have practiced and done it I'm pretty certain I could have caught them all but because I just went I don't do sport that was it for the rest of my life that was it no sport for Lisa because you can't catch balls so those stupid belief would stop me and really it was just a childhood belief and not realizing I just hadn't learned how to do it some of the stuff is tough some of it hurts because you've chugged it back bags you don't want to deal with it so you ask for help if you need it take it slowly examine it do half at a time but take the time to say is this my belief do I need to carry this crap around with me because the more you find out about you I promise you the better your results will be knowledge about yourself is never a burden knowledge is never a burden in the backpack of Life whatever you're doing when you're failing when you feel like you're failing whatever you're doing pay attention and learn because that's all we're here to do so this is the last thing you really need to know habits they're messing us up my friend that is what's messing us up I'm sure Chris knows like me people have a plan they know what to do they clear they want it they're up there with me and they're going yes we're doing this they don't take any action and you're like what the freak you're doing the same crap again aren't you why are you doing the same stuff and the reason are we have all these thoughts per day thoughts today thoughts per day sometimes I couldn't put a number because it was twelve thousand to sixty thousand thoughts a day you don't have to believe every silly one that comes through you get a choice of what you react to and you get a choice of what you see but our habit brain makes these peeps repeat 98 of your thoughts are the same as yesterday 98 which is pretty freaky you're just running on autopilot as much as possible because that's sensible for our system it keeps us on low energy fear or flight survival evolutionary pattern means keep you on power save let's keep this you know as safe as possible for that person they need to run these are our motions they can take a photo it's going out all over the body and as you can see they're like heat energy just like your molecules that's why you feel them in your stomach there's emotion cells and you feel that butterfly because they're moving molecules it's like butterflies in your stomach literally molecules moving so when you actually have those coming out it's really to say warning warning you're doing something new warning warning this is happening and then you get to actually control what you do but the problem is you don't really do you you're just going to have it mode because we've got this amazing system that's made it cool for us and it's just going keep that battery keep that battery watch out warning warning so you have to start thinking is this a warning where I'm going to get burnt and I'm going to go into Terror or is it just a warning that I'm using energy and actually that's what I want to do because I'm learning a new thing I would say you should feel uncomfortable you should feel emotions there's no imposter syndrome get get comfortable with it because you know it's going to be emotions if you all got those feelings think this is cool because it means I'm doing something new I know when I first spoke at the future which was like a year and a half ago I think maybe two years I did my first Workshop there like the night before I was like what am I doing I'm crying which was like I'm gonna vomit and then I was like oh my goodness isn't this what you want isn't this everything you wanted and aren't you excited maybe it's that because they both show in the same way in your body and I'm like yeah actually this is what I want move it to excitement change the way you look at it I often have no idea what I'm doing you know people I'm teaching and they're like oh honestly I bought a I bought a retreat not completely thought it through yet but I'm having an adventure and I'm having fun and I also am responsible for my energy I really hate that with my kids when they walk in they're like I'm so tired I'm so tired when you say that your brain thinks you're tired if you say this is so crazy our brain if you say to your brain oh I had a good night's sleep you will perform better in tests afterwards even if you didn't have a good night's sleep compared to you saying I mean it's just not a nice way to come into a room it really annoys me when I'm employing people weekend I'm like well thanks for your energy because it's not really helpful here be responsible for your energy that you're bringing because that is what you're going to get back also be aware passive lease resistance you keep hopping back onto it because it's how we work it's really cool new actions to high energy habits are low energy so it's a super cool thing because remember anything that you're going to build into a habit suddenly becomes easy that is what you've got to keep in mind I think with habits I didn't realize that I don't want to do the same thing every day on my journey I've realized I'm narrated this as well and it's like I like doing the same things I'm not good at repetitive tasks and not for me not for me but it would really help if I did some repetitive tasks it would actually help my life a lot and so learning that I could control this was like oh well this will suck for a bit but then it's going to be a habit and then I don't even have to think about it it's cool and our brain does all these cool crazy things to trick us to make things easy for us in life and sometimes they're really cool sometimes they're not so cool because we miss things or we miss opportunities because it's just on this shortcuts and functions that already pre-programmed in We Gather a lot of biases with social buyers we follow people it's like much easier for me to make waste energy with my brain to say oh Chris likes apple that's the right choice even if I knew I didn't want Apple even if I checked it out and Samsung was the best choice for me I'm not choosing Apple because everyone else we're not Jews and apple my friend because we are Apple brand biased that's how it is so that takes away we don't even have to make a decision what a great thing new phones out I don't have to think because if it's an apple I'm buying it if it's not no choice is needed an Apple's so clever with the way they do their marketing with the Behavioral Science and they set up the three different phones for you so you have a choice and you know we like choices humans like I said our brain's always comparing there's no right answers this is the right thing this or this this or this this or this and apple just give you those three choices that always make you go oh thank you they do the top price anchor if you watch them the way they sell learning how to influence yourself helps you understand how you influence other people once you know how it's working because our brain is driven by like do we want status do we expect fairness this is really what's Driven driving our system not that we want money it's the basic things like am I doing this so I have control am I doing this so that you know people look up to me why am I doing this and like I said there's no wrong answers but keep your words positive because that's what's going to affect your behaviors and your behaviors are going to make your habits so if you start doing bad start thinking and focusing on things in the passings they're going to be the habits welcome to that rubbish keep those habits positive because that's actually going to become your values and what you realize are important and that is so cool because that is what we come to a destiny we don't like being uncomfortable and uncertain and this is what I think is messing you up with Marvels because the first thing is Let's Be specific let's measure the future and uh we're wired for the unknown we don't know what's happening in the future and it's not something that makes us feel good we we're so uncertain we're like fear what could happen we might be rejected and remember survival is the biggest for humans we're tribal humans we like to be liked we like to be in the tribe we don't want to be rejected but what I've seen is if you focus on that past you don't have any control over it it just leads you to depression because you're like I've got this thing that I want to change but I can't my brain can't do it it makes me sad because that energy is going in there so just keep focusing on it I can't change it if I focus on the future which is what I think I did which I never really done before like that and it made me go into like paralyze of like I don't know what's happening next so I can't make a decision but instead of paying attention to the place where I could make a decision which is right now so goal setting isn't about what I want in five years it's only today that's all we have it really is all we have I've learned that like with my daughter with some of my friends I've lost now we only have today it's the only day you can control so control that and stop focusing on this delusional future because that overwhelm is stopping you going anywhere and when you start doing things look at your skills are they realistic we sometimes have to start at the bottom and work our way up we're not going to be Cristo in two seconds it took time to get there so there are uncertain Futures stop using smart goals I don't think that you could possibly for a short though I want to do the Sprint in the month that is when smart goals work but when you're doing those long-term goals it's impossible to measure my son's selling cars at the moment a year later he's booming like how could he measure how much he was going to learn and how much he was going to improve and then people are like oh well it doesn't matter you're doing better than you go and I'm like really it's like now you're all changing it up aren't you so let's get not future focused let's get feeling focused that's what drives you and then you don't really have to worry about it I promise you it's like the filter is open for the opportunities learn what you need to know from the past take it in is information know that you haven't got much energy so you live in the now dream about the future dream about the future but know that they're all going to come true keep testing those ideas in your head imagine yourself there and see if you like it change the way you think about things because like I said we've got a crazy brain you know we think just because somebody's got packaging it's got way more valuable Panadol neurofins no one wants a non-branded nurofen because they don't work it no one's got a 50p headache and 50 cents headache we've got a five dollar nurofen headache and the placebo of brains that crazy that we can actually we think it works more no action is the key remember that habit stick so when you're thinking about your thoughts say oh do I want this as a habit these habits never go away it's like riding a bike your brain's so cool it just puts them in the back of the cupboard in case you need him you can't get rid of habits but what you can stop well you can get rid of is the cue that caused the habits because that's what our system's like when this happens you do this when this happens you do this so you change the cue and you don't need to focus they found it's really not good to focus on getting rid of habits you just keep focusing on building new ones new ones is important get used to stopping and breathing because we go oh I'll have that shiny syndrome my habit brain says I like things I like things give me more more my ego takes over what they found when you if you stop and breathe you will delay that reaction I'm not sure if you've seen that marshmallow experiment because where they're like give kids and say here's one marshmallow and if you wait for time you'll get two marshmallows and the ones who wait they've studied those children for 42 years I think now the ones who delay gratification are the ones who do just so much well in every single era in life and they can tell that from that child on the way he's chosen on marshmallow breath is your joystick my friend it's a secret thing pause and breathe it's you we've been given it to control if you go short breaths you power yourself up if you do long breasts you can calm yourself down and go to sleep other cool thing is if you blink your eyes when we blink it actually helps keep us awake our brain thinks we keep me awake so if you flick your eyes it's like I'm going wake me up please wake me up please and the little signal is going in your brain every time you do that with habits you want to celebrate wins because we do like that I like that humans we like to get little rewards all the time we want to keep those happy hormones up so get actually cool with doing those get rewards build them in every day when I first started and I didn't know what I wanted I didn't know where I was going I didn't know my beliefs I didn't know everything I hadn't paid attention to any of that stuff I was like I need to start finding out what's fun but I need to start believing I can do stuff again because how many of us are signing up for gyms when we pretty much know we're not going I only know oh yeah yeah I should do that but I'm no I'm not but I'll sign up anyway because we were used to being failures don't commit to you're not going to do tell your brain if I commit something I do it I started off with just having water every day that's all I had to do and at the end of the day I celebrated that and then I had to go outside and breathe every time I felt emotions every time I felt attacked and that's all I had to do because if I'd set off and said I'm going to build this I'm going to buy this I'm going to do all this stuff I didn't have my system right we've got to constantly because of the autopilot though be very careful when you're someone who's like me 50 years of the habit you know they don't break you know we hop back into them very quickly it's like toggling we can toggle the switch but remember that you can toggle back and the more you keep toggling the more that will become your normal you want to break the cycle but it's about weirdly and this was really hard for me to get my brain around when I was realized it you actually need to do less not more I've been brought up where you worked your ass off to get what you want you know work work work that's what we do we work and then I was like oh it's all about what you believe and I realized small consistent steps all you need to do paying attention to the do if you start doing all these things that you think oh I'm going to do this this and this overload overload warning warning warning you do nothing and that's what's actually happening to people's goals as well it's just too much you are a system you wouldn't do that to your computer so don't overload it one at a time and then you're like boom that's a new function let's move on so celebrate this is what you want to do celebrate little wins and build them up and suddenly you'll be like this optimized machine he's winning and getting golds most importantly most importantly I want you to believe in magic because anything's possible change is possible every seven years you are a new human what who knew that so cool so it is possible to change if you look back to where you were seven years I guarantee you've changed take control of that you're one movement away one movement away from a new life either you need to change where you're looking you need to take one step you just need to start taking action thank you and I hope that this gets you all on the path to achieving your goals