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How to Build a Strong Personal Brand for Your Business (Explicit Language)
Chris Do and brand strategist Phyllis Trotter discuss why embracing your unfiltered self is the only way to build a powerful personal brand.
Chris Do
Founder, The Futur™ · March 17, 2023
Your Brand Is Not a Mask
Most people build their personal brand like they are putting on a costume. They sand down their edges, hide their history, and adopt a voice they think sounds “professional.” They believe this polished facade is the price of admission to success.
They are wrong.
The mask you think is an Academy Award-winning performance is a two-dollar paper prop from the dollar store. Everyone can see right through it. Not only are you failing to fool anyone, you are actively repressing the one thing that could actually connect with an audience: your authentic self.
In a conversation with Chris Do, brand strategist Phyllis Williams Trotter makes a powerful case for a different approach. It’s an approach built not on polish, but on power. Not on conformity, but on courage. Not on hiding your past, but on owning it completely.
When Trotter introduces herself as the “ghetto country grandmother,” it isn’t a gimmick. It’s a declaration of who she is, where she comes from, and who she serves. It’s a masterclass in building a brand so authentic it becomes magnetic.
The Power of Being Hood Adjacent
To understand Trotter's philosophy, you have to understand her story. The phrase “ghetto country” is a juxtaposition she embodies. She describes herself as hood adjacent, raised by a “country mama” who was strict but couldn’t keep her from sneaking out to hang with a rough crowd.
“I hung around with some CD dudes because I was a serious tomboy back then,” she recounts. “I actually had to learn to physically fight.”
At 6’1”, she was always the tall girl, a target for boys with a Napoleon complex. Her father taught her how to fight back, how to “knuckle up.” For years, she tried to dismiss this part of her identity, believing it was a liability. She soon realized that abandoning her history was doing herself a “great disservice.”
This history is the bedrock of her brand. It informs her directness, her resilience, and her refusal to people-please. While others are searching for an angle, Trotter’s is forged from lived experience. This is a core lesson for any entrepreneur: your story, with all its messiness and perceived flaws, is not something to overcome. It is the source of your unique power.
That journey of self-acceptance wasn't linear. After dropping out of UCLA’s math and computer science program in her third year, she had to face the fallout. “I hid that [__] for a long ass time,” she admits. The disappointment from her father, a UCLA alumnus himself, was devastating. But it was a pivotal moment in choosing her own path, even when it hurt those she loved.
She found her way not through a traditional career, but through a partnership with her husband, Neil. This partnership led them into the world of barbecue, an industry that would become her unintentional branding boot camp.
Lessons from the Barbecue Pit
Before she was coaching solopreneurs, Trotter was in the trenches of the food business. She and her husband Neil bootstrapped their way from a kitchen table to two successful restaurants, including the well-known Bigmista's Barbecue in Long Beach, California. In their partnership, the roles were clear. “Neil's job was to look cute and cook,” Trotter says. “My job was everything else.”
She handled invoices, contracts, quotes, and all administrative work. This behind-the-scenes role gave her a front-row seat to the importance of brand consistency. She made sure Neil was always the face and voice of the business, a strategy that led to appearances on television shows like TLC's BBQ Pitmasters.
“Whenever there was something to do on TV, go get him,” she explains. The work was demanding, and often thankless, with customers and even Neil sometimes overlooking her contributions. This experience is familiar to many who work in a partnership, a dynamic explored further in How to Work Together.
Her biggest challenge, however, came from the television world itself. When they were cast on Food Network's The Great Food Truck Race, she was confronted with a pervasive and damaging stereotype.
Trotter knew her assertive, no-nonsense personality, essential for the high-pressure environment of competitive barbecue, could easily be edited and perceived as the “angry black woman.” She was wary. “I'm not gonna be the angry black woman in the corner,” she resolved. “No, I'm not going, period.”
When an online commenter called her a “[__]” during the show, her response was telling: “Thank you. Yes, I am.” She understood they couldn’t see the an inner-workings of their team. “You think I'm being a [__], but I'm keeping his time because I know what he's trying to accomplish.”
This highlights a crucial aspect of authentic branding: you cannot control how everyone perceives you. What you can control is how you respond. Instead of shrinking, Trotter owned the label and refused to let it define her. This is a powerful lesson in dealing with criticism, a skill every public-facing professional needs, as Do discusses in Dealing With Negative Feedback.
The Language of Belonging
A brand is a community, and every community has its own language. The words you use, the tone you take, and the cultural references you make are all signals that tell people whether they belong or not. Trotter’s profanity-laced, direct-from-the-hip communication style is a perfect example.
For those outside her culture, the language can be shocking. Do shares his own experience in Black-led Clubhouse rooms, where the verbal sparring felt “super toxic” to his “delicate Asian sensibilities.” He was fascinated by the dynamic, a world away from his own cultural norms.
Trotter explains that this perceived aggression is often a sign of love and familiarity. “Believe it or not, the more cussing you hear, probably the more love there is in the room,” she says. Growing up, the tables where her family played dominoes and drank Hennessy were filled with a language of affectionate insults. The real trouble started not with the words, but when the tone changed.
She draws a sharp distinction between cussing and cussing someone out. One is communal shorthand; the other is a declaration of war. This is about learning the lyrics of a specific tribe. When you know the lyrics, you know when someone says “I’m gonna kick your ass,” it’s a term of endearment, not a physical threat.
However, this language comes with rules. It’s for family, for those you’ve welcomed into your inner circle. It’s not for strangers. This is the mistake many brands make when trying to connect with a culture they don't understand. They adopt the slang without earning the right to use it.
Trotter shares a pointed example of someone from The Futur community who tried to connect on LinkedIn. His message: “What up, dawg?”
“Like you don't know me like that,” Trotter says, explaining her offense. “You know me as the Ghetto Country Grandmother. You don't know me as Phyllis. These are two, don't cross them up.”
The lesson is clear: you must respect the house you are entering. When Trotter is a guest, she adapts. “I don't disrespect your house,” she states. Building a brand voice is not about being loud everywhere, but about knowing when and where your authentic voice is appropriate and when respect for others requires a different mode of communication.
The Danger of Code-Switching
The mistake the LinkedIn connector made is rooted in a concept Trotter vehemently rejects: **code-switching**. She defines it as changing your language and mannerisms to fit in with a perceived dominant or different culture.
“In black folks' language, we used to always talk about, ‘oh, you're talking white,’” she explains. “Your language changes, all that vernacular that you hear... it suddenly becomes very polite and you pronounce all the words and you put all the ‘ings’ on the end of everything.”
Code-switching is an act of self-betrayal. It’s making yourself uncomfortable to make everyone else comfortable. When you do this, you are no longer operating from a place of strength. You are performing.
This is the trap many aspiring entrepreneurs fall into. They see someone like Gary Vaynerchuk dropping F-bombs and think that is the key to success. They try to emulate the style, but it comes across as inauthentic because it isn't theirs.
“Sweetie, your pimp game is weak because we know what's under all that Maybelline,” Trotter says bluntly. “If cool is not your thing, then brand over here for the nerds and go make your money. You don't have to fake and shake for somebody else.”
Authenticity means embracing who you are, whether that’s nerdy, quiet, loud, or anything in between. Many successful personal brands are built on a foundation of being unapologetically themselves, as detailed in What Successful Personal Brands Do Differently.
The core of the problem is a confusion between assimilation and respect. When you travel to another country, like Japan, you follow their customs. You bow, you speak quietly on the subway. This is not code-switching; it’s respecting the rules of the house. Trotter notes that while the “Ghetto Country Grandmother” is one persona, Phyllis is another. “My mama told me to respect my elders, respect other people's things, keep your hands to yourself. That's also Phyllis.”
True authenticity is not about having a single, static identity. It’s about having a core self that is consistent, but understanding the context you're in. The goal is to be yourself, just with different levels of volume and expression depending on the environment. You never abandon who you are.
The Uncompromising Brand Framework
So, how does one build a brand on this foundation of radical self-acceptance? Trotter's approach moves beyond superficial tactics and goes straight to the core of identity and purpose. It’s not about pleasing everyone; it’s about attracting the right ones.
“Everybody does not like you,” she states simply. “It's no different in your business.”
When you embrace your authentic self, you will inevitably repel people. This is not a failure. It is the entire point. It’s a filtering mechanism. The alternative is to contort yourself for money, a path that leads to burnout and resentment. Unless, of course, the price is right.
This brings us to Trotter’s concept of the PIMA fee: the Pain In My Ass fee. If you are going to take on a client or project that forces you to be someone you’re not, the price must be high enough to compensate for the emotional and psychological cost. “The price has to be high enough for me to show up,” she says.
For those committed to building a brand that doesn't require a PIMA fee, Trotter lays out a deeper framework based on three dimensions of clarity.
She asks her clients a series of foundational questions:
- What do you want to be famous for? This question must be answered with something more than money. It gets to the heart of your impact and legacy.
- How will fame impact your life? You must consider the real-world consequences of visibility. How will it affect your family, your privacy, and your peace?
- How much of yourself will you share? Authenticity doesn’t mean full transparency. You must set boundaries and decide which parts of your life are for the brand and which parts remain private.
This leads to her concept of a **three-dimensional purpose**. Most people think of purpose as a single statement, but Trotter argues you need three distinct, yet aligned, purposes:
- Your Life Purpose: Who you are and what you stand for as a human being.
- Your Business Purpose: The mission of your company and the problem it solves.
- Your Brand Purpose: The promise your brand makes to its audience and the value it delivers.
This multidimensional approach extends to finances as well. You need to make money, but you must be clear on who gets paid: you as an individual, the business for its operations, and the brand as a profitable entity. Each needs its own financial goals.
The Mission Behind the Brand
For Trotter, this framework isn’t theoretical. It’s deeply personal. When Do asks her what she wants to be famous for, her voice breaks, and the tough exterior gives way to a profound vulnerability.
“I want to be famous for helping teen-preneurs,” she says, fighting back tears. “I want to help teens start businesses before they age out of the foster care system.”
This is the why behind the what. Her raw, unapologetic brand is not just a personality; it’s a tool. It's a way to connect with the overlooked, the underestimated, and the kids who feel they only have a few paths out of their situation: sports or rap. She sees a third way: entrepreneurship based on their unique gifts.
“I think that's a [__] up place to leave them,” she says. “Who y'all want to throw away is who I want to go back and pick up.”
Her mission is to provide these young people with the branding and marketing skills they need to turn their talents into sustainable businesses, not just side hustles. She wants to make enough money so she doesn't need grants or outside approval. “I can go get my own money because I want to do this for them.” It’s a powerful reminder that the ultimate goal of a strong personal brand isn't just personal success, but the ability to create change. This aligns with a core principle of finding your driving force, a concept explored in the Ikigai framework.
This is what an authentic brand looks like. It has sharp edges. It has a clear voice. It has non-negotiable boundaries. And at its heart, it has a mission that is bigger than itself.
The challenge, then, is not to find a mask that fits.
It is to find the courage to take yours off.
TRANSCRIPT
part of the discomfort is to lean into some of your vulnerability the things that you're afraid to show the world but when you can own it it's powerful stuff yes [Music] hey everybody this episode is long overdue I have my friend Phyllis Trotter who goes by a couple other names I think it's
going to be very intriguing for today's conversation I'll save that for a little bit Phyllis for people who don't know who you are can you please introduce yourself and tell us a little story about you hey sweethearts I am Phyllis Williams Trotter known as the ghetto country grandmother I am empathic [ __
] who works with solopreneurs who want to build scalable Brands so and I the way that I got here is very strange because I got here by way of barbecue but now I focus on helping solopreneurs who have shiny object syndrome because I realize a lot of people are running around here as
solopreneurs trying to build a brand and they have all of these offers and all of these things and it's just some crazy but I also realize this is a story that includes you is that when I introduce myself in your house when you are on clubhouse when I introduced myself in your house
as ghetto country and I told you I was raised Hood adjacent by a country mama that flipped a switch for me for everything it is how I found my brand of voice and how I started to lean into my personal brand and it just made me want to help other people do that
and not be so confused or trying to put so much on so much pressure on themselves to build a brand so that's how I got here wonderful what I love about you is you're so fully yourself meaning you've embraced who you are you lean into your history and some sometimes people hide from
the history and you just lean all in now in case you haven't figured this out I do need to give a warning to sensitive listeners there may be an occasional F-bomb here and there and some strong language but we would not ask the ghetto country grandmother to change just to be on our
show so I think if you can handle that language she's funny as heck and and I just want her to be her full self so there's the warning there's the public service announcement now let's take us back to before we talk about how you and I met tell me about this this concept
like you put a lot of words together that need to be unpacked ghetto country there's a juxtaposition of two words there Hood adjacent take me back to Young Phyllis what the heck is going on here oh my goodness when I talk about being Hood adjacent I'm talking about um my mama was she
was Hardcore she like say her countryness she was not gonna let me run amok and all of that kind of crazy but she did leave the house every once in a while so I will sneak out and do some bad [ __ ] and I hung out with some bad folks I was
almost in a gang but to be in the gang you got to get jumped in I wasn't about to get jumped on um I hung around with some CD dudes because I was a serious tomboy back then so the guys that I hung out with most girls wouldn't do that so it was
always that opportunity and plus my dad my dad oh don't let me get in that part but my dad always taught me to fight even though I was a girl because I always had to fight dudes because I was always tall guys always everybody figured they had a Napoleon complex so they wanted
to beat up the tall girl so I actually had to learn to physically fight and fight news and so that's how my dad raised me I knew how to wrap up my fist and Knuckle Up and all of that kind of stuff and so all of that is who I am and to
try to dismiss that like I did for so many years was doing me a great disservice how tall are you for people who are listening to this I am actually 6-1 wow yes yeah okay I mentioned in person I don't remember you being that tall but oh my gosh that is something go
ahead did you have an early growth spurt I did not I stayed 5 10 for a long time and I thought that's where I was gonna stick and then I got kind of pissed off when I grew taller because all the tall guys wanted to date the girls that reached their belly buttons
and all that kind of [ __ ] yeah yeah I was kind of salty back then but then once high school was over oh she got long legs now miss me with the [ __ ] keep it pushing no I mean when you say you you had to stop at 5 10 that's
already tall especially for women and then you went six six one yes six one so you grew a couple of more inches there wow yeah okay so that okay so you're you're a little rough you're a tomboy yeah you're tall and so instead of hanging out with the the prissy women or girls
back then you hung out with boys and some idiot has always got to like prove something to somebody right oh my gosh but and it's not even just that like I said when when I did step into my girly phase and all of that kind of stuff dudes that were my brothers for
so long all of a sudden it's like I ain't gonna I'm not gonna get really explicit on you but they're they're the way they saw me changed and I'm like dude you're my brother that does not work for me and getting people to understand that when folks talk about boys and girls can't
be friends at that age no at this age sweetie I'm cool with all of it I can be your friend all day long I don't have nothing to prove so what age are we talking about where you kind of blossom into this young woman the boys maybe run run with you all of
a sudden look at you differently how old are you well I I am 57 I am 57 right now but back then oh when 20s hit and mini skirts was a thing oh you can tell a sister she can show her legs that was it was it was on and popping I promise
you laughs okay so we're talking like After High School college-ish yeah because 20 something okay well let's let's take it there I'd like to just follow along with the chronology of things okay so did you go to college what did you study I did I went to college straight out of high school
I went the first summer and I dropped out after three years I did not like it okay I got accepted to UCLA I was a math computer science major back then and I stayed in the dorms that first summer and it totally turned me off I I felt like I was in some
type of college movie it's like y'all just some nasty [ __ ] ugh it was not what I expected and so I did that first summer and then my dad got me an apartment way off campus oh my God so far off campus but he got me my first apartment and since I
had always been an independent person it was the commute and all that stuff I was fine but I went and then I finally realized in that third year I was going for the wrong reason my dad had gone to UCLA my cousin had gone to USC so there was a rivalry right there
but it wasn't in me to go to college then and even though I did not have I had good grades I was a 3.24 GPA and all that stuff it's just one day I didn't go back I just couldn't do it was that a consideration to think about your parents uh saying that
I'm done with school or it's not a big deal for you I hit that [ __ ] for a long answer oh I said it was a deal I lied and lied some more um okay but yeah I hit it for a long time and the disappointing my father is my heart um
yeah and when I told him he was more disappointed that I dropped out than had I flunked out the fact that I just walked away really hurt and devastated him and like I'm I'm a daddy's girl all up and throw and to to watch him not speak to me anymore for a while
while his heart oh no all that kind of stuff I knew that's that's who would take it the hardest so I just had to I had to let him sit in it for a while but because I'm his favorite well yeah I'm his favorite I'll go ahead and own that but um being
that girl for him being that Daddy's girl I never lost my place with him I knew that that wasn't going to be an issue it was just the dealing with the disappointment my daddy is a bigger crybaby than I am oh my gosh yeah so that that was the biggest heart part it
wasn't my mom it was my dad so when you dropped out of school what'd you do for money how did you support yourself oh Lord I have never had um a McDonald's job in my life because actually I start working for my dad when I was about 16 or 17. he was a
real estate broker by then um and so I had worked for him and y'all if you're gonna hire your kids pay them please but I learned so much working in an office so there was never a time where I did not have a job after that I could get an office job and
a heartbeat because back then that's when they taught you typing in school and stenography and all of that kind of stuff yeah so it was easy for me to go and get a job and I actually had to quit working for my dad because it was just too much overlap of am I
your daughter or am I your employee because one of them got to get paid I'm sorry right okay so let's forward the timeline here how do you find your way into doing branding and design work oh my goodness you're not gonna do pretty [ __ ] but no I found my way into
branding uh when we had the barbecue restaurant we had to learn everything on the Fly because we straight bootstrapped from the kitchen table all the way into two restaurants and all of that kind of stuff but it was fighting with Neil on the constant about how we should brand and Market our business
and I always made sure that he was the base of the business Whenever there was something to do on TV go get it whenever there was something to apply for to be on TV go get them and so making sure that he was always consistently the face and the voice of the thing
um was how I learned a lot of things but the argument was always between when we should put this stuff out here baby stop trying to market last minute why are you telling them today that we're putting this on sale tomorrow so there was all this confrontation so I had to learn how
to get around that and to navigate it but even back then I didn't know what I knew now what I know now and so the the fact that we were as successful as we were is a blessing to me because to come out of that unscathed than being able to walk away most
folks don't get that opportunity they have to say and watch their business die I didn't have to do that well we have to clarify a few things for our audience here so somewhere along the way you meet a man who later on becomes your husband who you're still married to to this day
his name is Neil lovely gentleman he's into barbecue yeah and you you guys start a business together and you also wind up on this show with Tyler I think it's called the Great American food truck race or something like that is that right that is right I hated that show okay let's let's
just let's just slow down here and expand on this so prior to you trying to help Neil with branding and marketing what is your role in the business relationship are you managing the finances are you doing in front of house stuff what are you doing Neil Neil's job was to look cute and
cook my job was everything else okay seriously I did the invoicing I did the contracts I did the the the quotes and all the different things anything that had to do administratively that's what I handled and it kind of made me salty for a while because everybody would act like Neil did all
of this [ __ ] by himself and so even though I stayed behind the scenes it's like seriously and then he would piss me off because he's like baby how do you do this and then he go and said like seriously dude you're gonna act like you just had this information at the
top yeah we we had some challenges on that stuff so it was it was learning all of that but then also learning to be comfortable with you know what my place right now is behind the scenes even his first opportunity to be on TV to be on um was it Barbecue Pit Masters
he almost didn't get to do that because they thought it was a husband and wife thing I'm like I'm not gonna be the angry black woman in the corner no I'm not going period well can we talk about that a little bit sure um so I the the way I I emphasize this
to a lot of people one of the most important decisions you're going to make in your life is who you choose to be your partner in life some Partners support you build you hold you to a higher standard and you nurture each other and some are questioning you picking at you and it's
a competition for your time and attention very important and I think I I was one of the lucky ones that sounds like you guys are very lucky to have each other because you do very different things and you recognize each other in your zone of Genius so here you are pretty much running
the business for Neil so that he can be the star of the face and the genius behind the food that's his gift in life and he's probably not great at everything else and to recognize that and to find someone who supports that where you can work off each other is a beautiful thing
okay so you're you say that you're he's being considered for TV shows and then you mentioned I'm not going to be the angry black woman tell me a little bit about what that is and unpack that for people who don't understand what you're talking about um with me being who I am like
I said with the hard edges that I have and all of that kind of stuff it comes with the stigma of of people thinking like oh there's there's no femininity to this and like I say I know how to embrace my feminine side but like I say I I love the the hanging
out with guys and all of that kind of stuff but when you act a certain way when you get angry when you assert yourself when you take any stand on anything you become the angry black woman even when Neil did when we did The Great Food Truck Race one person tweeted that I
don't like her she's a [ __ ] I said thank you yes I am because they don't understand the dynamic of how we have to work because our business was born out of doing barbecue competitions and that [ __ ] has to be on point so when I have to yell at Neil
come on dude let's do this you think I'm being a [ __ ] but I'm keeping his time because I know what he's trying to accomplish and what he's trying to do okay so does that help answer that question yes it does it's like the way that you function as a team internally
is this is how we work and if you if you don't know better what people tend to do is they bring their standards their values and they project them on to you so maybe you grew up differently and you have this perfect kind of Leave it to Beaver husband wife team and then
you look at somebody who this is how you function and you project that judgment onto people you're like you know what step Act is how we do our thing and I don't do this myself but I have moments where I work with my team a very specific way and we have great results
when somebody doesn't know any better appears into that world and and starts to I hate to say this word but like a virtual signal to other people that they're cool and they're all for egalitarian and treating people a certain way and we'll try to run a business see what happens see what happens
and then before you cast judgment put yourself in those shoes just for a hot minute so the way that it sounds to me like the way you work and I've met Neil briefly via Zoom or something like that I saw him he's the sweetest guy I mean he's very different than the way
that that you are yeah but you two make magic together yeah so you're like okay I'm not going to play that role and it's an easy role for you guys to point out because you you have a high self-awareness and high self-acceptance which is pretty rare you're like I know how you're going
to see me and I don't want to play that role yes yeah okay so then how do they drag you into the food the food truck um what it was is that I have resolved myself as like because we had done other like Good Day LA segments and I started showing up on
those and in those I didn't have to talk or really appear on camera I just had to be window dressing but when it came to this particular episode Neil's like baby let's do this and it and the reason it became a bad experience because they came at us knowing that we were barbecue
restaurant but then when it came time for us to leave that night because we told them what we will need the smoker and all of that and when it was time to do this particular thing they were uh well oh no you guys got to cook when everybody else cook I'm like pump
your brakes so I was actually ready to walk away from the show I'm like baby we don't have to do this we have people standing in line we make our money we don't need this [ __ ] and the producers were trying to talk us into no no we really want you we
really want you and so at the last minute we had to actually change everything that we had planned to cook for the show and to some made up [ __ ] but thankfully that [ __ ] ended up in being our second restaurant which was big Mrs morning wood but it was it
was in that moment of knowing that you know what I'm doing this for you sweetie because the only reason I'm in this world I don't cook on purpose not even for my child so the only reason I do any of this is because I support you so if you want to do this
let's do it my husband's a media [ __ ] I know this so let's get out here and do this thing for you okay there's a lot of love in these words there's a lot of love we have to just keep reminding people there's a colorful way of describing things and definitely you
can get a lot of flavor and spice in this conversation I think what Phil is saying in non-judgmental non-violent languages my husband enjoys the Limelight and it's good for our business and our brand I think that's what you meant to say right sure sure politically correct way to say it well I don't
I don't even think of myself as politically correct but sometimes you know if you don't I want to get into this a little bit like different cultures right and how we talk to each other and there's a familiarity and if you step into a different culture it is very shocking I'll give you
an example I'm going to take a brief detour here hopefully I can bring this back but I noticed back in the in the heydays of Clubhouse I would sit in rooms that were clearly black LED there is some violence going on in there and I'm talking about some pretty crazy language comments that
I would think sounded very misogynistic there were threats being made and everybody's still in the room and they're laughing and they're yelling and talking over each other and I was completely stressed out this is super toxic to me and I call it my friend MO who you know and fans of the show
know who MO is I like Mo I don't understand this and mo grew up in American the southern parts around a lot of black people I was like yo that's that's how we talk dog like really because that's so aggressive and shocking to my delicate Asian sensibilities let me just say that so
can you shed some light on that it is like when we're when you're in a space believe it or not the more custom you hear probably the more love there is in the room because the way that I grew up and when I talk about the whole Countryside of me my mom and
them are from Texas and the way you supposed to it is my mom and them from Texas okay so in growing up with them sitting at the table playing dominoes drinking the Hennessy and cussing everybody out and it's like there's just all this this different language and so we grew up with it
and we know you know what they don't mean nothing by it they'll tell you you know when the tone changes if someone has gotten their feelings hurt and it has gotten serious because you pick up on the tone of voice not the language that's used because when somebody said wait hold up now
you know some [ __ ] is about to pop off somebody not got their feelings hurt and you're about to get let me put it this way you about to get cussed the [ __ ] out because cussing is one thing but cussing somebody out is totally different so when you're in a
room and there's just words flying around and and somebody's like I'm gonna kick your ass trust and believe there's going to be no ass kicking it is just a way of expressing like you know what I I I got you I got you I'm gonna get you next time because it's just a
way of joking around and how we speak and how we how we deal so it's nothing I'm sorry you was you was you was traumatized a little bit I I don't I always not traumatized I was so fascinated by this because um where I am and where I've been I don't have opportunities
to peer into cultures where there there's no um there's no censorship it's just fully unbridled people being who they are and you can feel the difference when you go into different rooms where people are from Asia or the Middle East or from the south or wherever they're from there's different energy and I
just as a person who's curious about people and and cultures I listen in I'm like wow that is a lot and so I can relate to a degree no so the language that you're using it's kind of like um Terms of Endearment in a way whereas if we're very formal with each other
there's not a lot of love no there's suspicion maybe we're just being yeah I can see that the um because part of it is also if we went out in public and acted like that in front of other folks I'm gonna whip your ass when I get home don't be going up here
and showing out and acting crazy we can do that amongst family but they used to be a saying what goes on in my house stays in my house so you don't go out in public showing your ass you don't get to act like this with everybody so the more you act like this
with people that are of another culture or of another neighborhood the more you're actually showing love it's like I consider you family now so it's why so many black people Embrace other people as family because if I can say this to you and you can still stand here and hang out with me
oh we good we good all day hmm Okay so there's a connection here between the idea of community Culture Connection and language and we'll probably get to that a little bit but when we talk about building a brand and learning the lyrics so people want to feel like they belong to something some
group because to be alone in the world and the universe is a horrible thought and so we're looking for our tribe whether you're part of the ghetto country or the hooded Jason family or you're part of whatever entrepreneurs organization there's a language that they speak and if you want entree into that world
you learn to speak the language and it goes both ways so if you're a brand that wants to connect with the specific culture you have to learn their language and you have to meet them where they're at and we then acknowledge and see each other how much does brand voice play into the
kind of work that you do and how you teach this um what I tell people with my brand voice and how I speak and all that kind of stuff I this is how I am in my house if I come to your house it's just like me being over here on the future
I don't respect your house if you say I can't drop all the [ __ ] then you know what I won't drop any because this is your house but when you when you're talking about building your own brand voice you have to also recognize when you go over to somebody else's neighborhood sweetie
watch what you say one of the what someone within the future and I won't miss mention any names they tried to connect with me on LinkedIn and on on the future in the program we was cool but then when he tried to to connect with me on LinkedIn he sent me a thing
saying what up dog like you don't know me like that and I was actually offended by it because you thought that you were that familiar with me that you can come at me that way you know me as the ghetto country grandmother you don't know me as fellas these are two don't cross
them up and so I never connected with him because no you don't get to you don't get to do that had we had some personal kind of interaction before that then that might have been cool but this is the first time you're talking to me and that's what you come at me with
no we are not cool we are not cool at all so you have to be very careful if you look you like especially if you go off like I do then you have to be careful I have to be careful where I take yellow country grandmother because there are actually some spaces that
I might want to go into but I won't because I know you don't like my get down so I'm not gonna offend you and you're not going to offend me I'm gonna keep my black ass over here and shut the [ __ ] up and so is with that understanding that if you're
going to do this thing if you're going to create a voice you have to actually make sure that you know what some people are not gonna like it but the same people that would call me ghetto and diss me for it would crawl over my ass to get to garyvee and let him
drop all the Bucks so it hits different hmm is that a is that a are you saying that as a observation or a criticism no I'm just saying it as an observation I don't criticize no it's an observation okay okay well you know I have a personal experience here when I was in
high school my friends a very tight-knit group small small group we would jokingly refer to each other as bastards not really obviously meaning that because one of them is my cousin not the little definition you are fatherless you know son of a loose woman right obviously and we would say that to each
other all the time and he's like oh you shut up you bastard we would say things like that and there was another person while we're playing basketball who was trying to get into our game and we're doing something and I called him a bastard and he's like what'd you call me and then
I realized what you said you realize right now something had happened a line was crossed inadvertently and this is where hopefully maturity gets steps up and not ego where you're like you know my bad my bad I didn't realize we had that we don't have that kind of connection and my apologies uh
was harmless my apologies right versus flaring up because someone challenges you even though you might have insulted someone so you learn these lessons pretty early on that you have to be mindful of the language you use and where you're at who you're with and the circumstances then it can get quite complicated if
you're not being intentional with the way you communicate yeah what kind of business lesson can be learned where someone is not really leaning into uh their culture in the way that you're talking about like if I'm a corporation if I'm a mom-and-pop business and I want to attract a certain kind of client
where I just want to be authentically myself what what kind of lessons can we learn here you're going to have to learn that if you're embracing yourself everybody does not like you is it's no different in your business if you decide that you want to roll out your culture and you want to
be all the way you sweetie just like people don't like you in life they're not going to like you in business but you get to decide because someone's going to come in here and say oh you need to change your attitude no you need to get the [ __ ] up out of
here because this is my house when I come to your house then you know what I'll I'll change if I choose to but like I said my mama raised me a certain way I'm never going to somebody else's house and disrespect them and so I expect you to do the same and so
when you're doing this as a business and you're building a brand and you want to be that thing like I'm not about people pleasing I will tell you no I don't want your money first but if you want that money and you decide that you're going to change yourself in order to get
that money then sweetie you stop being you in the first place you you've moved on so by virtue of you being who you are being get a countryhood adjacent the the grandmother do you put out a certain energy that tracks a certain type of client to you and is that a good thing
or sometimes that's limiting what are your thoughts on that I attract surprisingly I attract calm people I really do I need to meet these people show me some receipts as they say it surprises me you actually know what Cass is one of my clients and you see how Melo cast is Cass is
is lives in London she does not cuss um she will not let you push her Beyond a certain lemon she's like no no no we're not doing that she's just as this ASMR voice that that like I'm not I'm not checking for that but the thing is it also allows her to when
we work together it allowed her to step up and say that that you know I get to bring my queen to the stage because we call her the queen but she gets to be that Queen in that royalty brand that she wants to be and not have to apologize for the fact that
this is the boundary that I'm creating around this and so when I talk about when I talk about people being authentic in their brand I'm talking about sweetie you get to set the boundaries and the limits for how you want to show up and so if someone says that you know what you
shouldn't act like that you get to correct them because and know you're about to hear some shade but I tell people [ __ ] what Jeff bezel says about your brand is what people say when you're not in the room if you say the wrong thing when I'm not in the room then
I need to correct you because especially if you're trying to establish a brand that has a certain reputation then you have to con you have to correct that if someone comes to me what using my my restaurant days um they used to come in and say oh you need to serve vegetarian food
I didn't ask you to come in here if you needed something vegetarian you should have asked your friends to take you somewhere else and I would say it jokingly and all that kind of stuff but baby no you know where you came it says real good meat it does not say anything about
vegetarian on here so it's it's being able to set limits and boundaries around the personal brand that you create in order to create that business brand and so if you're going to respect what you're building just recognize you can't go everywhere you want to go not comfortably anyway if you don't give a
[ __ ] then you go wherever you please and just let the chips fall where they may um okay I'm gonna throw this out there and we we may edit this part out so I'm just going to put this out there oftentimes Asians are labeled as the the good minority where we have
learned I think and this is a very broad statement here so I got to be careful how I phrase this how to assimilate interculture really fast so we subjugate our own culture where some cultures celebrate and put that front like we learn the language we learn the customs and we move up really
fast we learn how to play the game and we play it well we become the doctors and lawyers we fit into society really neatly so that we sort of disappear and I think I can't be but influenced by some of that so I think about how I am where I'm at is because
I learned to play other people's game really well whether that's design or Motion Graphics or directing or brand building or now as an educator I kind of see the system and I I understand and I don't want to use this let me I understand how to play the game and to take advantage
of the opportunities or the openings and I can fit into these molds pretty easily because I want to capture the market or I want to have the kind of success now your approach is so much so I'm 100 authentically you do you see that that may or may not create opportunities for you
I'm just curious um people will see it that way that I'm losing opportunities but what I'm seeing it as is that that's the place I don't want to be anyway if I have to be someone else if I have the people please if I have to kiss your ass I don't want to
be there anyway and so I rather lose that opportunity and and I tell my clients what is your Pima fee Pima stands for pain in my ass if you're going to accept some place that you don't necessarily want to go the price has to be high enough for me to show up and
sometimes the price is playing that game it's subjugating to that thing it's adapting and it's like you know what let me mellow out so that's the price you're willing to pay some prices like I said I I haven't met one yet that I want to but trust and believe there's a Pima in
my back pocket for when I do well what if we take it to the extreme okay we say like I'm I'm not all the way on one side you're not all the way on the other side but we take the more extreme stands of where you are and you you meet a young
person who is your client and they have exactly like two clients and not going anywhere but they're like I'm not changing for nobody I'm not compromising nothing and they're starving and they can't put food on the table and they've taken not your idea but just this idea that you never compromise it's unbending
unyielding how do you help this person or do you need to help them um it becomes part of their brand if they decide that they're not going to shift in any shape form or fashion then they're going to have to learn to attract people who are are are similarly drawn to someone like
that I want somebody that's going to stand ten toes down in their [ __ ] and not move for anything so you have to learn to build a brand around how can I attract people that won't ask me to move and then when they do you have to make sure that line that
you've drawn in the sand that you stick to it because once you you cross it everybody else that saw you like oh you pumped out see you you you was faking and shaking and this is why I lean so much into authenticity because I don't want you to have to cross that line
sweetie put your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may and then that way you don't have to worry about the code switching and the people pleasing now if you decide that oh well you know what they're gonna give me a million dollars I'm gonna fake and shake my
ass off but then the other people once they see that they're not going to respect you anymore and you you're so worried about no like and trust this is all about respect now all right so you use the word a phrase code switching what does that mean um in black folks language we
used to always talk about oh you're talking white you're trying to sound white and so your language changes all that that vernacular that you hear and that that ghetto country and all that kind of stuff it suddenly becomes very polite and you pronounce all the words and you put all the ings on
the end of everything and so you code switch for somebody that's say nerdy all of a sudden you trying to roll out a pimp game and it's like sweetie your pimp game is weak because we know what's under all that Maybelline this does not work for you why are you trying it why
are you trying to cold switch because you think it makes you look cooler if cool is not your thing then brand over here for the Nerds and go make your money you don't have to fake and shake for somebody else it's all about sweetie what is what is relevant and conducive to you
showing up as your best self when you feel like you have the cold switch and you have to put on a different language a different hat a different vibe then you have now made yourself uncomfortable in order to make everybody else comfortable and you should never do that how do you distinguish between
that and respecting the rules of the house like when I travel there's a lot of different cultures and Americans have a bad reputation around the world as being loud and obnoxious like Garson give me this do this because we're used to a certain level of service in America and when we go to
other places they don't they don't run things that way and you're not not only in their house you're in their freaking country yeah learn to speak their language and so are we code switching then I mean I'll take for example Japan is pretty extreme they have very specific customs and if you don't
abide by them it's a huge No-No and it's a giant thing of disrespect they have a tremendous amount of respect for each other so when you're in the subway they ask you not to eat not to talk on the phone and to mine your manners so if you're going to be there talking
loud playing music and eating a taco or something like that not that you would in Japan but now you're like disrupting a lot of people's flow but if you're like I'm going to be 100 myself how does that fit in you know Japan has a custom of bowing a lot of respect and
gestures they're pretty harmless but you should try to play by their rules or should you not what do you think I think you should because here's the thing and like I say being the ghetto country grandmother is one thing Phyllis y'all would be surprised how Phil is how quiet Phyllis actually is when
I went to Singapore it was that kind of mindset that and because I only lean into my empathy and not empathic [ __ ] I'm mother on everybody when I went I stayed at what's the Hotel Marina Bay Sands and so I was on the concierge floor they got to know me so
well by the time I got up there my drink was on my table and they knew that they wanted me to try something new and different sweetie it's a matter of respecting your house but I didn't like I tell them my sweetheart when I call people sweetheart it does not discriminate it doesn't
care about age it doesn't trigger about gender it doesn't care about culture sweetie you my sweetheart and so when I come in that room trust and believe my sweetheart is always with me so when I'm in somebody else's country or in somebody else's house unless you tell me that you know what don't
call me sweetheart I don't like that all right I'll call you by your name so I'm still being Fearless but now I'm I'm true on Phyllis my mama told me to respect my elders respect other people's things keep your hands to yourself that's also Phyllis so it's it's not that that I'm switching
up or I'm cold switching this is how my mama raised me and then my mom was still alive and even at 57 she would whip my ass get your ass in the house and stop acting stupid so it's it's all you but you get to like I said you get to set the
boundaries around how much you're going to put out there and so a lot of people are attracted to this item and it's something that actually Neil brought out in me because he was baby people like you I'm like why I don't like being around a lot of people I am very quiet and
to myself and I'm reading and all of that but when I go out I see people so y'all see you what's wrong whose ass we need to go kick and they'll start laughing like no I'm okay you sure because I got you and I don't have a problem doing that I see somebody
happy what are we tramping about what are we happy about I'm there with you so that is all me but like I say when I set up and I set the boundaries around my life and my brand trust and believe you don't get all the fellas the only people that deserve all of
Phyllis Neil Morgan and a few close friends and that's who gets that um okay let's let's move forward here okay let's go back to the you working with Neil and finding that there's this other need for you to develop marketing and branding and developing something I I think it's hard to deny that
you have Charisma you have a way with people and with words that you put people at ease because you're so so much at ease yourself and I think that's something that's important for people to learn from here which is when you are comfortable you send out energy in your language and your body
and your voice and everything that you do your actions how you carry yourself and we see you're not fronting you're not trying to fit in and whether you're aggressive kind soft loud whatever it is people say like that person knows who they are and you you create space for people to join that
and I like that so one of my shortcomings at life Villas you may or may not know this is I see people like you see people differently but I see people in a way that I know the person that's inside that wants to get out but you keep showing up with this Persona
trying to fit in online and in person and I could see right through it now I do it gently I do it in my style and my way but I try to encourage people to lean into who they are and let go of the facade mostly because I tell them people can see
right through it anyways you think your mask is This brilliant like Academy award-winning makeup thing it's it's not it's a two dollar paper mask from the dollar store and we can see right through it we really can so not only are you not yourself you're repressing who you are and you're probably pretty
miserable but the fact is you're not fooling anybody yes so let's go through some steps here okay we're on the same page maybe two different approaches to solving the same kind of thing which is to help people to be 100 authentic themselves yes what are some ways that you can help people to
find that voice and to give them courage to be that um when I when I work with clients the thing that I I want to know most is like what do you want to show up as and what do you want to be famous for and it has to be more than money
because people will put the label of money on anything but when you dig deeper it's like okay this is what I want to be famous for and it's like okay why so if you get famous for that thing how is it going to impact your life so when we're talking about building Our
Brands you have to go back and look at especially when you're a business of one you got to go back and look at how is this going to impact my life if I become famous and everybody's all up in my face how is this going to impact my life so it's it's with
the understanding that I want to be authentically 100 myself but how much of that self do you want to share so when you start laying out okay it's okay for me to be this in public but I want to keep this for myself because you got to keep some parts for yourself you
you shouldn't have to share that I don't even share some parts of myself with my husband and my child so then when you start to lay out and understand that this is all me but this is how much of this I want over here this is how much I want in my business
and all the rest of this gets to go over here in my life so it's laying out those things when you talk about when you look at it from the traditional way of branding the purpose vision and Mission sweetie you have to have a life purpose a business purpose and a brand purpose
those are three different things when you talk about how much money you want to make you got to make some money the business got to make some money and the brand got to make a profit everybody got to get paid so you have to understand and make your list of how these things
are going to happen and understand that you know what once you set that that boundary in place it's not saying that you can't mature into something else it's just saying you know what this is where I am right now because branding is all about closing the Gap from where you are to where
you want to be so now that you've reached this level of maturity don't you want to mature again why the [ __ ] you sitting right here and now your business is declining and you're losing money don't do that so it's just about having the conversation of let's find out what it is
that you really want to bring to this game tell me what it is okay so beyond money yeah why do you exist it's the question and you have to answer that in multiple Dimensions yes am I getting that right yes okay Phyllis yes honey what do you want to be famous for what
I want to be famous for I want to be famous for believe it or not it's not what I do in my business I love what I do but what I want to be famous for is I want to and I'm a cry um I want to be famous for helping teenpreneur I
want to help teens start businesses before they age out of the foster care system that is what I really want to do and when I was the thing that pulled me out of the restaurant was coaching kids on starting businesses based on their gifts talents and abilities because I don't think every kid
was made for for college and not every kid was meant to be broke but we leave them sitting there because they don't fit into the stem model because they don't fit into the Traditional School model no baby you ain't got to do that so it's always been on my heart to do that
and once I make the money that I want to make I don't need your [ __ ] grants I can go get my own money because I'm I want to do this for them I'm not even doing it for me and that's what I want to be famous for why is it so
important to you ah growing up the way that I did even though I had my mom and dad and mind you my dad didn't live in the house but I was still a dad girl I still spend a lot of time with my dad but just watching some of the kids and how
they grew up and how they thought that they didn't have anything they either had to play sports or they had to learn how to rap and that was the only thing that they were known to be good for it's the only thing people thought they could get him out of the situation that
they were in and I think that's a [ __ ] up place to leave them so it's it's always been on my heart to help who y'all who y'all want to throw away is who I want to go back and pick up it's also why I did I decided to help people with
branding at the solo level sweetie don't sit up here and dismiss who you are because you want to make some money you can still make your money and do what the [ __ ] you want to do and that's very important to me I don't condone a whole lot of [ __ ]
in the world but I respect your game I don't tolerate it I don't accept it but I respect your game I don't care I don't have to go in the spaces that you're in but I respect your game and a lot of people are dismissed and disrespected or they feel like they have
to change in order to say you know what I got to go do this because I got to get this paper I promised my mom a house and the only way I can do that I either got to go sell drugs I got a rapper I gotta play basketball [ __ ] that
sweetie it's a gift Challenge and ability some there somewhere that you can monetize but if you're going to monetize it you got to learn how to Brand it and Market it because otherwise it's always going to be a side hustle and I'm not here for that [ __ ] I'm not so while
you're growing up are you seeing people your age be to feel like that they're in in situations where they don't have a lot of options and they look at what's available to them and is this like from from your teen years you're seeing this and feeling this or is it later it's it's
all throughout my life because even seeing some grown people now that have a business I'm gonna respected and say they have a business but I see how they struggle from day to day but they try to put on this front like I'm balling out of control I got a business sweetie's saying you
have a business and running a successful business two different things and I want to help you but you figure like no I can do this myself you can't tell me how to do my [ __ ] this is why I only work with certain clients because I'm not going to sit up and
fight with you about your [ __ ] if you want to sit here and struggle for the next two years when we could have got this done in six months then baby do your thing so I see this and I like even when I know you've seen this when you see somebody call
themselves putting out or launching something and they got all this crazy ass curly cute font and they put the purple and gold on it and then they call it premium come on now that is not right but you don't know I bet you I admit I have made more money than you do
I yes I do know but I can only do so much and because I decided my business model was one to few instead of one to many I'm not taking on a whole lot of clients anyway so it's with the understanding that sweetie I see you and on occasion I will help I
will put out as much content as I can for free but I no longer let you pick my brain to the point of picking my pocket no I'm not doing that but if you want this work I'm standing right here I'm standing ten toes down in this ship right along with you but
I'm not fighting for you more than you fight for yourself if and this is where the [ __ ] comes in when I say empathic [ __ ] sweetie that empathy is gonna make me stand but if I'm doing most of the standing [ __ ] mode I'm out when you say somebody's
launching some new Premiere premium thing and and you're talking about the purple and the gold I think I know what you mean but you got to just describe it a little bit like what are you responding to what is it that's bothering you about this because I know that for one they they
can only charge say small amounts of money they want to be they want to be this premium in this luxury thing hence all the purple and gold but sweetie when you make [ __ ] too busy when you try to do too many things when you try to have too many offers and
too many [ __ ] too much [ __ ] on the table it actually detracts from what you're trying to do instead of making it more attractive and so when I see people do this and I like oh my God I can't even tell that because they're going to hear it and somebody's
gonna be triggered so I'm gonna leave that one alone but it's it's you can't abstract it a little bit um it's it's like because I own my ghetto country the reason I own it because this is where I'm comfortable when I when I use the code switch when I used to try and
use all the proper English and the big words and all that kind of stuff I would I wouldn't listen to you for the fact that I was trying to make sure I didn't say something stupid and so I'm in these rooms on clubhouse sometimes and I'm listening to these folks and it's like
could you please come just pronounce it correctly I don't care if it's it's a bad pronunciation but stop putting the G word g don't belong or even even it's oh my goodness um I was listening to this one person and if she said literally one more time I wanted to shoot her in
the face and is what is sweetie you don't have to use that language just because it's a word you can find your own language and part of building a brand is finding your language now I've literally was her word then sweetie used it more sparingly I'm sorry just just take it out if
you but every sentence shouldn't start with literally but you do develop especially if you mean figuratively really oh my God one of the words that I say to piss me off I say conversate Neil said it's Converse and it's really you think I don't know how to do so when I'm feeling very
facetious I say conversate but I know you know what if you want to converse it's not a problem but I but I do want to see people do better but like you say I can't save the world I really can't I tried that and it left me broken I don't want I don't
do broke no more so let's just say I'm struggling my life in my business and I'm seeing the Hallmarks of success fancy car nice suit nice hair whatever jewelry flashing bags and shoes and I'm struggling and then I say well that must signal to other people I'm successful so I'm gonna launch something
and I'm gonna follow someone else's game plan step outside of who I am in front and pretend and set up this facade so I'm doing the purple and the gold and I'm putting it out there where you like like Bobby Mary Jane whoever you are I know you you're struggling why why you
got to put up that stuff because nobody's buying it because it isn't even you you know there's like all these fake instagramers like who go on to like um The Lax uh LA airport and then there's there's jets that you can go in they're just props they're not they're not taken off and
they take pictures and they try to front is that the kind of stuff you're responding to or is it a little bit different no is that as well because it's it's I wouldn't probably never put anybody on blast which means I'm not gonna call them out on a [ __ ] I'm not
gonna do that to you in public but if I do see something that I could possibly just give you a little hint on something I'll send you something and the back channels or I send your email here's sweetie you might want to do this a little bit and but I found when I
do that people want to say well let me send you this can you check this for me no now you're trying to pick my pocket and so you have to be very careful when you try to help somebody adjust their Crown as we would say all of a sudden you know there's this
um there's this clip I think that's with Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson steps up to the microphone he's like Eddie can you adjust this and Eddie goes to Joshua you adjust your own freaking mic you know what who do you think I am are we talking about the same thing
here a little bit but there's a there's a thing that black women say a lot of times Queen address your crown so they don't want you out here looking crazy and all of that kind of stuff but sometimes they don't want their Crown adjusted they think they got it on straight and so
you like I say you have to be very careful but then also once when you do adjust and it's well received you have to you can't keep going down that rabbit hole of can you look at this well now can you help me with this because I tell people you got maybe two
or three times and I'm gonna have to tell you you got to roll me out my coin you're going to pay me you're gonna have to book a session and it was never meant to be that so when you're talking about adjusting somebody's crown and for you it's just different you know what
you get on you get on the future Pro calls and people ask you something and essentially sometimes you're adjusting people's Crown it's like yeah no don't do that that's not conducive to what you're trying to build as an agency that's you adjusting someone's Crown yeah but then they want to sit there and
it's like y'all know this is a limited room we only have Chris for an hour why are you trying to talk to him for 30 minutes that should be pissing me off laughs I thought you said you weren't gonna put anybody in blocks now they know who they are but no I'm not
calling out no names tune up some time now you know your name was sort of hinted at there okay yeah there's more than one you know that I know I know there's plenty actually um so so what we're talking about too is sometimes we try to help people yeah we notice something and
you're like hey you might want to adjust this and then they feel like oh I got some value there and what else should I do if I listening okay hey come on yeah I'm trying to help you a little bit here don't take advantage of my kindness and generosity right if you want
me to help respect that that my time ain't free and help help me help you help yourself yeah and we can do that so it is a tough line to like to draw because sometimes we want to give and then people I don't think they do it maliciously all the time but they
all they see a helping hand they grab all the hand the shoulder the rest of the Torso and they drag you into their mess right yeah I had somebody reach out to me on clubhouse saying um I want to work with you and I read through here but text three paragraphs now at
the bottom is like I but I can't pay you but when I make my trillions I break you all billions get the [ __ ] up out of here a good line though it's all Bs but I I respect the line yeah it don't work but yeah yeah it's funny at least you're
funny yeah okay um I don't want to leave this um this Loop open so I want to close this part you said that I want to be famous for something that I'm not doing right now you said you want to help teenagers figure out their entrepreneur game before they age out of the
Foster system part of my ignorance here do we age out of the Foster system at 18 yes so you you need to reach this teenager I mean it's because they're not going to happen overnight these kind of Transformations not instantaneous we're talking about 13 14 that you have to coach them up 15
or 17. I want them 16 or 17. okay at least a year before they age out okay and then they have to have the wherewithal to know that they can they can become independent business people not follow some crazy plan they have to be able to seek you out find you and to
be open enough to work with you and apply what it is that you teach them there's a lot of conditions on this thing for this to work and there are and so like once I once I go back into that round because that's what cko created was about cheap kid officers so once
I get back into that I will connect with agencies and it will still be limited it may be only 10 kids at a time or something like that because you you can't just walk up to me and say well I want to be an entrepreneur well baby what do you do well I
thought you would help me start a business if you don't know I don't know it doesn't work like that you have to have some type of gift talent and ability that we can monetize and now we can turn it into a brand and Market it but just walking up to me telling me
you want to make some money you I don't care to not get the [ __ ] home don't play like that so is it is with the understanding that that I know my services will be will be limited but I I also know that that would probably be the one time that if
I have to move into a classroom where I would do one to many in that respect but the folks that will get the one-on-one would be very limited okay so here's what I've been picking up from you so far correct me where I'm wrong please so you you grew into understanding how to
run a business because you and your husband started a business and you handled everything Finance Marketing sales customer relations basically everything that isn't making the product and putting a smile of face on it so you have your business jobs from the School of Hard Knocks I believe right yes and then along the
way you also start to figure out that people don't understand who they are they're trying to be all kinds of things other people so you start to figure out you know what I need to help people figure out their true self and to be brave enough and courageous enough to present that to
the world is there another component to what it is that you are able to do and help people with the way that I work um I know that that we talk about personal branding a lot and people think because I do have a strong personal brand that I do personal branding and I've
only recently accepted the realization that I kind of do only because part of how you build your brand as a business the one you have to have a personal brand and a business brand so you cannot build from you cannot build over here if you haven't established over here so establishing that personal
brand that feeds the business that endorses the business I don't want you out here pitching and feeling all kinds of sideways let's learn how to endorse this [ __ ] just like you endorse any other business or anything else that you love you can endorse your business and not feel creepy in salesy
and all that kind of stuff so it's with the understanding that okay let's deal with this personal brand and then we're going to find a way to build it into the business brand and so it's it one of the things I help with and we talked about it is the two-word brand I
love to wear branding because it can set the foundation for how you scale even if you don't have a full-on brand strategy being an empathic [ __ ] or being the ghetto country grandmother being a ghetto country grandmother I don't talk about I'm on platforms no I got a house on YouTube I
got a house on Tick Tock so I talk about it in that format I talk about my my clients being my brand babies and so all of it comes from me being a grandmother in the nurturing that I do I don't help you I nurture you so understanding these things when you come
up with a two-word brand that you can actually scale it into something more but you have to realize where to draw the line it's like okay my personal brand starts to end here now I'm falling into business brand territory and I have to let everybody else magnify this while I maintain my personal
brand it's just like you constantly you are crystal and people see you as a brand but you're always endorsing the future you don't pitches you don't sell it you just talk about it and a lot of people think that oh what Christian Chris don't say I've yet to see you sell anything but
you constantly endorse the future program even now as you the only thing the first time I ever seen you do something like along the lines of selling was when you start talking about your European tour that's the only time but any other time you don't pitch [ __ ] and people gotta understand
sweet you don't have to always beat people over the head with what it is that you offer but because you built up that Authority and that expertise it's like I can just walk in a room and say my name and be like Oh Chris Chris no hahaha that is a dramatization of something
that may or may not happen I'm just gonna put that out there okay it's funny because people my team um they'll tell me like when you leave the room people start Fanning out it's like okay I don't know I don't see and it's it's all good by me yeah for for people who
are not familiar with this concept what is the two-word brand to you to our brand could be something as as obvious as like like I say me being the ghetto country grandmother but then my actual two-word brand is more of a description of being the empathic [ __ ] so it sets the
tone of how I will work with you it's like sweetie I got all the love but my love comes with violence when it needs to and so you're able to work everything around that and it makes the conversation more engaging if I walk into a room people say what do you do I'm
an empathic [ __ ] wait what and it's funny because people are afraid to actually use the word [ __ ] when I say it so it makes them a little uncomfortable but they still want to know more and so when you use a two-word brand when you're whether it's in your how
you learn to use it in your bio how you learn to use it in a conversation at a conference at a networking event there's all these different ways that you can use it and lean into it that that help you to establish your Authority and your expertise and people need to stop making
it so complicated actually on the fact that that this is who you are you recently did a podcast with Sean and Sean tells everybody Village told me to lean into my crazy no I told you to own your crazy but you want to use lean all the time you go ahead and lean
dude but it's it's with that that understanding on the crazy that you that you want to put out there don't let somebody else weaponize it against you use it as your strength on something be okay with it I mean I think we've touched on this and I'll try to bring it all together
for everyone listening because phyllis's mind moves really fast she's a very creative person creative with words and descriptions and I'll do the boring part and try to explain some of it to you sorry if I man explain this everyone come on man explain yeah let me let me try so when when people
ask you what you do people get this thing it's called diarrhea of the mouth they start shooting all kinds of things and it's like it's too much it's too much you're taking up too much time too much space and I like you but I don't like you that much so we know a
couple of things the way the human brain works if you make me work too hard it consumes more energy and I'm gonna fall asleep it's what happens in lecture Halls we've done it we've been a part of it we've been on both sides of that right yes so what you have to do
is you have to fight against complexity because complex things are hard to understand they're hard to remember and you're just asking too much from the other person so we got to make it simple and so what we find is if we can distill it down to one word that would be incredible and
next best is two words now you have a one word brand which is brand mother and I love that basically you've smashed two words together and you're using your very creative brain say grandmother or grandmother and you find that connection and when you know it's a good connection is when you think how
obvious but how cool why didn't I think of that that's the Hallmark of a good idea when it's like huh that's a terrible idea because it's like you smash two words together but it didn't come together elegantly and anybody can smash two words together right yeah so it takes Elegance it takes intelligence
and creativity to bring these things together so you've done what I would consider the hat trick which is I try to tell people find two words in juxtaposed together that allow you to occupy a very unique space not one of one but one of few that's all we need to do so that
it creates Intrigue and people are like tell me more that's so interesting and it oh you own not only the strengths of you but also some of the vulnerability I think that's where the magic is yeah so everybody wants to say I'm a creative Visionary like yeah everybody else says the same thing
it's just good on top of good and it's probably not even true so we try to find these two words and the way I try to describe it to people is there's usually the Persona the person who you show up in public as how you try to be like all buttoned up you
know I'm not trying to say anything I dressed up for this call I think you dressed up a little bit you're not going to sit there and just throw on your pajamas you know so we we show up a little bit because we want respect and we want to be seen in a
certain way nothing wrong with that yes but if you all if that's all you do you lose who you are yes so the other side is to lean into the Shadow the things that we have some shame or guilt around that we're afraid that if people find out about this they're not going
to like me so much but in actuality truth strength comes from embracing what it is that is inside your Shadow your vulnerability I was just on this program where somebody uh I'm facing his name right now he was helping me with my purpose map and he he pulled this line and he said
in the shadow are glimmers of divinity wow it points to your these little gold flakes are part of like what makes you you so when you're you're doing the brand mother now some people's like well why would you celebrate that you're older that you could be a grandmother because that's part of who
you are I've always been a mom even before I had a child there you go and so we put these things together and we find this now I was talking to Joey Capone on an interview with him about the laws of creativity he says if you take any one dimension of who you
are and we have multiple Dimensions you are one of ten thousand let's say there's ten thousand variables like of different types of skin color different types of eyes or different kinds of of uh of sports or whatever it is there's ten thousand variables so if you're one variable you're one of ten thousand
but if you take two variables together it's ten thousand to the second power which I think is a million if you take three variables it's a billion and you take four it becomes a trillion I believe wow so this is why we try to encourage people you and I and we take different
approaches but the result is the same is to help people not only understand like how they want to show up but who they really are and that the overlap in a Venn diagram the two circles in that center part is something fairly unique and that's what you try to help people find in
their two-word brand yeah right yes um my clients have taken on names you know the ratchet Sage you know the ethical strategist but then there's the brand Misfit there is my husband is now the hospitable box um I just I can't say hers because it has an African dialect to it but one
of my other class she calls herself the a hotel Whisperer and these are different things that people lean into and they own because like I say this is part of what they want to be famous for and so it's it's with the understanding that sweetie my client like I say half my clients
don't cuss like me you met the ratchet stage that's probably about as close as you're gonna get to to how I how I operate but then everyone else is like I don't I don't know how to show up as myself and I think they get scared because they wonder if people are still
going to like them sweetie the thing about it is when you create it you create the attractiveness of what people like people are drawn to you for a reason and if you own that part one of the easiest way I tell them to find it if you're not gonna work with me this
is how you do it why do your friends like you if you don't know go ask them why do they like you and tell them to tell you the weird [ __ ] not the not the the [ __ ] that everybody else sees why do they like you do you touch your
spoon to your nose or something why do they like you and lean into that part of it and then find a way to tie it to what it is that you do so when we talk about the brand Misfits she talks about her journey of like all these missteps she has but then
also the Misfits of her clients that come to her when they're struggling trying to build their websites so there's Misfits all up and through so she can own that thing I've been in Misfit since day one and she gets to tell that story and their Journey based on that Misfit Journey when when
Caz came to me and she came to me totally differently but when she started leaning into the the ethical strategist we had to fight about this operational hummingbird I'm like girl please lose that [ __ ] but it had to be on her terms and she finally did but it that was the
thing it did not fit but the ethical strategies I understand that because when she talks about policies and procedures as they affect your internal community it hits different and she can have that conversation so it allows you to bring out a story that you want somebody to ask you about so that you
can have the conversation it is the thing that leads to you not having to pitch but you know what let me hook you with this one ass line and I bet you don't want to talk to my ass the rest of the night why do you think it's so hard for people to
figure out their two-word brand it's something because I I do speak on this subject and people are like what about this that's boring that's generic you're not telling me anything new it's just so people need help with this but why do you think it's so difficult for people because they're trying to find
all of their good qualities and they're they're afraid to to be vulnerable a lot of people are afraid to be vulnerable in public I am very as private as I am I'm very transparent I don't really have any secrets I met my husband on the internet and we spilled all our beings over
the internet but it's it's it takes a level of bravery no I won't even say Brave it takes a level of Courage because courage means you do it afraid and so when you decide that you're going to step out and it's like oh this is uncomfortable but I like it it's like when
somebody come along and smack you when your wife smack you on your ass ooh baby you know that kind of thing my wife does not do that so I'm gonna have a character to try a couple of times there's there's something that that when you start trying on something new it's meant to
be uncomfortable because you have to learn to lean into it so when you start to lean into it you begin to like it more and because it gives you a level of confidence for any room you walk into that's why you begin to embrace it because nobody else is walking in the room
with this thing nobody else is walking in the room as an empathic [ __ ] or a ghetto country grandmother so I get to put on my big girl panties and show up like the [ __ ] I want to and so when you talk about being a loud introvert y'all might yeah
y'all gonna drain my energy but I'm gonna be loud as [ __ ] I'm up in here now and you get to own that and this is with that understanding that you know what if you're going to be famous if you're going to be loud because baby you're a business of one you
got to be the loudest one in the room how are you gonna do that and two where branding helps you do that it helps you hook people it helps you be engaging it helps you be memorable because walking in the room is feeling Y'all Gonna Be remember you'll forget my name as soon
as I turn my back but if I tell you to go Google ghetto country grandmother well I'm gonna remember that [ __ ] so I don't care if you never look up Phyllis Williams Trotter I bet you you would go look up ghetto country grandmother it is different that's a good clue though
what you said is if it doesn't make you uncomfortable it's probably not a good two-word brand because part of the discomfort is to lean into some of your vulnerability the things that you're afraid to show the world but when you can own it it's powerful stuff yes it really is and so we've
been taught maybe not you maybe not me but when I say we we've been taught how to fit in to society to be accepted to be loved and to be appreciated so so much conditioning goes on that we then forget who we are and that's why oftentimes you need an external person to
look at you to see you for who you are and to highlight not only the good because a lot of people can do that but to highlight some of the things that you know aren't perfect about you but it is you and you're not going to change that part and you've learned to
embrace it I refer to this as part of like the Eight Mile rule with Eminem and be rabbit right where the final moments in the the climax of the movie he does the battle rap and he takes away all the ammunition from the his opponent and leaves him speechless and destroys him that
way yeah because he professes all the things that he's that would be critical uh negative things about him that then the other rapper has no material to work with destroys him and that's when you step into your true power when you step into your light and out of the darkness yeah and I
think it's a beautiful thing when you can help people find this and it's not an easy thing to do it might be easier for someone like Phyllis but it's a wonderful thing to do if there's something else that you did that I just want to point out and highlight to people and what
what you do is I've only seen a handful of other people be able to do this where you have an idea and you're able to Riff on that idea and build sub brands in a whole language or lexicon around one central idea this person I'm thinking of his name is Johnny Cupcakes and
I want to illustrate this I want to connect it to you so allow me to go there for a second okay so Johnny Earl AKA Johnny Cupcakes comes up with the uh a t-shirt brand that serves no baked goods but he deliberately does things to Riff on this whole Bakery thing so he
has affiliate partners he doesn't call them affiliate partners he calls them bake dealers or cake I'm sorry he calls them cake dealers okay so he's playing around here a little bit right and he doesn't put his shirts on shelves he puts them inside refrigerators and you don't get the shirt that you buy
in a in a bag or a box you get inside of a bakery takeaway box and he doesn't have you know he has a menu so he's he's understood a theme he knows how to build it now you said this so quickly then unless you're really carefully paying attention you might have missed
it so I want to go back a little bit when you said Phyllis was you said I'm the ghetto country grandmother I'm not on social platforms I have a house did you say brand house or just house no I said I got a house I take it you got a house yeah right
and then you don't have clients you have brand babies so you build you're building something and each time someone understands the language and the creativity that goes in with the way you describe things it it goes all the way back yeah to get a country grandmother yeah and you do that so well
so you have a gift with language and I remember the time when I was in a room with you and your two friends spinning around I was like oh my God you need to have a podcast because you're way with words and you're wordsmithing and you're doing it on the Fly maybe some
of it's premeditated but I don't care it feels good and I'm thinking this woman is special she has no Talent she has a gift and that's why I wanted to invite you on today's podcast so you can share some of that magic some of that ghetto country grandmother magic with the world well
I appreciate it sweetie I'm gonna tell you something I was talking to Matthew and I can never say his name Matthew C and he was telling me his story about I'm sorry being blind and deaf in one ear and all of that kind of stuff and he was talking about how he was
talking about inclusion and we were just having a conversation I said sweetie you need to become the neuro for top because you talk about your neurodiversity and you're with that photographer and you're trying to tie those two things together you need to become the neural for top and whenever you get on on
the stage and you're speaking you need to have a mic in one hand in the camera another and you're taking pictures and you're giving your speech like you know what look at what when we talk about this and we're looking at the lens and what it captured when you can't see the diversity
in the room because your lens is so small and so tight when you don't see the bigger picture so it's like there's a way that you can turn around and like I say you build on it you start speaking the language it's no different than any comedian when he has a mic in
his hand and his his drink is on the stool you'll be able having a two-word brand is so conducive to how you can grow and build and and expand your business so don't be afraid of it I want to ask you for one of your secrets here so you're the ghetto country grandmother
how does that inform the clothes you wear the colors you pick or does it [ __ ] [Laughter] I'm just teeing you up here so you take it um I am believe it or not I'm a fan of the classics they don't represent a whole lot of black people but I am a
fan of the classics like Lena Horne and and especially Eartha Kitt and all of them but I'm also a big fan of the Thin Man I don't know if you know that movie but it's it's a style and a Vibe I love a good Fedora but I also love a good bourbon and
a cigar and so even though those are things that I do in my life I also bring them to my brand when I'm in a meeting with clients depending on the time of day if we're doing a six o'clock call then sweetie got her bourbon right here my cigar is right here and
my clients feel comfortable enough and I'm gonna tell y'all some of my clients we when we're having a session they got their joint they weed they whatever they they Vape in because it's not about that it's about the work now you get to decide outside of this room if that's what you want
to show to the world I don't mind showing it but that doesn't mean that you have to do it sweetie if you don't want anybody to know and see you rolling the joint and all that kind of stuff then don't put it out there but just recognize that if somebody somebody else tells
your story and you can even talk about it without ever showing it you know what every once in a while I get a little faded and you can share that but you don't have to show it because now like you say you're taking that that weapon away from somebody else who wants to
try to put you on blast about oh you shouldn't work with her because she smokes weed seriously you think I can rock this game with a little joint in my hand I don't smoke weed personally but I grew up with around it all my life and so you get to understand that that
I get to I get to be the part of me that I want to be within my brand and just like you you would not but people don't believe that I'm introverted I promise you I don't people suck the life out of me but I don't mind but trust and believe once I'm
done you might not hear from me for two or three days but it's because I love what I do and I I tell people to take the word help out of their their their their whole brand part of it but because I want to nurture people and I want to pour into people
that's why I do this and I want you I want to pour enough into you where you can stand up on your own I don't want to give you a bunch of fish [ __ ] you learn how to fish on your own that's your job you got to feed yourself so how
are we gonna do this I'm here as long as you need me but I want you to grow to the point that you don't so that would be my love it so you might see Phyllis holding a cigar with one leg up on a chair other hand holding a glass of bourbon is
a bourbon it's bourbon yeah because I don't drink at all the whole culture is strange to me I don't smoke I don't drink I don't cuss but somehow you're gonna have to become friends and it's kind of fascinating you know it's like that's a conversation for another day we'll conversate on that later
now the reason why I just want to say this is we're trying to help people build their brand and to help to push their business forward and you've connected a couple ideas you have your business brand you have your personal brand the personal brand allows you to be you and it informs people
of the business because businesses can be cold and generic and corporate and we understand that what that is what it is and you can shine bright and some of that light can fall on your business and it could work in unison together we talked about finding your two-word brand and building a lexicon
a whole vocabulary of distilling that core idea down to everything that you do so it trickles back up and reinforces the brand yeah and we just talked about one last part of it which is the way that your brand lives in the real world because it's not always what you write it's about
how you live how you carry yourself how you present and if they're all in unison and it's truly you then it makes it very strong believable and authentic so I'm a loud introvert so what that really means is I'm a shy person by my nature I would rather just be at home with
my computer but I have to push myself out there because I know that's going to hold my business back and you feel the same way we got to show up for what we got to do to do the media stuff to step into the light temporarily we'll take our nap later but we
will do it so for me the loud introvert is a person who wears bold prints colors typography maybe a little bit flashy from here to there because that's how I'm able to get people to come to talk to me and so you can see this becomes not just words we write on a
piece of paper but how we govern our lives and how we make decisions and what kind of actions we take right and I want people to know that so Phyllis and I are not out here saying let's craft something that a is not U and B is something that's just on a piece
of paper that we can all smile and Pat each other on that good work today right no it has to be something that is useful to you that becomes a part of you because it is you and I would not settle for for words that don't have that kind of power Phyllis I
could talk to you for a couple more hours I can't but I want to make sure that I do ask this for people who are intrigued by who you are your energy your Vibe your ethos and also if they want to help you with building this entrepreneurship program for teenagers who you want
to help and support how did they find out more about you where did they go please tell us you can always go to grandma'shouse.com you can find my houses on YouTube Tick Tock and um various places Twitter you can either look for GC brand mother those are where I do my personal thing
but then there's also Grandma's house so Grandma's house is on Facebook it's on YouTube and all of those because I try and keep them separate they have similar voices but trust and believe they are different and so I and then you can always send an email and my email is holla at Grandma's
house h-o-l-l-a holla at Grandma's house because my brand baby's Hollow for real for real so there you go thank you so much thank you sweetie this was fun
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