Scarcity Abundance Mindset

How to work on expandingyour abundance mindset?Watch all the videos.I wouldn't mindhearing about that.Yeah, yeah, so that'sa lot of videosand that I wouldlove for everybodyto watch all the videos,but that's a lot of videos.So one can presumeor assume that you'rein a scarcity mindsetand what's the differencebetween a scarcity mindsetand abundance mindset?And I want to first talkabout the scarcity mindset.So if you sufferfrom this, if youfeel like this is what isplaguing you right now,I'd like for you to just bringyourself online and let'stalk a little bit.So I have a betterunderstanding of whatyour world view looks like.So those are youguys that feel like.Man, there's only somany jobs out there,and if I lose thisone, that's it,so I have to make sureevery single job I land.That's part of thescarcity mindset.That there's a finite amountof opportunities and clientsout there for you.Hey, Bonnie Stan,good to see youhaven't seen you in a while.I just notice your face there.So anybody and anybodywith the scarcity mindset.I don't have a scarcity.I have a lack mindset.And so I dealt with that.It's Diane.No, I know Diane.I can recognize your voice.You have a verydistinctive voice.But I mean, what isthe lack mindset?So one of my clients actuallytaught me about this.So instead of thinking thatgood things will happen,I end up prepping in my brain.I hope for the goodand I'm very hopeful.But I mean, your camera justgot really close on you.I know it's freaking out.Let me sit back.Anyway, sorry, itwas like, really?It was like, it's Zoom.I think Zoom isfreaking out, ok?So anyway, Thanks a lot, Chris.Did it again.Let me work on it.Keep going.Keep talking.So lack thinking is in thinkingthat the worst is goingto happen insteadof really preppingmy brain for the good thingsthat are going to happen.It's not quite scarcity,but it's close.I'm listening, I'm listeningto you the whole time.I know I'm done.OK, so the zooming in onmy face is a distractionfor everybody and for me, none.Dang, I don't wantto see me that close.It's too much.Too close.Very too close.Yeah, it is too close.OK so there's this idea thatgood things will happen,and then there's like maybe apessimistic dark side, whichis I wonder if any good thing.We'll ever happen.Somebody else want to speakon this a little bit more.Hi, Chris, is Abby.Hi, Abby.Hey I have been in thatsituation myself, whereI have had quite a not Iwouldn't say a negative mindsetabout abundance, butit's more in your mind,you know, intellectually,that there are unlimited kindof possibilities.You know, that there's anamazing source of whatever youwant.But then there's this kindof other bit inside youthat kind of doubts that feelingwhen something crap happensor something goes wrong oryou suddenly find yourselfworking all the hours andhaven't got, you know,it's not happening.You do get this littlevoice that goes,well, actually, is it reallygoing to happen or is it,you know, have you?Is it an abundant source ofeverything or if they just kindof miss me on the way?So it's kind of the differencebetween intellectuallyknowing that that's the case.And knowing herethat that's the caseis quite a tough oneto breach, actually,and one that I'mstill working on.So, OK, so we'vedone this exercisebefore when to do itagain because there's somany people in the group.So when you say like, it'snot going to work out for me,is it really going to happen?Whose voice is thatmy mom's voice?OK, Yeah.Is your mom still around?Is she?Oh, she's Yeah.And she's not verypresent in my life,but she is still onthis Earth somewhere.OK, so she still has somepower over you, right?She does, Yes.OK, so what we have to do is wehave to reconcile this somehowbecause this is going toplug you the end of your daysand this is the problem.Look, we have to settle theseunresolved issues because welook up to our parents.We depend on them forsurvival and their habitsbecome our habits.Their questions becomeour internal voiceand we have to reallyaddress this somehow.So when I noticed this and youguys will see me sometimes,OK, I'm going to just get real.Just this is going toget real real right now.You guys will see me behaveand act poorly on camerawhen people give me advice,when it's unsolicited opinions.And it's because I have madea very deliberate intentin my life to focus in onmy own thoughts and beliefs.And so I don'tleave a lot of roomfor other people's opinions.Right and you can interpretthat as good behavioror bad behavior.I'm just going toleave it open for now.So when somebodyin my life walks byand they look at adesign that I'm doing.And it could be my children,my mom, my dad or friendsor people at theoffice, and theystart giving their opinions.So like, I even askyou for your opinion.So right now, itdoesn't feel so good.And usually the peoplewho give these opinionsare usually uninformed.They have a reaction.Maybe they just wantto connect with you.Maybe their intent isreally from a good place,I can't tell, but from me,it's like, I just don't reallywant to hear it.Because I'm workingon my thing now,that's a big differencebetween me showing my workor coming to my therapist andsaying, hey, man, I need help.Can you give me your thoughtson this or my business coach?And there's a bigdifference, so we'regetting unsolicited opinionsfrom everybody all the time,and they're attacking us allthe time if you let them in.And what I findkind of odd and verycommon within thecreative communityis we have this castle, thefortress is built really well,but for some reasonwe so easily likelower the gate to let allthese negative opinions in.And then not only dowe not address them,we start to harborthem and then theystart to become part of howwe think about ourselves.And if you're notvery mindful of this,it starts to become your owninternal voice and you think,that's me thinkingthis all the time.So somehow we need to be ableto pull that out from us.Abby, and you've done this aspart of the boot camp, right?Yes we address it.We have to address it.We have to workout these issues.There's another way tothink about this that'sbeen very helpful forme in terms of thinkingabout your child, yourreal or imaginary childrendoesn't really matter.So if little Abby cameup to you and said,hey, mom, I'm notfeeling this and I'm justfeel like this isnot going to happen.What kind of advice wouldyou give to this person?Well, came up to me, andI don't give him a big hugand just say it willhappen, you know,if you want to and just be therefor them to kind of talk to meand tell me what they'refeeling and sit on my lapand probably just wrapthem with some chocolateor something, ok?I don't know.I think it would just be that myreaction if one of my childrencame up to me and said, youknow, said something like thatwould be to give them ahug and say, what can Ido to help you through thisor help you to the next step?Or what do you need?That would be my reaction.OK, do you have kidsI can't remember?Yeah, I've got a 17-year-oldand a 14-year-old.Oh my goodness.OK, Yeah.I thought you were like thisfree spirit running Earth.Running on Earth.OK, so you've beenthrough this before?Yeah, Yeah.All parents know whatI'm talking about.Let's just pretend, though,that you don't for everybodythat doesn't have a child.OK and I'll be a little Abby.And I want you to talk to me inyour best nurturing, supportivevoice.OK OK, give me alittle situation.So I can make ithit home for you.OK, so little.Abby is feeling sadbecause she didn't.She hasn't gone togoing to college.She wanted to.OK But give me a situationwhere little Abby is actuallyliving your life, butjust as a little person.So I want to talk about college.I want to talk about work.Or if you have that, are real.OK OK, so little.Abby is working lots of hoursand losing her bank accountand thinks, Oh dear.How have I not got any money?This got real.Yeah, that's real.So what's the thought process?What's the negativevoice say to you?It says, well, obviouslyyou're not good enough.Obviously, you'renot good enoughto get the higherpaying clients.You spend too much moneyand you don't save enough.You don't have acontrol of your budget.Lots of things.Yeah goodness, that justcame out really too fast.Oh, media oh, wow, OK.OK, therapy here.Ok?OK, so mom, I've beenworking for a little while,but I just I look at mybank account and there's.There's not a lot there, and Ijust feel like a total loser,like, why isn't my lifemore together now, mom?Oh, Darling, give me a hugand just tell me about it,tell me what's happened thismonth, what good things havehappened this month?Well I don't knowwhat to tell you,I don't know it really well.I'm good on my diet this month.And I think the fewclients that I have.I mean, it's gone really well.They like the work.They like me.Awesome So everyone hasDowns and UPS and timeswhen it feels a bit tough.And you know, the last timewe had a great client thatloved you and youget all these people,I know that you've told me thatcome back and work with you.And then they come back andwork with you again and again,and you do get good feedback.So, you know, this monthmight be a bit tightand you know, you did break thatweekend away, and that's fine.But then that'syou've got to lookat what you've done this month.That's really positive.He had all that fun.You did all that.You know, you putthose lovely new shoes.Yeah, Yeah.Too much.I mean, should I be spendingmoney on all these things?And it is my measureto society to you.Like what you should do.What you feel is makesyou feel good and.But there's nomoney in the bank.I'm worried about tomorrow.OK, what can you dotoday to make tomorrowseem a bit easier, but pointing?I'm stuck.Ok?do you have anyoneyou can reach outto see if they have anyother work that you could do?All those past people thathave given me such ravingreviews and.And wonderful words aboutwhat you've done for them.HMM, maybe.OK, I'm going tocall timeout here.I'm not sure what'sreally going on here.It's like, it's interesting howyou parent yourself, though.Yeah, Wow.Is this how youtalk to yourself?Now, can you talk to me?Oh, no, the big.Yeah yeah, that'squite disconcerting.And the voice, that's kind ofthe voice that you can't stopsays those negative thingsbefore you can even say them.It's just like an electricityresponse in your mind.And Oh OK.Perfect Oh Yeah.OK, now we're getting someplace.OK, so there's some mindfulnessexercises that we can do.I think right now youfeel and you thinkand you observe and there'sno separation for you.And we need toput some distance.We need to create a witnessto your life, and that's you,you witnessing your ownlife and your own feelings.And then as the witness?You get to decide in themoment how you want to respond.Sometimes you do want torespond with feelings.Acts of love andanger and jealousy,and all those kinds of things.But at least we need to puta little distance so that youcan make that decision.Yeah, so the exercise wasto allow you to see yourselffrom a third point of view.What we need to dois we need to startto develop this as part ofhow we conduct our lives allthe time.I think I've told youguys this story before,but when I was much younger,probably nine or 10 years old,I lost some money and Iwas beating myself up overand I was like, you stupid,you dummy, you dummy.You're so irresponsible assaying all these things.And I wanted to cry.Maybe I did cry andI blamed everybody.I blamed everybody but myself.And I came up to my momand asked my mom, mom, dad,did you see this money?And I lost, I don'tknow where it is.Somebody must have taken it.And she just asked mevery systematically,and this is just her beingamateur psychotherapist for meand saying, do youthink I took it?No your father, yourbrothers, anybody in his housemight have taken it.Do you suspect anyof them would wantto take your stuff like that?I said no.So I had just come togrips that I just lost it.It disappearedand that no amountof feeling bad orbeating myself upover it would produce apositive result. So none of thissounds a little freaky,but even at nine years old,I'm like now becoming aware ofmy own thoughts and feelingsand saying, you know,regret like how do wefeel about the idea of regret?No amount of wishing it tocome back will ever come back,and I'm only producing morenegative feelings about myself.So I made a promiseto myself at that age,I'm going to discard regret asan emotion, it's useless to me.So the filter alreadystarts to begin,is this going to help me,is this going to hurt me?Is this going to buildme up or tear me down?So these what you're doingwith the pretend little Abbyis you're trying to pushthe conversation awayfrom the negative thoughts.So the more positivethoughts, that'swhat you're doingthe whole time focuson the good focus on the good.And maybe you as a personexperiencing yourself,those electrical impulses,the feelings that you feelthere is nobody directing it.So it just goesdown that channel.So I think all of you guys,I'm turning off my camerawhenever that happens.So all of you guyswho are experiencingthis scarcity mindset,you're focusing so muchon the negative parts and youneed to switch your energy.You need to switchit really fast.You need to become aware andbecome the witness, if you can.Now there's not enoughtime or expertise for me.Got expertise for methat I can actuallywalk you through all this.So I would recommendthat everybodythat's feelingthis to go actuallyseek the help of aprofessional someone who'strained to helpyou through this.I believe I've recommendedthis book 1,000 times,but 1,001 won't hurt in that.Try the conquering yourcritical inner voicebook by Dr. Firestone.Give it a shot.It's the cheapest formof therapy you can get.See what happens?Chris, can I add something?Of course.Awesome what's up,gang squad, anyway?I think something that Christouched on that a lot of usmay have difficulty whenwe're on that journeyto personal growth is thathe took a moment to really.And if I'm inferringincorrectly,let me know andthen I'll just speakin general is that wehave to take a secondto really understand whatthose negative emotions feellike for us to switch.So a lot of us willthink on the positive.When we haven't made sense ofwhy we're feeling negativelyand why we're hurtingand accepting thoseas is to then be able tojustify thinking positivelybecause the remnants ofthose negative emotions stilllinger because we haven'tmade full understanding.So in Chris's example ofhim losing the money and allof that, he had to continuouslyask himself or even experiencethe regret to then be ableto come back and ask himself.OK I don't want to feel thisanymore because of what I justfelt. So I would encourageand challenge thatbecause this isan ongoing processand that if you're inthat place right now,maybe take a day to selfreflect and ask yourself,why am I feeling this way?What's the consequence of thesenegative feelings and thenidentify what you don't want tofeel like and do the oppositebecause it can be easyto say it's a switch.But to know whatto switch to, youhave to identifywhat you don't want.Mm-hmm So I think youjust mentioned somethingI think is probablyimportant for us to practice,to develop this muscle is.Oh, it's killing me.Yeah, why is italways happening?Ok? is to just keepa journal or diaryand start writing this down.So at the end ofthe day, at leastif you can't do it in themoment in real time, whichis understandable.Just write down likeyour feelings, like,here's how I feltabout these things.Because that gives you distance.We've done this many timesbefore within this group.It's interesting,like when you'rein the call with theclient, you can't figure outwhat the issue is.But when we watch other peopledo it, it's so easy for usto pick apart like, oh,you weren't listening,you shouldn't takethat personally.You should lean in hereand stop talking about thisbecause nobody was payingattention to you, right?Nobody so we had said that maybethe thing that we can all dois record ourselves duringthese calls and listen back.So that begins theprocess of understandingwhat your own voice sounds likeand being able to see yourselffrom a different vantage point.So everybody that'sstruggling throughthat, I hope that you're doingthat, that you are recordingyourself one way or theother and to step back nowin real life, it's not possibleto do this because there's notcameras following youaround all the timeunless you're sometimes meor Gary Vaynerchuk and youcan't really reviewhow you've said things.So the journal is a good way.So there's some separationbetween the person whofelt that and theperson observing it,the witness, if you will.So I think that'swhat we need to do.We need to designourselves and the waywe think as ushaving some distancefrom the person who is feelingand seeing and thinkingto the person observing thosethat person feeling, thinkingand seeing.And then we can make differentdecisions for ourselves.We need to always coursecorrect and think like the talkthat I gave at creativeSouth and at AIG.It's the same talk theworkshop I'm about to do.It starts to define a processand a framework for youto take an input and changethe output through your lens.If you change your lens andhow you look at the world,everything can change.So that's thatstep in the middlethat interrupts that pattern.OK, now I see a coupleof hands raised,keng, since you haven'tspoken, bring yourself online.Let's talk.So you answered allof it in that rant.Well, I don't prefer torefer to that as a rant, nota rant, soliloquy, a monologue.I'm just kidding.OK, that's good.That's good.Thank you.OK, and then Isee a NAT and nat,did you want tojump back in there?Or that's still thehang up that I stillhave another questionI want to ask you.That's not on the chart, Bob.Bob's your uncle.Let's do it.Yeah and all right, I'll dropsome real talk on you guys now.I am a recoveringaddict and alcoholic,so I have deep expertisein this struggleand I'm fortunate tohave a lot of clean time.Things are supergood, but I haveto be constantlyaware of my tools.One of the things I'velearned about this imposterinside of me and thissort of scarcity mindsetis that it's nottrue that and thatgoes to what you'retalking about,because without beingable to have that switchto reframe how you'rethinking about it, evenas an academic exercise,saying to yourself,what if I thought about thisin exactly the opposite way?How could I reframe this?And it becomes a way to do that.The other thing thatI have to focus onis not focusingon outcomes, and Idon't want to getmetaphysical with you guys.Some of you may be,some of you may not be.But one thing I figured outabout the universe and my placein it is I am in thebusiness of action.The universe is in thebusiness of resultsand that I need to thinkabout the next best action.So if I'm having a scarcitymindset situation first,I need to say, OK,what about this?Do I have controlof what about this?Do I not have controlof what could Ifocus on in the spectrum ofthings I have control of?Now, what one thing could Ido right now today to movefrom scarcity to abundance?And then I just startstacking those things episodeby episode, minute byminute change, by change.And then I look at itagain in a little whileand things have shifted.So I could talk alot about all this.But and anybody who wantsto talk more about it,feel free to hit meup because I loveto talk about thiskind of stuff.But but understandingthat we onlyhave control over our actions.And so if we focus on the nextright action, the next actionthat moves us fromscarcity to abundance.Just on that right now, in thisminute, then the next minute,the next thing, the next minute,the next thing you'll find,you'll make the move withouteven thinking about it.I love that, Bob.So bob, I want to followup with you later.To to have you mayberun one of our calls.Oh, and bob, by the way.Drop the Mike and leavethe room, that was awesome.So bob, let's dothat and I'm gladyou opened up tous because you'recreating space for everyonealso to feel like it'sOK to share like this.And that's really why I wantedto create this pro community.So, so thank you for doing that.So to be determinedat a later date, guys,Bob's going to headlinefor us, and so he'llrun one of our calls.OK I'm really lookingforward to that.Fantastic ok?Are there any otherhands about this thing?Then I'm going totake a Nats question,then we're going to tryand wrap up pretty soon.Here, I put mine down.After that, I didn't start.I'm going nowhere nearthe stage after that show.OK, so Roxy.Fire away.What's up?Oh, Hi.Is it OK with my mic is goingsomewhere, let's go, let's go.We're ready to go.Yeah so I have this,this scarcity thing.That's why I leftthe group because Iwas feeling like itdidn't work that muchand I was feeling likeI need to save moneyand I'm always going tosign up for the year.And it was like more and.And then actually, afterbeing gone six weeks,I realize it was a mistakebecause I get so muchpositive a positivepush from this group,and I didn't have it for the sixweeks and I was in Barcelona,so I was very distracted.So I think in a way, maybeI wouldn't have had much.It would have been overwhelming.But also, I think we compareourselves with others best.And then we start to like,punish ourselves in a way.And that's, yeah, a lot ofreflection and feeling out.A new journal right now finished13 weeks, so that has helped.But still, I'm not.I haven't defeated it.I just learned to cope with it.Great OK, I'm goingto wrap this one upand then we're going tomove on, and then we'regoing to finish withone more question.OK the way I wantto wrap this upis Crash Zoom into my face,the way I want to wrap it up.OK so something that I heardfrom Tony Robbins, which I'veshared with youguys before, whichis really important, I think, tothink about, which is nothing.Nothing in yourlife has meaning,except for the meaningin which you assign it.So when Abby was talkingabout not having enough moneyin the bank and Roxyreminded me of thisis like she's comparingherself to some other standard.Like, having a lot of money inthe bank might make you happyor might not,because then you'regoing to be afraid thatyou're going to lose it all.So it's constantly we'rereinterpreting realitythrough our very specific lens.And we're giving itall kinds of meaning.We're making thenarrative about nothaving money as irresponsibleor we're spending too muchor we're not working as hard.Or maybe what we do isn'tvaluable to the world.That's a narrativethat we're saying,or we could just be saying likethis is the time before thingschange, and I think about thisa lot is that the pain that youfeel is a signal to your brain.If you reinterpret it assomething wonderful is goingto transform, we're goingto leave behind somethingold to something new.It's like we're throwingaway the old shelland having money or no money.It's just measuring yourselfup to something else.Maybe the vision ofhow you're supposedto be at this point inyour life and maybe thisis coming from yourself.It could be comingfrom your parents.Or maybe you'recomparing yourselfto all these socialposts that you'reseeing online about how peopleare living a wonderful life.And that comparisonthat you're looking atis going to destroy you becauseno matter what you have,it's never going to be whatyou compare yourself to.So I think if anything, interms of being very mindfulis just to say we arehere, and that's it.And not to put onthat judgmental lensthat we look at ourselves withbecause it's a deadly thing.