How To Present Without Being Scared

We are at call number98 pro, call number90 eight, that's anotheropen agenda call,and for David Koch's suggestionfor his suggestion, whatI'm going to do is not justleave it to the future Titansto determine the topicsOK, because some peoplecan't make those calls.And they're feeling left out.I definitely don'twant that to happen.So we're going to go back.We're going to go insidethe Facebook page.Where are we?Here we go.And then I'll deal withthe future Titans topics.Ok? and let's just havesome dialogue on this.So I'm scanning through this.One of the problemswith Facebookis I can't sort viathe votes, so I justhave to do it visually.And it looks like,let's start with Abby.Abby, are you here?Abby?Debbie, Hello.Hello I'm here.Oh, I'm gettingready to move on.You all right.Really beat the buzzer.I was like, OK, I'll be fine.We're going to move on.So Abby writes, I havea question, right?How?how I learned topresent, how do Ilearn to present betterand without nerves?I like to teach and do somepublic speaking in the future.I'm a confident personusually, but as soonas something goes wrong isn'texpected, I go to pieces.OK, that's pretty clear.So, Abby, I think you wererecently in our style scape,of course, and you present itright, if I remember correctly.All right.I'm not going to see now.Not yet.OK, now how did you feelwhen you were presentingin the soundscapes group?And I felt reallyexcited to start with,but then when I startedactually presenting,I got really nervous.And tripped over my words a bit.And then my keynotewouldn't workand it just kind ofmade me a bit flustered.So, yeah, I felt afterwardsI felt good that I'd done it.But during I must admit,I did feel a bit kindof all over the place.What was the internaldialogue like for you?Shit, shit, shit, I'mgetting it wrong, basically.Well, it's goingto begin with this.Let's not say thosethings in our mindbecause whatever we focusour attention on us,what we're going to get right?Yeah, Yeah.Your state will affecthow you view the worldand it'll affect yourbehavior and how you speak.So what we need to do is tohave different expectationsof ourselves.I think it begins with we'vetalked about this before.Ira Glass has spokenabout it on ThisAmerican Life is that we havethis imagined future versionof ourselves.And we're constantlyholding ourselvesto that standard, which isimpossible because in your mindthat person can makeno mistakes is smooth,is charming, aswitty, it's lovableand all these kinds of things.But we're just human.And sometimes wecan't find the words,and that's just totally OK.I'll give you a little tipthat Joel Hilgert uses now,I don't totally recommendthis to everybody,but if it helps you in yourpublic speaking, then use it.What he'll do is he'll takeuncomfortably long pausesduring his speech, duringhis speech or his talk.And the reason why hedoes that is sometimes heforgets what he's going to say.And if he purposely puts indramatic spaces in the partsthat he rememberswhen he's tryingto remember what he was goingto say in the other parts,it'll all look the same.So that's his style,that's his technique.And at times, I remember whenhe was speaking on stage,I was listening tohim like, Oh my god,I think Joel lost his spotand then he continues onand the audience islike, oh, it's OK.And then there'stimes I genuinelythink he forgot where hewas going to be in his talk.So I think the idea that we haveto talk wall-to-wall end to endnonstop without missinga beat, always findingthe perfect words, sayingexactly the right phrase.That's an impossibly highstandard to live up to.So that's number one.I think if you go inand just say today,I'm going to do the bestto represent who I am,my thoughts, myfeelings, my passionand I'm not going to be perfect.But the work that I do.Will win the client overat the end of the dayor when the audienceis over or the researchor what I've written isimportant, it's worth sharing.And everythingelse, you'll be OK.my natural state isto fill every gap whenI'm nervous with words, soI need to just take a breathand probably stop.So Yes.Can I share something with you?So I was at Digitaldesign days in Geneva.I was sitting in the audience.I'd like to sit-in theaudience from time to timebecause I want to gaugethe reaction of peopleto next to me, right?And somebody said,Oh my god, I'mjust glad that person spoke likethat because everybody else wasrushing.And it felt so nervous.It gave me anxiety.I could feel their nerves.So what's happeningis each personthat gets on stage has somethingreally important that theywant to share with people.But because they're in theirhead, they're thinking,Oh my god, Oh my god, I'ma screw up, I'm a screw up.Well, I forget for that's beingtransmitted to the audience,and that energy probably islike kicking in the reptile.Part of their brain is saying,oh, I just feel really weird.Will he or she beable to do this?And then they don'teven remember the wordsthat you said?So it's OK, slow down.Be OK in theuncomfortable silence.And you do just fine.And over time, as youmaster public speakingbecause you've doneit 1,000 times,those gaps getshorter and shorter.You'll be smarter with yourwords and you'll be on.Tip number two, if you'regoing to do public speaking,a lot of people say this isto physically drain yourselfbefore you go and speak.It gets rid of alot of the nerves.So go for a run.Do pilates, do somethingwhere you're sweatingand you're just got you'rejust releasing all that stuff.So when you're on stage, yourmuscles relax, you're done.You're not wound upand you're not tight.If you watch, I'm not yourguru with Tony Robbins.He does this whole crazything behind the scenes,like he's jumpingaround like an animal.Then he goes on stageand he's just burstingand he's ready to go.That might help you, OK, butI think for me personally,obviously, practicehelps out a lot,but letting go of the imageof who you think you are.And just to show up as you andthat you on your worst day,you're still going to delivertremendous value to people.And if they don'tlike it, tough.Yeah, OK, good advice.Yeah, that's it.I mean, what else can you do?You can't change who you are.No, I'm getting better at there.So as I get older, actuallyof actually liking myself moreand kind of being myself more.So, yeah, an awfullot getting olderand I free one ofthe only things.Not so much.Yeah yeah, everythingelse goes downhill, right?But that's the one thing like,you start to know who you are,and you start to love yourselfa little bit more wrinkles.You? no.Yeah, Yeah.No problem.I don't call them wrinkles.They're character lines.Yeah don't saybecause of my filter.OK, how many of you guyshave your filter on?OK, right.I do have to say that, yeah,you love yourself more.But you also hate otherpeople more at the same time,like the little girl.Oh, I don't feel thiswith that negativity.I know those little kids withat the front on my front lawn.I want to take the hose to thoseguys like nobody's business.Get off my front lawn shitheads.No, no, no.That that guy inthis is that guy.All right.Thank you very much.And if anybody has a followup question or a more nuancedversion of this thatthey're going through,let's ask it nowso we can move on.