Dealing With Stress

What's your favoritedistressed tactic whenthere is too much going on?The stress static funny thing,Matthew is driving into work,I presume.And we were talking aboutthis yesterday and he's like,sometimes I just getso angry and it'slike, I have to just resolve it.And I said.The discussion was really abouthow to let go of the stress,right, so we're going tosolve the stress problem.How do we release that stress?And as Matthew, likewhat stresses you out,I think that's theproblem we haveto address because I know somethings just get on my nerves.And he turns to me islike, do you have that?I said, well, I try notto get in that state.If there are peoplein my life clients.Employees that are causedme a great deal of stress.I either learn how to solveit by getting rid of themor I have to manage my ownfeelings so that I don'tfeel those things anymore.So generally speaking,there's something herethat you need to know.I remember telling mybusiness coach here,McLaren, saying tohim, are these people,they're just making meso mad and care wouldsay, making you making you.Aren't you in control here?So, Chris, there are novictims, just volunteers,so you volunteeredfor the situation,you made this situation happen.Because you canchange everything.So when you realized oneof the beautiful thingsabout being human, I thinkis free, will and choice.So we're mad becausewe feel like we'repowerless to make change.So one of the most empoweringthings is remember,you have a choice if you'reworking for a companyand they don't value design,they sell it for too littleand they undervalueyour role in that.They overwork you.You are treated unfairly becauseof your gender, of your race,ethnicity.You have to ask yourself.Why do I want to be here?Why do I continue to show up?Why do I continueto do somethingthat drives me miserable?Now, if you're inprison, obviously, youcan't do anything about it.If you're in a certain situationwhere you literally cannot doanything, I understand thatprefer everything else.You have a choice.So to me, treatingthe symptoms of stressby figuring out how to de-stressis not the way to do it,is to go all the way to doit is to go back and lookat the root cause of what'smaking you stressed out.Figuring out, do I acceptthis as part of my life.And do I want to processthis the same waythat I've been processing it?Is it healthy for mylife and for the peopleI care about or don't wantto change my circumstance?I want to change my situation.OK, back to you, my ear.not really a followup, just somethingI'm going to have to digestfor what you've said.Fair enough.Now if you yeah, if you doreally get stressed out,I would just recommendvery vigorous exercise.So whatever your jamis, if you like tennis,go play two hours of tennis.If you like to hike, gohike for a couple of miles.Go for a run.If you like to pump iron.Just let the toxicenergy out of your body,somehow you need to moveyour mind away from the thingthat you obsess overto something different.So this is one of those mindsetmastermind kinds of things.Whatever your mind focuseson is what you get, right?So if you thinknothing will ever workand you have this kind ofdoomsday failure mindset?Well, guess what?Every opportunity yousee, you will meet itwith a doomsday failure mindsetand say, that will never work.Why would anybody do that?You don't deserve this.You're always going to fail.So when you're stressedout, it's usuallybecause you're dwellingon it, you're focused,you're just thinking aboutit, visualizing every partof that drives you crazy.Let's think aboutsomething else,because that's not healthy.I listen to this piece on.the issue of the MeToomovement and womenhaving been treated reallyunfairly, sexually abused,raped in some instances.And there was an interview withAshley Judd, the actor actress,and she was saying somethingabout Harvey Weinsteinand Guy Raz was interviewingher and asking her like,are you able to forgive harvey?And she said withouthesitation, Yes.How were you able to do that,given what he's done to you?And she said, well.Because I believe it's thesame as drinking poisonand expectingsomeone else to die.I have to move on.So if something's causingyou stress, making you upset,ask yourself acouple of questions.Do I have the powerto change situation?Yes or no.And if the answer isyes, then change it.If the answer'sno, it's like we'llthinking and obsessing over thisfeeling that I have about it.Empower me or disempowerme, will it make me happyor make me unhappy?What improve my healthor worsened my healthand make a different decision?This is about gainingmindfulness over these things,I think.Well, sir Chris, when you didthat in Manchester, my wife isalways saying, ifyou live in the past,you said if you're living inthe future, you're anxious,so just live for today.Perfect Yeah.If you live in apasture historian,if you live inthe future, you'vegot a great andoveractive imagination.I think it's hardenough just to be here.And for some reason, we wantto escape to a time in the pastwhen things were better ordream about a future thathas yet to happen.I don't know why we justwant to escape reality.We could be here right now.Trying something new.