Finding The Right Words

Go ahead.So how do you usually likefind the right vocabularyto articulate your thoughtsand stuff like everythingthat you have in your mind?That is a tricky one.I know some really smartpeople who like to use.$6 words all the time,but they're actuallynot doing a very goodjob of communicating.I just try to think of the mostdirect and clear path to whatit is that I want tosay and then choosethose words carefully, butnot try and use fancy words.Now, for a lot of you.And myself included,where English is notyour first language,I suggest let's usebone up on vocabulary.That's somethingthat's very easy to do.And the system thatI use a long time agoand I still admire itjust the way that itteaches you to learn things ingroups is the Princeton Review.For when I wastaking the SAT many,many years ago, I stilllove the way they teach.They grouped lots of wordstogether because it's easierto remember words in bulk.And I also knowthat for me, whenI was listening to theaudiotape or whatever it is,I didn't learn thewords that well.I need to see the words.So you could in theory, notin theory, you could literallytake flashcards likethe way we used to doin junior high and high school.It's to write a word andthen to write the definitionon the back and put a giantbucket of 500 words youwant to learn and just gothrough them every single day.It'll help you, butI think, Alexander,you'll realize I'mnot using fancy words.Most times I don'tuse fancy wordsbecause I just want tocommunicate with people.I don't want to get to jargon.Yeah, yeah, that's my point.Like you.Like using simple words, butthey are just like so direct.So explain for I would saylike that does the curriculum?Yes so I think ofthis all as a sport,I really do, and I enjoy it.So when I'm listeningto the radio on NPRor I'm reading a book ortalking to somebody super smart,they'll use certain words.And I like to study howthey use it in a context.Because sometimes yousee a vocabulary wordand you're like, I lovethat word, but how wouldI ever use that in a sentence?And then you wouldn'tuse it properly?So I just make a game outof it like everything.I want to learn, I want tobe able to listen better,I want to be able to communicatewith greater intentionand with greater purpose.And every time I'm not sure whatsomething means, I look it upand I try to use itas fast as possible.So that's all we justhave to make a deliberatepractice of doing this.Alexander, and to try tobe as clear as possible.The other thingthat I do is you'llnotice my speech pattern.I take pauses,the pauses help meto buy some time to thinkabout what it is I want to say.So I'm organizing what it is Iwant to say before it comes outof my mouth.It's happening pretty quickly,but it is what I'm doing.Now, you guys.I would say that Molly'snot on her show anymore,but Molly used tobe on her show.And one of my mostfrustrating things with Mollyand the purpose of mebringing her on the showwas just to communicate.So what she would do is shewould start one sentence,not finish it and start anotherand start another and startanother.And so it became this reallyfragmented way of speaking.So I tried my best to Kocher,but I was probably nota good teacher.I would tell her,take as much timeas you want to thinkabout something.And then raise yourhand or give mesome indication that you want tospeak and then say that thing.But I guess for her, asshe was saying that thing,she was editing and questioningwhat she was saying,so she would change.The second part ofwhat she was saying.Which is reallydifficult to follow on,it's just driving me mad.I hope we'll have tofigure out how to do that,and I'm not preparedto kind of dissectthat for you,Alexander, but I knowthat if you pick upone of these vocabularybooks in the self-helpsection or the study aidssection in the Libraryof the bookstore,there are plenty ofpeople who are verygood at teaching you words.And then we beginwith the vocabulary.The more vocabulary that youhave to use, the more likelyyou are able to pickthe specific wordto communicate your thought.And that's very important.You just said then, aboutthe pausing feels to youlike your pausing,but then someonestated that you were reallyquick with your responses,so it doesn't comeacross to the listeneras you're taking your time,you're so just saying,you know, you canactually do that pauseand it doesn't affectthe conversation flowlike you think it might do.Don't be scared of causing.These are live picturesof my TV talks as well.Like Joseph'sperformance, he waslike drinking the cup of water.So it feels natural,but doing this.Like, it's like he literallythinks of what elsewe're going.You have to deliver.Yes, in the future.Yeah, OK, I'm going to besuper transparent to talkabout a couple of things.I have been in aweand admire peoplelike Gary vaynerchuk, evenJose, when he was on the show.They can talk so fast and theycan organize their thoughtsso fast and their brain worksat a different speed than mine.So I guess to me, Paul,it's all relative.And my pauses and I've beentaught this to my pauses.I get comfortablewith the silenceso many people feel like assoon as the other person stopstalking that you mustfeel that empty space,and that's when you juststart saying gibberish.And that's when you startsaying things like this,like, you know, and so on.So it's OK to be silent.And there was a bookthat I read on howto give a Ted Talk because Ihad to give something like a TedTalk and they talk aboutthis thing called the bursttechnique.It made sense to me.And it helped me to prepare,so the burst techniquein public speaking is thisis instead of disseminatinginformation in bit-sizedpieces like thisand speaking verystaccato as you'retrying to build what it isyou want to say, store upall of your ideas.Organize it and then toburst and then just say it.And over time, the gaps inbetween what you want to saywill get shorter andshorter and shorter.No lie.All you have to do is watch ourold episodes and you'll see.It's a process, and youcan work through it.