Challenging Low Budget Limits

All right.Give me a little context,and then you and Iwill work through this, ok?Gotcha all right.This is from mywife's perspective,so I'm coachingher and doing this.So she has a contractwith a Universityand she wanted to make more.So I said, all right,we need to level you up.So she's very hesitantabout talking about money.So we're going throughtalking about money.And I had mentionedthe price bracketing,so I said, all right,instead of saying x dollars,we're going to say you wantto go with your lowest amountand we want to anchor itto the highest amount.So we said aroundlike 160 to $200for her particular contract.So they did that.She went in, she pitched it.She didn't like it at first.But yeah, she wassuper hesitant.I was like, look, justtrust me, this guy,Chris knows what he's doing.This thing works.I've seen it.And so I went in thereand coached her up,and so she did it, andshe sent me an emailor sent me a screenshot and waslike, wow, it really worked.They said that it's alittle bit too much,but he came backwith 1:25 to onefifty, which wasgreat because she wasgoing to settle for 110 to 125.Fantastic yeah, so super great.So I wasn't expecting themto go for the higher bracketthat I did.But as you mentioned,go as high as you want.And if it's too much, they'llcome back with the response.Either they'll sayit's too much sorryor here is the other option.Yes Yep.So the question, I guess,is now that they'vecome back with a125 to 150, whatis the next step from here?This is fantastic.Ok?what is your wife do?She's a teacher.No, she's a psychiatricnurse practitioner.OK and is she asking fora higher day rate salary,what are we talking about here,hourly rate for her contract?Yeah so she she's on theprovider side with Medmanagement, so she has acontract with the Universityhere in our state, andshe'll come in and see someof the kids from theUniversity or students say,OK, this is fantastic.This is an example oftwo people negotiating.This is a straightup negotiation.I'm not talking aboutpositioning or anything else.It's just talking about moneyand Blair's golden rule.Blair ends this golden rule isthose who don't talk about it.Don't make it right, so you haveto be able to be comfortabletalking about it.So you've coached her perfectly.Typically, what happens iswhen you're giving two numbers160 to 200 the bottomnumber is the highest numberthat you're going toreally want in your mind.So the 200 is justto move them upthere so that they're goingto focus in on the 160.But like you said, she wasready to settle for 110 to 125or something like that, right?So you coached up perfectly.You never actuallystart with a numberthat you have in your mind.So she would never come into theconversation and say 110 to 200because they're going to think,OK, we're not for you 90,and you expect themto pull you back.And that's just how this works.OK, so we have to beprepared for that.Now you also realizethey're expert negotiators.Oh, Yeah.They have to bebecause they're dealingwith all kinds of people, notjust your nurse, your wife,and so they areprepared for thisand they've heardthis 1,000 times.And they also knowwhat their budget isand where it's not going to beprofitable for them anymore.So I suspect perhaps unlessthere were other circumstances,I don't know about where they'recoming back between 125 to 50is kind of where you justnegotiate really hard then.So when they said,we're thinking this,what is your wife say to that?She's great.She's ready to take 125 now.Mind you. no, no, no, no.Don't do that.Oh, I know that.Yeah, I know.So how did she respond inthe moment, though, it was.This is all through email.So she said, Oh yeah, yeah,this is all through email.She I think, yeah, OK.So she respondedback and say, I mayI'll consider the 125 to 150.Let me know whatyour supervisor says.He has to run the 125 to1 through 3 Supervisor.So it's the ball's inhis court at the moment.And we're waiting tohear back from him.And what were theypaying her previousor they've neverworked with her before?The previous contractwas only $70 an hour.Oh, Wow.Yeah so I've coachedyou up pretty hard.I was trying to show her valueas far as believing in herselfand the value that shebrought, and she finallylistened to me, thankfully.Mm-hmm OK this is awesome.There's two ways tothink about this.The first way tothink about thisis that you have to believe thatyou're worth that much, right,which is what you'retalking about.But that's stressfulfor a lot of peoplebecause people have low,low opinion of themselves.I mean, after all, we're alltaught to be very humble.So that kind ofgoes against beingable to negotiate a higheramount of money for yourself.So there's another way youcan think about this justthe abstract it a little bit.And this is kind ofhow I like to do it.I just like to play a game.That's all it is like, Ithink when you this is goingto be a bad analogy,I think, but whenyou pull into aparking lot, you'relooking for a parking space.If you don't get oneon the first floor,you go to the secondfloor and you justkeep going untilyou find a spot.You don't put a lot ofemotional expectationon the outcome ofyour parking space.When you're lookingfor a bathroomto go like you have to goto the bathroom in the mallor something, you're justlooking for something,I kind of just try toabstract the money partand separate it formyself, actually.The danger there is if you don'tget the price that you want,your self-esteem gets a hit.And that's a dangerousgame to play.So when Ben burns andI are sitting in a roomand we're like, youknow, how much moneyshould we ask the client for?I'm not sitting herethinking about how much I'mworth or anything like that.I'm just like, man,let's try. $70,000 Well,let's see what they say.And that's all it is.If you play a gameof Risk or monopolyor any one of those boardgames, it's just a game.And I think we justneed to abstract it.So the game here is totry to win for yourself.So it's almost like you'rean agent for yourself,and then you can act in a waythat is an emotional, objectiveand unbiased.Does that make sense?Now, Nicholas, I bet you cando an excellent job negotiatingfor your wife.Why is that?Because you have none of theemotional baggage about whatit is that this isworth, you're justgoing to try to getthe best number.And that's why a lot of peoplehave agents and managersbecause they do a much betterjob of negotiating for them.I fall in this trapmyself sometimes,and I'll tell youhow I fall into this.As many of you guys know,I do public speaking.And I'm trying to getto that point in whichI get paid $30,000 todo a talk for one talk.That's what somepeople in my spaceget, maybe onlyone or two people.So that's whereI've set my sights.But when people reach out tome from all parts of the world.And I know that it'snot a rich area,it's not like the UnitedEmirates or something.It's not like in New Yorkor where people have money.I start to say, look, letme make myself affordableand I start to negotiateagainst myself before I evenfloat that number, thenumber that I float out now,it's going to cost you$10,000 to get me out there.It'll cost more, ifyou want more from me.But that's where I'mstarting, and then Ican let them negotiate me down.Truth be told in this videonever needs to leave here.But truth be told, Iwould do it for freeas I've done it for free.Many times, right?So my wife hearsthese kinds of things.She's like, how muchmoney are you getting?I'm like $5,000.She's like, oh, you got to letBen burns negotiate it for youbecause Ben willgo for the jugular.He will ask for all kindsof crazy conditions.He enjoys the role ofmy gatekeeper, I think.He's like, Chris, are not goingto do for this, this or that.He just says itvery objectively.So if you think like, whyare you so brave to tellyour wife this dollaramount or if you'rehelping a friendwith their businesslike you need tofire that personand just promote that person andsay this and this because we'revery clear and we'revery level headed.So an exercise thatyou can do for yourselfis to pretend you'renegotiating for yourself.And the only wayyou can do that isto detach the expectations,the emotional anticipationof the outcomes and then justtalk about the money part.This is a mindsetshift here, you guys,because this isreally tricky nowbecause you have topretend it's not you.So you're going to go in.What's your wife's name?Ali, so Ali.He's going to have topretend like she's not Ali.And you can go prettyfar in this mindset game,you can adopt an alter ego,a different personality.You can dress differently.You can hear can wear yourhair differently just so youfeel like you'rea different personand negotiate for yourself.And see if that'll work.Now, I don't like negotiatingabout money, if possible.Over email.OK, because peoplehave too long to thinkand that they can calmly andrationally just step awayfrom it.Look around the room.Think about it.Walk around and talkto other people,and then come back to you.I would much prefer thatAli pick up the phoneand talk to them.Having been coachedby you, of course,because we need toget an agreementand we need to be ableto communicate tonethrough our voice becauseotherwise it just seemslike here's a number andpeople can respond to numbers.It becomes veryobjective at that point.Much better for Ali to pick upthe phone and say, look, hey,I appreciate youtrying to meet me here.And if we can do it for 120five, I'm a happy camper.Can we make thathappen right now?because otherwise,it's just too hardto ping back andforth via email,and then you're going to hear inthe other person's voice like.Oh, Ali, yeah, you wouldbe the highest paidperson in this position ever.And I'm not going to beable to get that approved,but I can do 130.Are you good with that?And then you can playthe role you just let outa deep breath like, aha!You know what, I really wantto start working with you guys.Let's just make the deal happen.Let's graph up the contract.Let's get this deal done.And that's usuallyhow it works, right?I want to have aconversation with somebody,I don't want to just pingback and forth and email.I know it's a lot easier.You have a lot more couragejust typing in on the keyboard.But the other person hasthe same amount of courageto tell you no.OK great, Thanks.Makes sense to help you, man.Yeah, I'm good.OK, good.Now let's talk about you, man.How are you atnegotiating for yourself?Pretty good.Since I've learned andwatch a lot of the videosI've learned to takethe emotional learningto take the emotions out ofthings and just talk numbers.Yeah it's just like everythingelse is the process.You got to trust theprocess and go in thereand try to objectively look atyour wins versus your failuresand try again next timeyou get go up to bat.OK what's your rate?How do you charge?Well, currently I'mpositioning myself to gointo more of public speaking.I'm actually a pastor.Yeah and so when you see allthe public speaking questions,that's coming from me.I say, yeah, I'ma pastor, and I'mstarting to learn more aboutmy process of preparingfor sermons presentations.Mm-hmm And then so yeah,that's where I'm at.So you're a naturalpublic speaker, right,because that's what youhave to do all the time.No, I am a super introvert.Very similar story to you asfar as being an introvert.So I've had to workvery hard at it.OK, well, we havea lot in common.Let's see if we can helpeach other out here, ok?Yeah