Overcome Nerves Networking Function

Hello hi, Priscilla.I have a question.Just quickly, I just needto boost my self-confidencea little bit, but I'mgoing to challenge myselfin the next two days and goand attend a tech conferenceto try to network and.And I'm a little nervous andmy headspace isn't there yet.So I wonder if youhad some advice.No, I do.You're nervous because you havean outcome you want to have,right?Correct yeah, I wantto make contact.Do you want to make contacts?Do what?To get projects andfor people to hire you?Yeah, yeah, absolutely.OK so that's nerve wracking.So the whole time whileyou're talking to people,you're thinking, oh, I want youto hire me, I want you hire me.How do I get your business?Well, I'll try not to.But yes, I know, butthat's what happens.Right so that could bevery nerve wracking.And if you look at itlike that, especiallyif that's not your thing,obviously, it's not.That's why you're askingthis very question.What I would suggestyou do is stopthinking about tryingto get work from people.Why don't you justget to know people?Why don't you say,what are you here for?Tell me more aboutyour business.What are your challenges?Mm-hmm Right whatare your goals?My name is Priscilla.Seems like we havesome common interests.Maybe after thisconference, we can chat.Let me tell you alittle bit about howI help people in thissituation just like you.OK, but if and only ifthere's a natural fit.And then move on.OK usually when you're ata conference like, tell mewhy you're here, isthis the first, youknow, what talk didyou find interesting?Mm-hmm And I'm scaredit's going to get geeky.That's the thing.Well, don't be scared of thingsthat haven't happened yet.OK OK.And it gets really like nerdy.It's like, whoa, I'm so sorry.I don't like youmust be very smartbecause I don't understandany of what you just said.Right?Yeah.Yeah OK.OK Yeah.Just try to relate topeople build rapport.OK and don't make this mistake.Don't give peopleyour business card.Get their business card.You're giving themyour business card.I don't know whotop people this.This is stupid.OK because you don'teven want to seeI have a Ziploc bag of businesscards and it's enormous,you know, those bigfreezer Ziploc bags?Mm-hmm I have multiplebags of cards.I don't know whatto do with people.Hand them to me.I throw them in abag or whatever.The cards that matter to me,they're sitting on my deskare cards of people Ineed to get in touch with.So I got their card.And once you do, yeah,you can just say,do you have yourdo you have a card?I'd like to get in touchwith you after this.Mm-hmm And they will eitherpolitely say no or yes,and because they don't wantyou to have their card.And then after you get theircard, you can say, here's mine,ok?And if you can figureout a little mnemonic.Some kind of heuristicwhere you can say somethingthat they'll remember you.Right?what do you do, Priscilla again?Well, trending, OK.So you can say somethinglike, my name is Priscilla.And if you need killabranding, that's I'm your girl.I just make it up as terrible.But you give themsomething to remember youbecause they're going tomeet hundreds of people.Yeah and then when they'rethinking branding Priscilla,branding Priscilla,figure out a wayto tie those two togetherwith a funny or quirky thing.Ok?make it memorable.OK OK.And Nicholas, do me a favor.Mute?have a good follow up.I just made it.OK it's fine.I just want to tell you there'sanother form of bias here,and we'll get to Michael.Another form of bias is this.Rhymes for people feel thatthey're true or statements,I don't know why.OK, if you snooze, youlose, is that true?I before E exceptafter C and the personI saw do a TedTalk on this said,that's only truein 2002 instanceswhere there's like 185where it's not true at all.But we believe that to betrue, if it doesn't fit,you must acquit.So think aboutrhymes, alliterationthat helps people to remember.OK, OK, OK.That's it.And I know this is asuper weird and awkward,but go out and do it.OK I am actually andthank you for the boost,and I'm actually myfriend calls me the FBIbecause I ask amillion questions,so maybe I willonce I'm in there.Once you throw yourself in thepool and gets more comfortable.Yeah, I mean, if you ask theright kinds of questions,you don't need to ask that many.Right?so that thing that Ishowed you that wasposted on the feature groupposted by Daniel Montgomery.I saw that.Yeah just ask thosethree or four of those.Yeah, Yeah.Yeah OK.Fantastic Michael, what's up?Thanks you're welcome.So I've it took me a long time.I successfully was ableto stop doing this thingthat Priscilla justmentioned, where Icome at it with an expectation.I come at it with.I'm trying to get a project.Yeah, and instead I'm comingat people like, you know,how can I give you value?I can help you.But I jump to that way too soon.And I don't know.I don't have a strategy forjust approaching someone.Saying, like, hey,what's up, friendly,whatever, I can getpast that, but howdo I get them to saysomething they'rehaving an issue with so Ican start saying, you know,trying to helpthem figure it out?Just just standing theretalking to somebody.How would you normally do it?I don't know.I feel like I feel like I'mtoo I'm too strong with like,you know, so what areyou struggling with?And they're like, Idon't know, I'm notgoing to tell you whatI'm struggling with,you know, like,maybe in your case,it would be good if youkind of started it like,oh, you know, I'm strugglingreally with this, this, thisand maybe somethingthat first you open upand maybe they will follow.I guess that'ssomething you can do.I do at the conferences veryoften when I go to design ones,I just speak to the peopleabout the pains I haveand they naturally follow.So you come at it asa vulnerable personand then they say up,OK, that does help.Being vulnerable is veryhelpful in building rapport.OK that gets to be a point.Like, who's this guy?Why is he tellingme all his troubles?What?why do I care?I would just likefor you to figure outhow to help people, ok?Yeah so in order foryou to get to whatare you struggling with?What are challengesthat you have?Let's just go backto the question.You can ask them,you know, a thingthat I like to do is approachpeople at conferencesand ask them, why are you here?Mm-hmm mm-hmm.Maybe it's a good idea.Like why are they?Yeah, OK.Well, and but thething is, if theyturn around and say, how aboutyou, then you could tell them,OK.OK and somebody turns aroundto ask you that question,it means they'reengaged with youalready because most people justlike talking about themselves.Mm-hmm Just go first.Why are you here?Where did you come from?Like, oh, down the street?OK, interesting.Mm-hmm Is this is your firsttime at the conference?I do.No, I'm just.Oh, sorry.Yeah yeah, Yeah.Facility not the first one.It's like it's your first timeat the conference is mine.Like, what was yourfavorite talk so far?Did you think of this speaker?Yeah, I'm like, are you in,I'm just dying to know this.What line of work are you in?Right?OK, now I'll tell yousomething and we'regoing to wrap the call becauseI'm already over time here.Let me just doublecheck if I don't, I'malready missing something else.OK, I'm still good on time.All right.I was sitting in the lounge of arestaurant during this weekend,right?And this man islike waving at me.I was like, that cannot bea future audience member.He's just too old in a suit.It just make sense.And that in turn, I'mlike waving to me.So I kind of smile backlike, I don't know.I don't want to be one ofthose ones in the commercialwhere a cute girl is likewaving at a guy like me.And turns out she's wavingher baby in the boothand he can't see it right.I don't wait back.So then eventually hegets up and walks overto our table like, oh, shoot!Something's going down andhe goes down and said, guys,I'm sorry tointerrupt your dinner,I'm sure you guys aretalking about reallyfun, cool, amazing things.But back at my table,we were forminga narrative about who you guyswere and why you were here.If you can indulge mejust a few minutes,I'd like to share withyou what we came up with.Then you tell me howfar or how close we are.It's like this is interesting.He says, OK, you guys are herebecause you're a tech startupand you just got funding.And he points tomy friend, Olaf,he thinks you'rethe product guy.And then we all alaugh a little bit.He points to me, is thatyou're the money guy?You funded this thing.I'm like, OK, the pointsto the other guy who says,you're the CEO.And we said, you gotone of the three, right?And he's like, OK,tell me the truth now.And then we told them he justmade up something random.Totally non-threatening,made it fun,goofy, stayed withus for a few minutes,then went back andthen told his friendswhatever they andthey had a good laugh.I think when it's so clearin our mind and agenda,I want something,I want something,we just forget how to relateto other human beings.Mm-hmm Just trust inyour Jedi trainingthat you will eventuallyget to the question.But just don't obsess overthat, because then it'slike, Oh my god, you havesuch a strong agenda.And now you're goingto be really weird.Mm-hmm And the realityof getting businessfrom attending a functionas a networking functionis probably very, very low.So don't let thatruin your experience.Just go relate toa few human beings.And through a miracle of god,you might pick up a client.Fantastic but I've donethis many, many timesand I've gone to many places.I can't tell you one timewhere I've forgotten a clientbut have built relationships.I'm sorry, I take that back.I have gotten a clientbefore from networking.Mm-hmm But it just began as ageneral, just a genuine like,hey, how are you?What are you doing here?That's it.Mm-hmm Right, wouldyou fly in from?Oh, no, I just livedown the street.Fantastic do you goto these conferencesas much as my first time here?Tell me more about theline of work you're in.Oh, that's so interesting.I know nothing about that.How are you guys doing?Fantastic OK.Then you get into it.Mm-hmm OK Yep.You got this.I'm psyched.Now you have little kids, right?Or you have children?Yeah, Yeah.If you can handle children,you can handle a networkingfunction, I promise you.